Dear Kally,

Thank you for the encouraging quotes that I have been receiving in my email. I always look forward to your weekly wisdom and your stories.

I’m in deep trouble. Before I go on further, I want to thank you for taking time to listen to my troubles. I really need a platform to offload my problems because I don’t know if anyone can sympathize with me. I don’t like to be judged. And I have or may be used to have an inflatable ego. But I love my family very very much. As much as my own life.

You see, I made a grave mistake at work. I don’t want to go into details but I’m lucky that my company decided not to sue me. I have horribly caused a mistake that made my company lose thousands of dollars. Something I can’t repay. My mistake is that I was too arrogant, too strong headed to listen to the kind hearts of my colleagues. It was my way or no way. And I paid for my mistake when my company let me go last month.

Until now, I’ve been keeping this a secret from my family. I have a wonderful wife, 4 young children and 2 elderly parents who are living from hand to mouth on my salary alone. My wife has always wanted to go out and work. She has a higher education than I am and always thinks that she is putting her degree to waste by staying at home with the kids. And I always refuse her because I’m a man, a provider for the family. How can I provide my family if she goes to work as well?

Oh well, now I am jobless. I have been trying for the past few weeks to find another job to replace mine. But it is hard when you don’t have a reference from your previous employer. Going back to my ex-company for a reference is not an option. I’m already grateful that they didn’t pursue this matter further.

Can you give me any advice on how do I continue forward? Please. I have attached my resume and I have more than 10 years in outsourcing management. I am hoping to keep my jobless state from my family as long as possible so they won’t worry about our financial status. As of now, my savings can keep us afloat for another half year.

Thank you.

Truly Yours,
John W.


Dear John,

Thank you for getting in touch with me. I’m happy that you enjoyed the Weekly Wisdom and some other posts of mine.

You sound absolutely despair. Please trust me when I say that losing your job is not end of the world, stay strong and positive and you will come through this even stronger. I love that you have taken a whole lot of responsibilities on your shoulders. More than ever, you need your family’s love and support. While it is your choice to keep quiet about your situation, I would advise you to at least have a chat with your wife. She sounds like a smart woman who will be willing to step up and share your problems if you let her.

If a regular job is difficult to find, perhaps you should look into going into freelancing. With your outsourcing experience, there are plenty of jobs that you can apply on freelancing platforms such as Upwork, Freelancer.com etc. You can be a freelance recruiter like myself where I assist clients to recruit potential freelancers. You can be working with corporate clients to source for logistics, operations, warehousing. On a simpler basis to start you off, you can try your hand at research.

As you have a good number of years in management, a good fit will be for you to assist clients to manage a certain part of operations in their company and yes, you can do it offline. The world’s an oyster if you do not limit yourself. We have come to an era where you can make yourself a decent living working remotely.

If you have a platform profile, why don’t you send it to me and I’ll have a look. Personal branding is important in getting the right job and receive a constant flow of clients coming to you. Definitely much better than to hunt for clients.

Don’t beat yourself too much, John. You have learned a lifelong lesson and I’m sure you will not make the same mistake again. The only thing to get you out of this dark tunnel is to remain positive and take action to remedy your situation.

Please let me know how it goes. And best of luck in your job hunt.

Regards,
Kally@MiddleMe.net

If you like to search out similar advice from me, you can either go here or drop an email to me.


 

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19 replies on “A Word Of Advice: I’m Scare Jobless

  1. He could always chose another employer for a reference and get a personal reference from another source. You do not have to be stuck. If you made a mistake or did not like where you working you can alway leave it out and put in private research and studies. Your CV is to reflect you at your best. Many people have several CVs to fit different job types. I would do that design a CV that reflects the person you are. Everyone makes mistakes some costly but you acknowledge this so you have to now let it go and become a better person with less arrogance. Good Luck. Freelancing is a good option be your own boss.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It might be a question of ego here. Some parts of the world, the male are expected to provide and the females are expected to stay at home. Typically in Asia is much more common.

      Like

  2. Think you are very brave to reveal this and reading between the lines – you already know the solution. It sounds like your children are more or less grown up and now is a good time to support your wife to support the family and spread her wings a little. Today roles are interchangeable – allow your children to get to know you better

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Great post Kally, thank you for sharing it! I know there are a lot of sites such as flexjobs, hubstaff and jobspresso out there. I have not personally worked with the sites, but I have friends that have and been successful. I wonder if his wife can do any at home or freelance work…somehow they find a common ground with her working, but yet he is still feeling like the provider. I am so glad he reached out to you and you showed him support.
    Also, can he use a past coworker as a reference? The comments offer wonderful advice as well. Again, thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your advice with us / him. It is a difficult time for him and you can sense his internal struggles. Hopefully, he’ll seek our advice and see the light at the end of the tunnel.

      Liked by 1 person

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