Hello Kally,

You have known to dish out good bits of advice. I wonder if you can help me out in my situation. I’m not very good with people and probably lack people skills.

I am a fresh grad who landed myself a job straight after my graduation. You can say I am very lucky. I worked in a Fortune 500 company and my focus is in media strategy.

I love my job and my company. It’s my dream to come into this company so I work very hard. I am always early and be among the last to leave the office. I meet all my deadlines and I do all my tasks without much difficulty. My job doesn’t require me to work with others that much so I’m pretty much a loner in the office.

I did try to mingle with my team when I first started but I found it uncomfortable so I gradually stopped. Not that they are not nice people, it’s just that I really want to put all my attention on my work instead of rubbing shoulders.

My problem is that I feel my supervisor is very cold towards me. It always has been that way since day one. I thought I am overly sensitive but I have seen him with other members of my team and he behaves differently. He laughs and jokes around them. With me, he is always so serious. I don’t know if I offended him in the past.

My 6 months probation period is up next week. I don’t want to lose my job. I really think I contribute a lot to the team. What should I do to make him like me?

Please help.

Thank you so much.

Truly Yours,
Darren K


Hi Darren,

Thank you for reaching out to me. I hope my answer get to you in time before your probation period is up.

As you mentioned, your probation period is next week. This is a good chance to have a sit down chat with your supervisor. Here are some pointers to bring up your problem:

  • Allow your supervisor to complete his observations on you. Don’t interrupt him unless he asks a question.
  • When you bring up your problem, be diplomatic and leave the emotion factor out.
  • Instead of directing asking if your supervisor likes you, ask if he thinks you are a team player or if he thinks you are the right fit for the team.
  • Seek suggestions on how you can improve your situation in your team.

Finally, your supervisor doesn’t have to like you for you to do your work. However, a close bond within the team is important for success in any company. You don’t have to go your way out to fake friendliness with your colleagues but a cheerful “good morning” or a smile won’t hurt.

I wish you all the best in your discussion. I really do hope you get to stay in your job.

Regards,
Kally@MiddleMe.net

If you think my suggestions work for you, try reading these:

A Word Of Advice: Switching Majors

A Word Of Advice: Money Or My Soul?

A Word of Advice: Blackmail!


 

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8 replies on “A Word Of Advice: How To Get Him To Like Me

  1. You gave some solid advice here I particular love “ask if he thinks you are a team player or if he thinks you are the right fit for the team.” To many people bring their emotions into the workplace. I also suspect this person boss is mirroring the employees behavior by giving him respectful silence and space.

    Like

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