I am a teacher. I love my job. I see myself passing on the knowledge to young children and knowing that I nurture our next generation makes me feel happy and purposeful. But my father hates my job. Please allow me to rant here because I have nowhere else to burst out.
Not many friends know this, only our closest family members know that my father puts me down in front of family outings. So much so I moved out a year ago because I couldn’t stand his taunting anymore. My family consists of my two older brothers who are both successful businessmen, and my father is a lawyer himself. My mother passed on early in my life.
Being a teacher in a private school is a sissy job according to my father. He doesn’t believe that a man should be a teacher and that a teacher is not a professional at all. He belittles teachers all alike and they are out of touch with the happenings in the world.
Worse still for him, I am not just any teacher but I am an art teacher. I secretly switched my major from engineering to arts when I was away at university. So far away from his reach, I could finally breathe freely and do what I truly love.
I could have stayed away or even moved out of the country to pursue what I love but I chose to move back home to be closer to my family. Only to be ridicule of my career choice.
Every chance he gets, he will always refer his two elder sons as his own brood and blandly points out that I take after my mother. Whenever I enthusiastically elaborate on my job, he will excuse himself from the room. Once I confronted him and he told me in my face that as long as I am making foolish choices with my life, throwing my life away, he’ll treat me invisible. That foolish choice is that I choose to teach over this family.
In my mind, I know he is being ridiculous. Teaching is a noble profession. However, in his eyes, he rather I be unemployed, mopped around the house than to ever acknowledge I am a teacher. By chance, I got to know last summer that he lied to all his friends that I am setting up businesses on my own and that I am going to be the next Elon Musk or Bill Gates. His ego doesn’t allow him to settle that I am happy where I am right now.
I love this man. He is my father and I will hope one day I get his approval. Sometimes I think he blames himself that I am in a profession not of his choosing because he single-handedly bring up 3 boys and I being the youngest probably had been affected by my mother’s passing the most. And yet sometimes, I feel that he rather not have me as his son at all. I know I may be harsh to say that but it truly felt like that whenever he points out I am wasting my time on today’s youth or that I am worthless to the bank or nobody will be a successful teacher.
The day I chose to move out of our family home and into a tiny apartment because my father started to insult me as a teacher and the verbal abuse is so bad, I couldn’t stand a moment living with him under the same roof. I only go back for family events like Christmas, Easter’s and birthdays. But everytime I go with an open heart and leave with disgust. I don’t want to cut him off my life but I refused to allow myself to be verbally abused by him. My brothers don’t step in to help to diffuse the situation because we aren’t close and they don’t want to get in the wrath of my father.
So there, I’m all alone by myself. I can’t see any solution to it. I can’t see myself in any other profession except teaching and my old man is stubborn enough to write me off from his life.
Maybe one day, he will appreciate me as a son and not judge me for what I do.
Have something to get off your chest? Write to me at Kally@MiddleMe.net, I’m all ears.