People say to live in the moment and treasure every second living, immerse and breathing in the ‘now’.

Sometimes I feel that in order to truly treasure your moment is to appreciate your past, embrace the differences and how far you have come through from different paths of your life journey. So I love to spend little moments like now to reminisce and waltz through my past and remind myself that sometimes I forgot….

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What it is like to be single

That is before I became someone’s mommy. Gone were the mornings where I can sleep in, buried my head in my soft goose feathered pillow to drown out the sounds and sunlight. My needs are forgone as I cater to every whim and demands of my 19-month-old toddler.

I became more than a mommy, I took on the role of her playmate, her teacher, and her slave. No more white linen blouses as I maneuver to get the food into her tiny mouth (its back to eye-hand coordination for me and of course, her).

No more prancing around the house in rock n’ roll music (my house plays only nursery rhymes nowadays). And no more late nights watching movies in cinemas with popcorns as I struggle to make sure I get in 8 hours of sleep in order to be ready for next day battle with the chores.

What it is like to work in the corporate world

Walking around with a tea latte in one hand and still disheveled in my pajamas at one in the afternoon, I chided myself quietly for letting a whirlwind of events (usually created by my little one) in the mornings to get to me.

I do miss when the whirlwind of events are rushing from one meeting room to another, cursing myself silently (for accepting way too much meetings) as I skip two steps at a time to the meeting room right on the third floor, out of breath, only to realise that they changed the location of the meeting at the last minute.

What it is like to go out after dark

Living in Kuala Lumpur, like most cities in the world, going out alone after dark is asking for trouble. But not in Singapore, where I can be decked in my sexiness and feel safe that I won’t be harassed with catcalls or worse, robbed in the alleyways.

I don’t have to care if my tiny shorts and my flimsy top offend any conservative religion or in fact, anyone who would blink twice at my dressing in the humid weather of 39 degrees (even at night). I don’t have to worry if I pile my neck with strings of gold and diamonds (for the record, I don’t) and fear I will be a victim of snatch theft.

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What it is like to sweat over a major project

As much as a freelancer, I do take on important projects but nothing as big as organizing a dinner & dance event for 2000 people.

Sure, I have participated in website launches but only on a smaller scale and for smaller brands. It is a different ball game altogether when you are part of a team that launches a product that millions are anticipating where any error is one mistake too many and prepares to get called out for that mistake in the press.

Mistakes in those major projects that I had my name in can means the heads will roll and jobs can be lost. The stakes are definitely high but the adrenaline is even higher as I manage to pull off the biggest achievements of my life.

Success has a taste and it tasted so velvety in my mouth. Oh, it feels so good.

What it is like to chase after a deadline

You pushed yourself to the brink and when you thought you are about to collapse and no longer able to push an inch further, your brain comes up with the most brilliant idea. You scrub away why you have done for the past 16 hours and work on the brilliant idea against the clock.

My most memorable moments are working tirelessly with a group of passionate colleagues for almost 72 hours straight and coming out, smelling nasty but alive.

What it is like to not have a single care in the world

I mean I still have cares previously but it is not as important as the cares I have these days. Besides caring for my child, I’m trying my best to give back to society and learning to care more about what goes around the world and not just events that will impact me directly. Somehow without work on my mind all the time, I take moments to be observant in my surroundings.

Just a minute ago, I watched a woman deliberating whether to leave her dog outside of Starbucks so she can go in and get a bottle of water for it. I solved her dilemma by approaching her and volunteer to keep an eye on her dog for a few minutes. I used to be so self-absorbed that I wouldn’t have noticed that woman’s internal struggles.

Same goes for volunteering, the idea has always been back of my mind but now, I finally set aside time to give part of my time to volunteer for a nonprofit organization that caters to parents and young children.

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What it is like to spend money frivolously

Obviously, when you are single and working, you have a huge income to dispose of. I love it that I used to be able to purchase air tickets on a whim to go on weekend getaways to neighboring countries without having to save up. I wouldn’t hesitate to grab a dress or two off the H&M rack without looking at prices.

With a family and freelancing, those are luxuries of the past. Every cent save is a cent earned. And I have moved away from consumerism bit by bit, not by choice but where do I have to go to show off that new swanky heels?

Plus heels and babies don’t match.

I don’t know how Kate Middleton pulls off heels and babies, I can’t even balance myself on those 5 inches.

These are the indulgence of my past, so what have you sometimes forgot…? Please do share with us in the comments below.

Loving my inner thoughts? Want to dig more into my brain and see how it works? Here are some articles to give you an idea:
Feeling Disappointed At Singapore’s Legal System – An Innocent Child’s Life Is At Stake
Elite Schools: A Nay For Me


 

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LinkedIn linkedin.com/in/kallytay

Best things in life are meant to be shared, start spreading MiddleMe around, after all, sharing is caring.

 

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47 replies on “Sometimes I Forgot…

  1. Ah! My precious Kally! You are a rare Jewel, but! Hahaha! I can top up your forgots with mine! Have I forgotten what it is to jump in my Kia Sophia and away to go across the county just to visit one of my seven?

    A car? What is that? Ah! You donated your Kia to your grandson? What you going to drive now? “MY REEBOKS will do!” hahaha! What freedom! No more fear of that police siren trying to catch up with my speed! Free! Indeed!

    O well! Freedom comes with the price of our lives, but! You’ll get what you paid for and more! I look at the picture of that precious princess of yours always with a fond smile of the wonderful mom taking care of her!

    Be forever blessed! Much love, thia 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Great Article, Loved all of it and could relate easily, and there is no better feeling than completing something right at the deadline, the thrill of it. I think when someone becomes a parent or a guardian they have this caregiver mode turned on and they become very observant of others and confident with lending out help. Hope to read more great posts from you. 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 5 people

  3. Wonderful story and thank you for sharing!!…. personally, I don’t look back too often for there is too much in front of me I wish to see… 🙂

    “You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last chapter.”

    Liked by 5 people

  4. Sometimes I forget what it was like to be home with my children when they were small, loved those days and I am sure when I was in them I tried to do too much, nothing really was ever as important as raising them, snuggling with them, reading to them etc. Enjoy the moments now.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. I totally know what you mean!!! I was looking back at my little one’s photos from a year ago and I gasped at how much she has grown!! I’m Glad I choose to stay at home with her so as not to miss any moments.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Dear Kally,love you for your post & ideas.After reading this I realized I have almost forget to pamper my self in past 22 months as all my time is gone chasing my two adorable monsters of my house,feeding,playing,tapping them to sleep,their tantrums and believe me its more than us…loads of love and hug for you.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Oh dear! I totally feel you, babe! Big enormous hug! Us mothers never have a break. Just when we thought we can catch a breath, something or someone needs attending to AGAIN!

      Remember.. just like flight safety instructions, you must tend to yourself first before you tend to those under your care.

      Big hugs and hope your weekend is better than mine!

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Thanks for the read. I saw the bit about not playing rock ‘n’ roll, only nursery rhymes, and smiled. I started out like that when my daughter was a new born, but then thought no to that. I love my music, it keeps me sane, and my daughter needs a musical education. So the rock and roll went back on.
    I still remember fondly a little voice in the back seat of the car saying ‘Play some more Motorhead daddy.’ She was about 3 years old.
    Now she’s 11 and Motorhead still gets played….. along with Katy Perry. She has a varied taste. And I put that down to playing good music to her when she was a baby. So crank it up Kally and get the rock ‘n’ roll back on.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hahahaha. You are one rocker Daddy!! So cool! My little one don’t really appreciate Guns n Roses now. 😂But I do expose her with whatever songs that play on the radio. Her current favourites are Havana by Camila Cabello and Despacito (the original version by Luis Fonsi).

      Spanish songs just attract her. And I don’t even speak Spanish although must admit it is a sexy language.

      I shall take your advice. Let me get some Radiohead on now.

      Liked by 2 people

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