As you all may have read that I have been entering in and out of my home country Singapore for my driving lessons, one of the prominent news have been making rounds on the newspaper as well as social media.
In summary, a gay Singaporean couple had their child borne out of surrogacy in America and tried to have their 4 years old son to be legally adopted by one of the Singaporean father but was thrown out of our court because surrogacy is not legal here.
While the issue here is not targeting at gay biases, the judge chooses to deny the adoption because on the basis of surrogacy not being “possible in socially conservative Singapore“. You can read more here.
I love my country and proud to be a Singaporean
Now I love my country and proud to be a Singaporean, tolerating some of the laws passed because I felt they do serve to protect our citizens’ needs, looking beyond my own objectives with the reasoning to look at the bigger picture – for the greater good of the majority of Singaporeans. But in this case, I felt I need to voice out because a child’s future is at stake here.
While the boy is still with his loving parents, not in any danger of abandonment, he does carry the stigma of being an illegitimate child in the eyes of the law and most importantly, his application for Singapore citizenship is on the line. This means that he is on a dependent pass which has to be renewed periodically, with the possibility of rejection.
Based on judgement grounds released on 26 December, District Judge Shobha Nair declined to allow the application on the grounds that the applicant may have to move overseas if his child was not granted Singapore citizenship. “The reason for the birth of the child in the US was precisely because it was not possible in Singapore,” she said. “It does not further the interest of the four-year-old child. A four-year-old child will thrive anywhere in the hands of loving people.”
For one, the generalized statement of a child will thrive anywhere in the hands of loving people irks me. It is common knowledge that a child needs routine and constant moving will result in poorer quality of life as an adult.
Without the stability of a citizenship, the future of the child to be able to stay in Singapore permanently hangs over his and his parents’ head. If his dependent pass is not renewed, he will have to exit Singapore and return back on a 3 months tourist visa.
The reason for the birth of the child in the US was precisely because it was not possible in Singapore
Sure, one may argue that it is the fault of the parents to seek surrogacy outside of Singapore and now trying to get into the back door of the legal system when the front door is firmly shut. And before you can ask why the parents did not instead approach to adopt a child, adoption agencies in Singapore does not look favourably at gay parents’ application and the only way, one of them can adopt a child is through lying that he is not gay and remove all evidence leading to it.
So should the parents just forgo their dreams of having their own child? Who are we to deny the basic human instinct to procreate and love? Most importantly, what has the child done to be punished?
You can do all the fault finding and finger pointing at the wrongful actions by the parents. Call them irresponsible. Fine them heavily for desperately wanting a child but getting a child through unconventional means.
But don’t punish the innocent child.
I do understand that the courts do not want to set a precedent and open a can of worms, allowing even the thought of slight possibility that parents can now through commercial means, get a child by throwing huge monetary benefits at the surrogate mother, and a woman can now offer her womb for rent as long as the client can pay. I believe each case can be dealt on a case by case basis and on compassionate grounds.
What is done, is done. You can’t shove the child back into the womb of the surrogate mother and pretend the birth didn’t happen. Instead of a blatant no because you want to uphold the laws, say ‘let’s see how we can resolve this unique situation’ and come up with a balance of stricter penalties, revise the adoption regulations, educating the public and not punish the most innocent party here.
The child did not ask to be in this situation, he did not have a choice.
You can tell this incident truly pains me. What could have the courts do in such unique case? Do you have the same sentiments as me? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.
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Agree don’t punish the innocent child , a life is at stake , hope that the court consider it a special case !
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Thank you, Cherry for sharing the same thoughts as I am.
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In India, surrogacy is legal for only those married couples who are living together and trying to get a baby for at least five years. For homosexual parents, there’s no question. 😦 Every country has some weird law and rules which ultimately give rise to complication especially when children are concerned! I completely agree with your point, Kally. The child is innocent and has every right to get a loving “home”.
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. I hate it when legal system is screwed with handling children. Poor boy to have such a horrible start in life.
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So true! Traumatic for him….
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Good for you. Love is the most important thing.
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Thank you, Cindy. Yes, love is the most important and amazing thing.
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I 100% agree the child should be granted citizenship. He’s not going to stay a child forever; he’s going to be an adult someday and it will be somewhere between annoying and tragic for him not to be a citizen of his own country.
I think surrogacy is unethical except in rare circumstances, but that’s a separate issue from citizenship.
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There are plenty of different opinions on homosexuality and surrogacy but the importance is the child that is right in the middle of the legal complications. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
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Even right now, the child’s going to have a problem with his education if he doesn’t secure his citizenship.
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Change begins when people speak up. Tolerating intolerable laws keeps them continuing. Questioning opens possibilities. Well done to you, Kally.
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Thank you, Carolyn. I just feel so heartbroken at the nature of this case.
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What they could have done (the courts) treat it as the unique case it is and make an exception. Right?
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Totally agree with that point. But the courts aren’t going to do that for the fear of setting a precedent for future similar cases. Sigh!
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The whole scenario is wrong on so many levels. There is not only Singapore’s laws to be dealt with, but universal laws as well. The avoidance of the latter is what is going to cause the most amount of pain in this scenario.
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Oh I agree with you that we are just avoiding the topic and not discussing it openly with the citizens. I just find it so heartbreaking.
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This makes me so sad, at the end of the day no one had bad intentions and children are innocent and they are blessings.
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I know. I feel so sad as well. It’s like implying the child is never meant to be.
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This is so very sad. Well done for speaking out in truth!
Hayley 😊❤️
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Thank you, Hayley! Yes, it’s very sad that a child has to suffer for the consequences of the adults’ decision.
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I understood you.the child can’t help it
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Reblogged this on Alessandria today.
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thanks for bringing this to our attention, Kally – very sad – is there anything that people who don’t live in Singapore can do?
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Sadly, not really anyone can do much as Singapore is pretty set straight in their legal system. They won’t budge, not even when foreign publications and media showcase about this case.
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wasn’t it in Singapore where in the 1980’s some foolish young American boy was whipped for spitting?
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Yup! Michael Fay was canned for vandalism and theft in 1994. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_P._Fay
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a troubled soul…
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Thanks for the sharing kids are in the middle always of pain in the courts even down here in Canada and that is degrading and shame on the Judge for not taking the best interest of the child which is sopose to be in every case. Wow unbelievably heart breaking.
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Thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts with us. Yes, it is heart breaking sad for this family.
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Every child deserves a loving family and that should be a value of every court whichever country it is, no matter how conservative it is.
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Thank you, Sophia for sharing the same thought as I have. It is just sad that a child’s life is ruled over by the legal system. I really hope that with awareness created, perhaps changes can be made to include case-to-case judgement like for this one.
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I can understand the jurisdiction issue because that’s a universal principle of the court but what should matter the most in a case concerning adoption of a child, we shouldn’t be placing limits. Prejudice should not overcome humanity.
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Sadly it is the case here. The courts are afraid of setting a precedent for all future cases and encourage people to find loopholes in the legal system and abuse it.
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I put the blame on the parents here… yes it’s too late now but they should have thought about it as they should know how strict Singapore is. Here in NZ… surrogacy is only allowed if the surrogate mother is a relative of the parent (eg: sisters-1 surrogate mom and the other who will adopt the baby) and no payment shall be incurred. Hence, not a lot of people are doing it here.
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Hmm.. but is surrogacy is a bad thing? Singapore is banning surrogacy all together to prevent misuse and abuse. I am on the fence here. I know my fair share of women who wants to be a mother but can’t. Some of them don’t qualify for adoption either due to the strict restrictions and criteria in Singapore.
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Perhaps it really depends on the place and situations. Here in NZ you can apply as a sponsor the govt can even pay you a salary to take care of some kids (mostly in trouble or homeless).
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