What if Snow White did not take a bite out of the poison apple? What if Cinderella did not go to the ball? What if Sleeping Beauty turns out to be a boy instead? There are plenty of crossroads in our lives. Many decisions made impacted our lives in more ways than one.
Idly, I wonder what would have happened if I choose to stay working in Shanghai instead of giving up my highflying corporate ladder to settle in Kuala Lumpur.
This is what I will probably be…
A career woman in Shanghai probably relocates again within in China. I probably will not have as much time to build my family as I’m super focused on my career so my little one will only make an appearance a few years later. Plus my job will require me to travel frequently so being pregnant will not be ideal, neither would morning sickness.
My husband will resign and stay at home trying to build a business of his own but at the same time, feeling somewhat helpless due to his limitations of the language. I will have a spotless home and wonderful homecooked meals because he is more domestic than I was. Probably still is if I haven’t taken over the role in KL.
I will not start a website called MiddleMe because I wouldn’t have the time, and neither would I need to freelance since my career will bring in enough challenges to drain me mentally and provide financially. I wouldn’t have known such a supportive blogging community and readers like you all here. That’s for sure.
I’ll never know what it feels like freelancing for a career or how is it like working for myself and not working for someone else. I won’t have tasted the freedom of being in control of my finances – how much I want to earn or be able to choose the work I’m interested in or be able to enjoy the flexibility and time I’m given through freelancing.
For this, I have matured so much intellectually and obtain new skills, whether it is to market myself to clients, setting boundaries and rules to protect my interests, balancing the books and timetables – well, in other sense, owning a small-time business.
I’ll probably procrastinate having children (which means the world to me to have my little diva) and to enjoy motherhood now. I am very certain that I will still be a mother later. But I won’t be able to devote as much time as I do now staying at home with her. I will miss most of her milestones and guilt-trip myself for being a bad mother every time I go to work or need to stay back at work.
I’ll get updates from my husband or her teachers on the growth of my child. I’ll constantly be amazed (and full of sorrow) that she seems to grow up so much whenever I come home from business trips. I’ll spend more time on FaceTime with her than Face to Face. And I’ll miss her little butterfly kisses at night.
I will miss out on giving back to society and volunteering for a greater cause. Something I wanted to do for the longest time but just couldn’t find the time or the energy to do it. I wouldn’t meet wonderful people through my volunteer work and likeminded mothers who are in a close bonded community, those that became wonderful friends.
Most importantly, I’ll never have “met” interesting people online and able to share an affinity with. Or to have touched so many hearts and mind with people. Or exchange amazing conversation through emails with some of you. Or receive wonderful sweet encouragement and support through comments here.
Because MiddleMe.net will just be a passing idea, something I toyed with in my mind but too busy with work to actually execute it.
So what if my “what if” path will take my career to greater heights and I probably will be flying business class, traveling around the world in style and collect expensive watches and handbags as a hobby. Maybe drive a luxury car. Live in a bigger house. I’ll still be missing the experiences, the memories and most of all, the friendships I have the blessings to gain on my chosen path.
With a smile, confidently and proudly announce I have no regrets.
What are your what ifs? I look forward to reading your what-ifs in the comments below and if you like, write a post about your whats if and post the link here!
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