Dear Stay-at-home mommy,

Thank you for all the sacrifices you made when you thought nobody is looking. You put your career and dreams on hold so that you can nurture your little one so that he or she can be a better person.

Nobody taught you how to love and care for your child 24/7. You allow your motherly instincts to take over and you do the best you can to teach and guide with love, the way no other stranger can do. While other kids can attend daycare and learn from teachers and kids of their age, you provide one to one attention if it means sacrificing your time to pursue your own hobbies.

On top of taking care of your little one, there are floors to be swept, laundry to be hanged, clothes to be washed even toys to be kept. Nobody knows when you wake up in the early morning at 5am just because your little one wakes up at the same time. Often, you are given the advice of ‘sleep while your baby naps’, it sounds easier than to execute. Every naptime, you hurried to make up for lost time, whether it is to catch up on housework or prepping for tonight’s dinner or making purée for baby’s next meal. Even when the chores are done, sleep is overrated, it’s the only time you get to take a long bath, listen to music and finished off that chapter.

The only way you get in touch to the outside world is through Facebook where you quickly browse through as the little one feeds himself. Your friends have now split into two camps. The ones who are childless can’t wrap their minds why you can’t join them for a 9pm supper or a midnight movie. And the ones who have children can only meet up for a short hour just because there is just not enough time for everybody. The phone conversation will often start with “Oh gosh, I’m so tired.” and ends with your “I think I hear the baby crying. Got to go!”

The phone conversation will often start with “Oh gosh, I’m so tired.” and ends with your “I think I hear the baby crying. Got to go!”

Speaking of tiredness, when the whole family is asleep, you are awake feeding the little one. Night feeds never seem to end. It’s been a year (and still counting) that you haven’t had the luxury of sleeping 8 hours straight – a luxury that many of us take for granted. You practically can sleepwalk into the kitchen to mix milk formula or speed-change his diaper blindfolded.  You probably are so sleep deprived that you kept calling your little one the wrong name (I know I called my cat my daughter’s name and vice versa).

When everyone depends on you, you are the supermom.

“Mom! Where are my socks?”
“In the third drawer.”

“Honey, did you remember to buy paper for the printer?”
“Yes, it is in your study.”

You juggle groceries with your strong right arm while carrying a wiggling baby with your strong left arm. All the while, you do sometimes think wistfully about your previous life – seems so long ago, you had a career, a killer little black dress and manicures every other week. Now it is replaced with chores, a food-stained old t-shirt with track pants and short bitten down nails. You used to be known as Sally or Mrs Jackson but now you are known as Jamie’s mom as if that is the only identity you have. Fearful of losing yourself along with your sanity, sleep deprivation you are teetering on borderline depression.


Identity is not the only thing you missed. If you can write a list, it probably will never end. Movies in a cinema, mojito in a bar, dancing in a club, shopping without a stroller, 3 hours of massages, facials and hair treatments are all a thing of the past.

Stay-at-home mommy, I feel you. Everyone’s been going how great you are, sacrificing your career and your life for your family. Sometimes you just wish you can trade roles. But you persevere on through the food fights and poop explosions and nonstop yelling. You know that you can never resign from being a mother, never have an off day, can’t take an annual leave to escape but you know you made the right choice because it is your choice.

You get to witness all your little one’s first – first smile, first laugh, first steps. You are rewarded when your baby beams his brightest smile when you walked into the room because you are his most favourite person in the world. You also get to wipe his tears, hug him when he fell, whiff his baby smell before it is all gone. Trust me, in time to come, he’ll have to leave the nest like we all do. All these are worth the lost dreams and career when his first words are Mama when he gives you his favourite toy when he cries for you when you leave him in school.

Mommy, thank you. Thank you for everything you have done and gave up so that you can nurture our next generation to make this a better world for a better tomorrow.


*Stay tuned for my letter to a working mom.

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50 replies on “A Letter To A Stay-At-Home Mom

  1. Wow I was truly moved by this, remembering all the sacrifices my mom made for all FIVE girls! Thank you Mommy for being a stay at home mom! I love you! Xx God bless and keep you! Wonderful post indeed! 🙏😭💯💕

    Liked by 5 people

      1. Our moms should be appreciated daily, not only around Christmas time. Christmas is about the birth of Jesus Christ and of God sending the greatest gift to earth for us to die for our sins which is Jesus Christ. You’re most welcome and God bless! 🙏😊

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you Kally for summing it all up. I was touched and got teary eyed 😢. The reward we get is priceless. My teenage daughter thanked me once for bringing them up properly and never giving them access to gadgets early. She saw the effects on our nephew who is still a toddler.

    Liked by 3 people

        1. Like no two babies are the same, no two mothers are the same either. I’m truly enjoying every moment with her even when she’s yelling and pulling my hair….at the same time. Haha.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. This is exactly how it is. I can so relate to it. This is what mums do though and getting a thank you and the love I get from my grown up sons is a treasure. Being a mum is underrated and it should be more honoured. Calling your children the wrong names….my 2 will straight away say yes she always does…… I still do it now as they are adults, I mean the right person but say the wrong name. It is a mum’s syndrome. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Haha. I’m glad I’m not the only one calling my daughter wrong names but it’s kinda weird to call her by my cat’s name though. You’re totally right, being a mum is underrated and so often taken for granted.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Which do you love the most? I kept feeling I’m not doing enough being just the stay-at-home mom. Other mummies are like what? You’re juggling a freelancing career, a 11 months old baby, housework and a blog! Yes, sometimes it does get a bit too much.


      1. I loved being a part-time working mom–enough time together, enough time away. Now that my kids are older it’s not so bad working full-time, but it was awful when they were little. I didn’t like staying home either, although under different circumstances it might work better.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Ah.. the best of both worlds! I kept fearing that I’ll lose my identity like many mothers do. It has begun to show that I’m Audrey’s mom rather than Kally but this blog plus my work keep me sane enough and still in touch with the outside world so I don’t go ‘baby this ‘ and ‘baby that’. Lol

          Liked by 1 person

  4. I love this. After I was born my mother became a stay at home mum. And she can so relate to this!! Thank you for this. I am going to share this post for sure..

    Liked by 2 people

        1. You know, Jonathan. I just put my screaming little diva to sleep and then I saw your comment. You are absolutely a friend and a darling. You put a smile on my face right now. Big hugs.


  5. So beautiful! When my daughter was three months old I took her to the drive-in and out cotton in her ears. I didn’t want to ruin her hearing with loud movie music, but I was desperate to get out and go see a movie. I think we both fell asleep 😴 so I totally know what’s behind this post. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I totally get you. I’ll wait for my parents or my in laws to come visiting and the first thing I said to them is that I’m going to a movie/haircut/dentist and you’ll gonna watch the little one for me.

      Liked by 1 person

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