Dear Lovely Kally,
I haven’t worked in many years and I am a stay-at-home mother but I read your blog because I find that some articles are useful to forward to my Daughter. I loved that you have a Daughter too, so you’ll understand where I am coming from.
My daughter started out her first job this year as a teaching assistant in a private school. Her wish is to learn the ropes and someday, gain promotion as a teacher.
She loves children and is very passionate about teaching so I know this job is just right for her. But she comes home red-eyed so very often because she’s being bullied by nasty parents and self-entitled kids.
As her school is a prestigious private school, many of the parents don’t really want to know that their princes and princesses are trouble in school.
Once, one of the boys in her class threw his school bag at her causing a small cut at her face. He did get suspended for a week but no apologies from either the student or his parents.
At another time, a nasty parent walked into her classroom, slapped my daughter in front of her students and accused her of sleeping with her husband. After investigation, it is found untrue and the mother did not even apologise at all.
Both times, I intervened and reported this to her principal but only to be told that my daughter is an adult and this is a work situation that she should handle herself. Because of my intervention, my relationship with my daughter has strained. She stopped confiding me with her problems at school so as to stop me from worrying.
How can I not worried when I am her mother?
What else can I do to protect my child?
My heart wrenched as I read your post and imagine if my daughter is in the same situation as yours. I feel for you.
I’m so sorry to say that the principal is right about your daughter is an adult and she has to handle her own problems at work. We all have to fight our own battles at workplace and go against demons and devils, sometimes we learn and other times, we grow stronger. However, this is not to say you can’t help in your own ways.
First step, you need to open up to your Daughter and let her know that keeping you away from her problems is not helping at all. You will still be worried about her and worst, you’ll be overthinking and guessing what she is not telling you and what she is hiding from you.
Promise her that you will not take any reactive action if she confide in you unless it endangers her and compromise her safety.
Next, ask your daughter if there is anyone in school that can guide her through this. Perhaps a fellow teaching assistant or a teacher. She needs to observe how the teacher handle the kids in class and in school premises.
If the kids are nasty, she won’t be the only target.
Look into ways she can improve in commanding respect in the classroom. Share her experiences with other Teachers in her school and if she can’t find support there, look elsewhere.
There are plenty of Teachers’ forums that she can share her problems and gain helpful tips to overcome each situation whether it is a boy being rude to her or a girl ignoring her instructions.
Finally, be prepared to go to the school board and the authorities if reported cases are not duly investigated and the principal sweep major issues under the carpet. Have her come to an agreement on this because it may cause her to lose her job.
I’d like to say she should look for another job elsewhere but it should be her decision to make whereas us, as mothers, can only support her in every way and any decision.
Once again, I feel your pain and your worries. Do have a heart-to-heart with her and let me know if there is anymore I can do to help. You are a wonderful mother.
Need a listening ear on your career problems? Write to me at Kally@MiddleMe.net or pick one of these posts to read:
A Word Of Advice: Anti-Marriage Policy
A Word Of Advice: Why Is It So Hard To Land My Dream Job?
Word of Advice: Living up to my Father’s Pride
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