Do You Need to Disclose that You are Dating a Co-worker?

Love can hit us in the most unexpected times. It can hit us even in the workplace and end up causing us to fall in love with our co-workers.

While falling in love is great for our personal life, it can have repercussions, especially when your bosses find out about it. Companies and business owners may either support or forbid your relationship. If they support it, it is great; but, if they don’t, it can be a problem.

So, do you need to disclose that you’re dating a coworker? Here are some things you can do to ensure both your career and reputation is protected:

1. Understand your company’s dating policy

It can be very easy to fall in love with someone in your office because you spend a lot of time with them. However, before you say yes to any relationship, you have to be aware of the rules regarding dating in your workplace.

Some companies often dissuade romantic relationships because of their potential to disrupt work. Others do allow it, but there are some guidelines to follow.

Check these rules up to see how you can build your relationship and protect your career.

2. Ask yourself if you really like the person and if they are interested

As we mentioned above, it is not hard to fall in love in the workplace considering how much time you spend there. However, it is important that you immediately know where your relationship will go.

Ask yourself if what you are feeling is true love and if your significant other feels the same way.

If you share the same feelings, you can go talk to the HR to inform them about your situation. If the relationship is still fresh and in early stages, you may want to wait it out and see how it progress.

3. Establish ground rules

If you decided to continue the relationship, set some boundaries on how it will go without affecting your careers. Base your ground rules based on the company’s rules on workplace romances and make sure not to annoy everyone in the process.

Do you want to talk shop when both of you are outside of work?
What happens when there is a clash of work ethics?
What about confidential office secrets, how do you handle keeping secrets from each other?
How do you conduct yourself professionally after a big fight the night before?

One thing for sure, no public display of affection in the office!

4. Make a plan to handle the heartache

If the workplace doesn’t allow workplace relationships and if you see that your relationship is not working, have a breakup plan available.

While it can be weird to make one at first, having one will help you get past your breakup and not have it affect your work.

5. Hide it

If you are really certain that you want your relationship to proceed regardless of the rules, you can hide it from your co-workers.

However, this does pose some risk, especially if your co-workers find out about it. These co-workers may feel betrayed and hurt. You may put into an awkward position where you have to lie to protect your double life.

Your partner may also resent you if you put too much emphasis that your relationship should be kept as a secret to everyone. It can take a toll on your relationship in the long run.


It is difficult to control our heart, especially if it tells us that the person we are with is the person who is the “One.” However, it is also crucial that we ensure our careers are not going to be at risk.

So, before you begin a relationship with your co-worker, know everything there is to know to prevent any mishaps from occurring.

It is important to establish good bonding with your colleagues and here are some ways you can do so:
10 Ways to Improve Your Workplace Relationships
10 Things That Can Happen If You Fall In Love At Work
5 Sensitive Topics that You Shouldn’t Discuss in Office

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17 Comments Add yours

  1. Simon says:

    Hi Kally, Another interesting post indeed. Good reading all your love at work related posts. Have a beautiful day✨

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Kally says:

      Thank you Simon. Please have a wonderful weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Mr.Holliman says:

    I nominated you for the bee love award

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Kally says:

      Thank you so much for your generosity! I’m so happy and honored. 😊


  3. Good advice, Kally, which I definitely will consider if ever I’m in the situation you describe.

    In the more immediate sense, though, people in our office have dated. Hiding it doesn’t really work, I think, as anybody who knows these people can tell something’s going on. Not to mention the fact we’re social creatures, meaning it’s nearly inevitable we’ll start whispering to close colleagues, “He/she and I are seeing each other.”

    Way to practice secrecy, James Bond.

    As for our office, at least, all the relationships resolved themselves – either the couple broke up, or they both got other jobs and continued the relationship on the outside.

    Point is, maintaining a relationship while remaining coworkers seems to be an impossible feat.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Kally says:

      I did know a couple who kept their relationship such a secret that nobody knows. Until they decided to get married and invited all of us (only less than 20 people in the office). We were all in shock, including our bosses who couldn’t imagine how we missed the signs.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hmmm, Kally. Well, I’ll be…

        In my defense (sort of), there are only about fifty in our office, and maybe we’re not a particularly transparent group. In the company as a whole – about 600 people on six different floors – maybe a secret romance or two has blossomed.

        Cupid’s Champions in your office definitely showed it can be done!

        Well, would you look at that?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Kally says:

          Hard but not impossible. It really have to narrow down to the couple’s personalities. If both of them are introverts, maybe not that hard to hide a secret.

          Liked by 1 person

  4. Another good-one Kally, thanks!

    Sometimes prudence dictates how this must be handled.
    Companies vary on what they permit; so KNOW the ground rules before it is TOO LATE.

    Even of the company permits such; it can NEVER interfere with work and your job performance. That WILL get at least one of you fired. Be PROFESSIONAL at work ALL of the time. If possible, don’t work on the same team, or the same department. (Prudence doesn’t seek trouble.)

    God Bless,

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Kally says:

      Absolutely right on point. Thank you for sharing, Patrick. Godspeed to you.


  5. I suppose I should check my employer’s policy sometime. I never expected anything like that to happen, but it’s probably better to know just in case.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Kally says:

      Knowledge is power. No harm knowing your HR policies. Not only you’ll help yourself, perhaps able to advice your coworkers too.


  6. msw blog says:

    Great post and tips. I will say understand your company’s dating policy is a must

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Kally says:

      Thank you so much!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. da-AL says:

    Good things to consider — dating someone one works with is dangerous — but at the same time, one can learn much about someone by working with them…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kally says:

      Very true. Thanks for sharing!

      Liked by 1 person

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