There are many talented writers and bloggers out there in WordPress and I count myself lucky to followed by most of you. Here is a wonderfully written post by Caz to share with us, her experiences. This post is insightful and first-hand experience, coming from a victim of workplace abuse. Caz like myself, couldn’t tolerate bullying and trying to raise awareness in this area.
If you enjoy her post as much as I do, please do drop by her blog.
Unfortunately I came across many bullies when working in mental health environments – the very place where the staff have been trained to care for people, to provide preceptorship supervision and mentorship to their colleagues.
What is bullying?
UNISON* has defined workplace bullying as persistent offensive, intimidating, humiliating behaviour, which attempts to undermine an individual or group of employees.
Bullying at work can be broadly broken down into two different types. That which is: personal in nature – e.g. derogatory remarks about a person’s appearance or private life and work-related – e.g. questioning a person’s professional competence, allocating unachievable tasks. Many bullies will of course engage in both types.
Serial bully
During a placement in the Community Mental Health Team (CMHT), I was horrified that at the age of thirty-six I was being bullied by my supervisor Alan (an ex-policeman). I thought I’d put all that behind me when I finally left the school gates. This vile man would constantly belittle me, talk over me and question my judgement and knowledge of patients and undermine me in front of colleagues He’d ignore my input and he’d snigger at my Cockney accent if I spoke in meetings, because he knew I hated it. He’d deliberately leave me out of ward rounds when ‘my/our’ patients were being seen saying there was no point me attending as I had nothing to add. He smirked as he refused to sign my attendance sheets saying he didn’t know what days I turned up or didn’t – only because he came in late every day. I was lucky that his colleagues took pity on me and took me out on patient visits or to ward rounds in the hospital. He blatantly ignored my attempts to communicate with him but still he looked furious when I said I had no option other than to speak to the CMHT Manager. His boss had to act as mediator for the rest of my placement because Alan continued to intimidate me with his passive aggressive stance. How sad that two ‘adults’ had to resort to this!
Based on research into thousands of cases of bullying at work, Tim Field** believed the serial bully’s focus is on power, control and subjugation of others. They usually operate by targeting one individual and bullying them relentlessly until they break down or leave. They then move on to their next victim. By the time organisations realise that there is a serial bully in their midst, considerable damage has already been done.
The policeman’s wife
My next placement was in a mental health rehab unit and on my first morning during ward round I noticed the Consultant’s leather holdall with her name engraved on it. She was only the serial bullying policeman’s wife – and my heart sank to my stomach. However, she was as sweet as he was sour and as warm as he was cold; she was smiley and encouraging and I liked working with her. It was during this time that she told me they were going through an acrimonious divorce. Not sure I had any sympathy for him.
Don’t rock the boat
It was also during my next placement in the rehab unit that I came across Ricky who was the Acting Manager. I told him about one particular patient, a young lad called Devlin who found it difficult wake up, to get up, showered and dressed before morning medication and breakfast. The nurses wouldn’t re-open the treatment room to give him his medication and they refused him breakfast, telling him that he should get up earlier. Ricky’s response was eyes rolling and “Tut, this is a rehab unit Nancy and patients have to learn how to get up and ready in time for medication and breakfast. This is why they’re here.” I flippin’ knew it was rehab! Nonetheless, some patients need to be encouraged to get up on time, “get him an alarm clock or something” I suggested. More eye rolling and tutting but he did open the treatment room and give Devlin his morning medication. I made some toast and tea for Devlin but was severely criticised and told by Ricky that I shouldn’t have done this and not to do it again because other patients will expect it too.
I also spoke to Ricky with regards to the nurse who came in each night shift with her slippers and duvet and slept on the sofa once the patients had gone to bed. I highlighted the risk to our patients, myself and colleagues as we were one member of staff down when she slept. Huffing and puffing or tutting and heavy sighing, he told me that I was there and would make up the numbers. However, as students, we were there to learn by shadowing colleagues and not to be counted in the staff numbers. First he said “What do you want me to do Nancy?” Without allowing me time to answer, he went on to say that Ayo, the ‘sleeper’, had been there so long on night shifts because she had children so they cut her a bit of slack. More likely, he didn’t want to rock the boat; he was afraid of his long-term staff and I think he lacked the confidence to deal with them effectively. However, he had no problem making derisory comments about my naivety and lack of lack managerial knowledge or how to deal with staff. I lost respect for him as a Manager and couldn’t even be bothered to tell him that I’d been a Human Resource Manager for almost twenty years.
I asked casually how long Ayo had been on permanent nights and was astonished when he told me twenty years. This lady had grandchildren by now and no one had ever questioned her working nights constantly, which was against Trust Policy. Ricky refused to take action and I was berated for raising problems where there was none and told “Don’t even think of informing Human Resources. It would just mean more paperwork and aggravation.” – for him no doubt! Ricky made it as difficult for me as possible to raise concerns about the poor practice I witnessed on the unit. However, I was able to write about it all in my Practice Based Assessments and the essay that followed this placement and felt vindicated by the Uni lecturers’ comments and high marks I received for both.
I eventually qualified as a mental health nurse and within four years I was promoted to Ward Manager (Band 7). I often bumped into the bullying policeman who was still working at Band 6 level and the Acting Manager who’d since been demoted back to Band 6 and without exception I greeted them with the same cheery smile I’d always given them.
*Tackling bullying at work, A UNISON guide for safety reps
**Tim Field, UK National Workplace Bullying Advice Line between 1996 and 2004
If you like to read more about workplace abuse and bullying, here are some of the articles:
Identifying The Different Types Of Workplace Bullying
Bullying at Work
How To Eliminate Gender Bias In The Workplace?
How to Deal with Sexual Harassment at your Workplace
Can’t get enough of MiddleMe? You can find me sharing my thoughts here as well:
Instagram @kallymiddleme
Twitter (MiddleMe_net)
FaceBook (MiddleMe.net)
LinkedIn linkedin.com/in/kallytay
Best things in life are meant to be shared, start spreading MiddleMe around, after all, sharing is caring.
This really needs to be read by as many as possible.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I agree with you. Please do share it out.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aaawww, thank you for the re-blog. Really appreciate it. Caz xxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s my pleasure to feature you here, Caz. Have a great weekend!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you. I’m off to Scotland for my niece’s wedding x You have a great one too x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice! Have a smooth flight!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was bullied at school.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry to hear that. Hopefully, it has made you a stronger person.
LikeLike
Yes, though would’ve been happier to Stronger without. I did get my Karma day though.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oy! This sounds all to familiar to me as a therapist. I am glad she had the courage to speak up when needed. Thanks for sharing.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Same here! Thanks for your comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s so sad.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, it is.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is so important to be said and read by many… i am so happy we are coming up with issues so relevant like this🙂
Also what is a guest post?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! A guest post is when I invite a fellow writer to share a related post on my website.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, this is so thoughtful. Thank you for telling me. You write veryy well 😍😊👏
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for your support!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is an important topic…. Thank you for writing about it….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for your comment and welcome to MiddleMe.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My pleasure….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very insightful and practical.
Loved that she remained good and was herself even when she got to the level she eventually did.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad you love her post. There’s plenty of inspiring and interesting posts on her blog. Please do pop over when you have the time 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes sis. I did, though wasn’t for too long. 🤗
Happy new week. 💗
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very moving
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. I’m glad you like it.
LikeLike
Thanks for sharing this! It’s important that information about workplace bullying continues circulating so no one ends up thinking a bad experience is their fault.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I totally agree with you! Thank you for your comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙋🌷
LikeLike
You are a brave man, you did not let yourself be intimidated. I imagine how people who are hypersensitive and not very resistant to criticism suffer. Regards
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for your positive and encouraging comment.
LikeLike
There is a growing trend of passive-aggressive thing everywhere right?
Further aided by “bosses” who do not take responsibility… Bad.
Hope all is well peng yu?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for your contribution, peng yu. All is well. Hope everything is okay over your end too?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad to hear that. Yes we’re fine. We have a new granddaughter. Little Prince G. now has a little sister. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awww… so happy for you!! Family must be happy but tired with a newborn.
LikeLiked by 1 person
We as grandparents are all right. The parents are a bit tired. Very little sleep, and the eldest requires more attention… I’m picking him at school in a while. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah.. the older child will feel left out with the new addition in the family. Good on you to put in time to help out the parents.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s why we moved from the North of the city to the South where our daughter lives and where she and her husband both works. It was a practical move. And we’re happy to help. My wife brought him from school. He fell sound asleep in the car, and I just woke him to give him lunch. (He’s still a big baby sometimes) ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awwww… our children will always be babies in our eyes, no matter how old they get. Lol. It is so generous and kind of both you and your wife to chip in to help out.
LikeLike
And TBH he’s a charming bright boy. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Of course! Just like his grandpa!
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL. 😎
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for sharing . This needs to be recognized .
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for your comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your welcome!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bullism, i say this as a teacher is a sad problem
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very true.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
Yes, I’ve had mental health nurses with their self-important smiles…!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on worldtraveller70.
LikeLike