Last night, my hubby finally told me that I have been mumbling in my sleep. His statement was “You are a stay home mom, why are you so stressed out that you mumbled in your sleep?” The thing is that I am not stressed out. In fact, I never felt so invigorating in my life.
So what’s wrong?
The thing is that I have been juggling a lot on my plate. It’s not stressful, it’s just playing out different roles at the same time that gets to me sometimes. Besides being a mom, I am also a wife, a recruiter, a writer and a trying author. On top of those roles, I’m a cook, a cleaner, a teacher and a volunteer. That, already sounds like a mouthful.
Before this life, I have been single and a career woman. I only need to think about myself and my work. After work, I switched off to concentrate on taking care of myself. No such luxury in this life. I can’t switch off being a mom and a wife. These two roles are 24/7.
Everything needs planning. Every little time I have, it is spent wisely. My only indulgence everyday is to spend some time to write posts in MiddleMe. Even then, my brain is actively working.
I don’t know if I can go back to being just a Mother and a career woman. Knowing that this life I have already broke my boundaries and stretched my limits. I’ll need more to keep my juices flowing.
That’s the transition that nobody told me about. That I will take on so much and push myself so hard. That satisfaction is so overwhelming that I want more. The satisfaction feels so good and powerful that I have started to decline gifts from my husband because I have more than enough. I’m happy.
I’m happy that I get to slave over the stove for my family. I even cook my daughter’s and my family’s meal separately (due to different taste buds – my husband likes his food spicy and while my daughter gets her food zero spice).
I’m happy that I get to curl up in bed with a good book with my daughter curling up with hers during rainy season. (Yes, we love reading our own books together – I’m grooming a little bookworm in her.)
I’m happy that I get to choose the kind of projects I want to do. I have the power to decline jobs that doesn’t suit or challenge me.
I’m happy that I know I make my clients’ life better and I exceed their expectations.
I’m happy that I get to make little changes to the world by volunteering.
I’m happy that as I type in this post, my cats are purring at my lap.
That goes a long way from being stressed out. And I couldn’t see the same kind of happiness in a lot of people. Is it because they lack of passion in their life / work? Or is it that they can’t find contentment? Maybe the satisfaction is not there?
I know my brain is working on overdrive and that’s why I mumble in my sleep. But that beats sleeping while grinding my teeth, crying in my sleep and even sleepwalking when I was single and a career woman.
A big change, huh?
For more stories on how I transition to a successful freelancers, here goes:
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