I’m a 28-year-old guy and I have been working as a senior digital marketing executive for a local company for the past 6 years. In the looks department, I’d say I’m quite above average. Let’s just say I am not short of women throwing themselves at me for dates. Although I partied a lot, I have never been romantically involved with anyone. I have always thought that when I love someone, I’m going fall hard and it will be forever. With the exception of Sarah.
I knew Sarah from my college days. She was the one who got me my current job. Her father is the director of a fairly successful media company that has branches everywhere in the States.
My problem is I don’t know how to reject anyone. I know Sarah has always been in love with me. I have no intention of stringing her along and I have never given her any hopes that we will be romantically together.
Somehow, over the past 1 year, she considered herself as my girlfriend even though I have never held her hand. Sure, we have been out together but that’s what friends do anyways. Look, we have never even entered a cinema alone to watch a movie. The things we do when we are out are casual meals.
I have gotten myself into a rut when her father thought I am her boyfriend. He called me into his office and gave me a lecture on how to treat women right. I should have said something then but I didn’t. He proceeds to give me a promotion (that’s how I got the senior title) and threaten me that should I break his daughter’s heart, I’ll be jobless. My both hands are tied down with the financial burden, I have got a huge study loan to pay, I just place a hefty down payment for a new apartment and most importantly, I’m paying for my mother’s medical bills,
I just can’t lose my job. So I let it slide. Hoping that Sarah will lose interest in me if I continue to show indifference towards her.
Biggest mistake ever.
Over Easter, she invited me to a casual party at her family home. With the impression that everyone I worked with will be going as well, I showed up not knowing that she planned to announce our engagement. I couldn’t say anything, could I? Not in front of her 94 years old grandma!
I confronted her privately and she accused of me cheating on her! Her father got wind of our argument and almost threw me out of their house. Drama ensued at the workplace as well. My boss – her father will make snarky remarks during boardroom meetings and sometimes in front of our clients, putting me down and making me look dumb.
Oh, I want to quit so much. I want to throw my resignation letter in his face. I keep telling myself that I rather am in debt than to lose my freedom. But somehow I can’t make myself do it. Sarah isn’t a bad girl, perhaps I can grow to love her one day if that day isn’t today. She has always been a good friend. Friendship last longer than love and that’s good for a marriage, isn’t it?
I tried many times after our shocking engagement announcement to try telling Sarah my true feelings about her. I don’t think any went into her ears. I even tried one weekend not to answer her calls and choose to hide at home. The result is her father showing up and banging on my door. Sarah hadn’t eaten a single food ever since I went missing. I had to go and persuade her, coaxed her before she finally relented. After that episode, I fear what she will do if I break off our engagement on top of losing my job.
Sarah wants our wedding to be held at the end of this year. She has gleefully started planning her dream wedding and trying out bridal dresses. My future father-in-law has already announced to the company that I’ll be training as his successor beginning next year. I’m so deep in this mess, I can’t pull myself out of it. Even my parents are overjoyed that I am finally settled down with a nice sweet girl. My mother (blessed her heart) even gave Sarah her own wedding ring.
So there, I’m bound tightly by chains that I wasn’t even aware of them slinking over my body in the first place. I’m miserable, I’m sad but I can’t do anything to make it right. The only thing I’m grateful for is that I’m not in love with another girl. That will be too painful to bear. Perhaps, it is my fate that I will never taste love in my lifetime.
So is it okay for everyone around me to be happy while I stew in misery?
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