Falling in love with someone from work is a common trend, especially for those who work 9-5 jobs. If you compare the amount of time they spend at work than at home, it’s a given that these workers spend a lot of time with their co-workers. Thanks to this fact, some people can fall in love with their coworkers or find a deeper attraction to them.

But, falling in love at work does have its pros and cons that can affect your career and relationships. Some relationships can help the couple go beyond what they are capable of and stay together. Others often break apart, especially if their companies do not allow their relationships.

Careers are also at risk because of workplace romances and if the couple breaks apart, it can cause some pretty nasty complications.

Regardless of what rules your company has on workplace relationships, love can hit at any moment. But, why is it that we fall in love with our colleagues?

Proximity is the reason!

The major reason why we find it easy to fall in love with our colleagues is because of the proximity work provides. We spend a lot of time at work in small spaces. We are also divided into teams or departments filled with people who have different personalities.

Even if they are our complete opposite, the proximity we have with them will open doors for us to discover what interests they have that you may share as we interact with them.

We also find it easier to share information with one another thanks to proximity. Even if we struggle to do this at first, proximity will push us to reach out to them and start talking.

As we share information and become confident with the way we interact with them, we get ideas on how they react to information and situations.

In turn, you can find ways to break down their defenses and become closer to them. Of course, this will take time but proximity will make things easier the longer you work with them.

Proximity also helps us talk to people we may not have met anywhere. Work brings in different people, which allows these meetings to happen.

If you look for these types of people offline, you may find it very difficult to do. Your confidence will also take a hit because you can’t find anyone that shares your passions or work experience outside your office spaces.

What should you do if you do fall in love?

When you do fall in love with your colleague thanks to the close proximity, don’t forget about your career.

If you plan to pursue your crush, see if they share the same feelings and do not pursue if they don’t share the same interest. You should also look at the rules of your company regarding work relationships to see how they will react.

Remember, your career may be at risk if your work doesn’t allow your romances. This can be tricky because while you don’t want to miss the lifetime chance that your coworker may be your Mr or Mrs Right, you don’t want to be left without a job the next day.

Tips:

  • Try keeping dating a secret until you are sure of each other and want to take the next step of exclusivity.
  • Check around if there are existing relationships in the workplace. You may want to seek their advice on how to balance healthy workplace relationship and work productivity.
  • Check your company’s policy on relationship in your workplace. If unsure, talk to HR or your boss without implicating yourself.
  • Even your relationship is out in the open, keep a low profile and do not draw unnecessary attention that you are dating someone in the same company.
  • Absolutely no PDA aka Public Display Affection in the workplace.

Love can pop up in unexpected places and unexpected time. Nobody expect to find their soulmates at the place they worked but sometimes, they do. However, sometimes these relationships can turned nasty. The best thing to do is to try to draw a line as thick as you can between work and love.

Trying to survive in workplace relationships? Here are some articles to help you:
10 Ways to Improve Your Workplace Relationships
Guest Post: Networking As An Introvert
How Do You Handle Malicious Gossip?

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25 replies on “Why Do We Fall in Love with Our Coworkers

    1. So true. It puts your relationship into a spotlight for others at work to judge you. However, love is not something we can control. If someone felt very strongly about another person, even in the workplace, it may be just right.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. This was interesting, and it does makes sense since your seeing the same people day in day out and spending at least 8 hours stuck in working in proximity. So as life in general that proximity can lead to romance (also hatred) and maybe a fruitful relationship. No wonder I have no girlfriend, I jump from job to job wherever I can find them, it might be doing this or that for a couple of hours or maybe just one hour, or some days 12 hours, depends the economy in Spain is worst than bad so it´s hard to find a stable job. And here is very normal for people to pay you in “black money” for your work, meaning that you don’t declare it to the IRS and at the same time you are getting a paycheck by the government for being unemployed. Spanish way it seems, not a good way but since it is my country and I am stuck here I have to adapt to this system to survive.

    The point is that I have to sue the government for mishandling the economy so more than 13% unemployed official figures( non official the real ones it´s probably in the 20´s%)j with means it makes it extremely hard with my skills to find a stable job hence I have no chance of a relationship that would lead to marriage that would lead to having kids that would lead to living a happy happy life forever. So I´ll just sue the government for diminishing and insulting my moral values and happiness.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for sharing!!.. I believe the heart has the answer…. 🙂

    When Is The Right Time, One Would Ask….

    To climb a mountain
    To fly a plane,
    To hug a friend
    To run naked in the rain.

    To stand up tall
    To make your thoughts known,
    To blend with a crowd
    To go it alone.

    To till the field
    To sow the seeds of peace and more,
    To pen a poem of love
    To write a musical score.

    To take this path
    To maybe take the other,
    To open ones heart
    To share it with another.

    Today, tomorrow perhaps?
    The answer is in the heart, you see,
    So when is the right time, one asks?
    When your heart wishes for it to be..

    ( Larry “Dutch” Woller ).

    Liked by 1 person

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