Hello Kally,

I wished I have contacted you for different reasons other than I no longer can put up the shit one of my co-workers have been giving me for the past few months.

That evil bitch has been usurping me at every single meeting. She even threw me under the bus a couple of times, undermining me at every chance she gets. I swear she deliberately leaves out messages by customers that are supposed to pass on to me. When I confronted her, she acts all innocently and refused to be in the same room as me.

I’m so furious right now that I can’t even type properly. Just this morning, she presented an idea of mine as her very own. An idea that I have been working on for weeks. A trusted colleague revealed to me that he has seen her snooping around my desk last night. I can’t betray his confidentiality by dragging him into the limelight. So no, I can’t ask him to be a witness and stand by me as I confront her for the million times.

You see, I like to solve my own problem. I don’t take shit from anyone. I don’t like running to my boss like a baby crying to her mother. But it is seriously getting depressing to go to work.

So should I tell someone? Am I considered a tattletale?

Help me before I go bald! (Been tearing my hair in frustration!)

Thank you,
Aria P

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Hi Aria,

Oooo… you must have so much anger inside you right now! Breathe, girl, breathe.

Okay, let’s solve your problem once and for all, shall we? First of all, you are not a baby, you are an adult and your co-worker is the one who is acting like a child. Best work is always done together as a team. A successful company has no place for individuality. Everyone needs to pull in their strengths. So since she is the child who is being childish at your workplace, of course, it is right to put her in her place.

You tried way too many times to resolve this on your own but it has been falling to deaf ears. What you need to do now is to show her you mean business. Don’t go blindly to your boss, you’ll just sound like you are whining, without the ability to cope with co-working relationships. Gather time, instances, examples where you are put in an uncomfortable position during meetings. Show your boss the results of her inability to pass on important messages to you and the impact on customers. Tell your boss how you feel and ask him to sit in your next meeting.

Let him know that if this continues, you will need to seek advice from HR. You cannot allow yourself to be bullied by a co-worker. Yes, this is what she is, a workplace bully. And this is harassment. By targeting you and you alone, she is harassing you without a valid reason. Don’t let her get away with it or else, she might find another victim once she is unable to abuse you. Call out her actions in public. A bully will only feel powerful if he or she demean someone.

Hopefully, you will take my advice and not let this abuse affect you any longer. Take care.

Regards,
Kally@MiddleMe.net

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Need more advice on how to deal with bullies at work? Here are some tips that might help you:
A Word Of Advice: I’m Being Singled Out
A Word of Advice: My manager won’t let me take leave

 

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