Hi Kally,
I have a problem at the workplace. This colleague of mine has recently been transferred to my department and has been nonstop asking me out on dates.
Everyone in my department knows that I am happily engaged since last year and I have made it very clear to him this fact. I have turned him down several times and told him in his face I am not interested in going out with him. But he hasn’t back down once.
Last week, I had to work late in the office because I need to rush out a deadline. He actually stayed back and watched me from afar (he made sure I am aware of his presence) until I got the creeps and leave the workplace without completing my job. I have caught him following me outside of my office during lunch hour twice. Luckily, those times I wasn’t alone.
I don’t feel safe around him. He has been giving slanting looks. Now I try my best not to work late in the office and even asked my fiancé to fetch me from work from time to time.
What else do you think I should do? I don’t want to leave my job because of him.
Thanks.
Sincerely,
Joy E.
Dear Joy,
Oh dear, you have a stalker in the midst. You need to report this to your supervisor and HR if you haven’t done so.
Another method is to reject him publicly in front of your colleagues instead in private. Make sure that your closest colleagues are aware of your situation and not let you be alone with him. Hopefully, this embarrassment will make him back away and not harass you further.
Nobody should feel unsafe in the workplace and more so, not to be harassed by any colleagues. Please do not hesitate to report upwards so someone (either your boss or the HR) can help to mitigate the situation. Make sure that both your boss and HR are aware that you will not hesitate to bring in the police if the harassment do not cease.
Depending on your company’s policy, he will either get a warning letter or even be transferred elsewhere. If anyone should leave their job, it should be him and not you. You don’t deserve this.
Meanwhile, do make sure you are never alone with him and always leave the office in groups. If possible, don’t stay in the office too late and bring any backlog work home so you can work in the safety of your home.
If need be, confide in your fiancé and your neighbours and asked them to help to keep an eye out for you. If he does confront you outside of your workplace, threaten to go to the police. If you still don’t feel safe, go ahead and log a police report. It’s better to err on the side than to risk your safety.
Be safe and take care.
From,
Kally@MiddleMe.net
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At my last job there was a guy on my team that liked our manager like that. He ended up getting fired. Good advice.
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Thanks for sharing this with us.
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Sad
Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone
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1. Tell him to back off as rudely and as publicly as you can.
2. Report it to the Supervisor and the HR at the earliest.
3. Start carrying a pepper spray and a pocket knife.
4. Report him to the police if the situation seems to worsen.
5. DO NOT BE IGNORANT OR LAX AT ALL.
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Important advice. Thanks for sharing these points.
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You are welcome friend. Never choose to be bullied.
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Totally agree with Kally and OneLife. Enough red flags to take this very seriously!
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So sad that you have to go through this! I experienced a similar thing and I told him to back off numerous times.. never listened so I actually reported him to my manager… told him how much it is making me wanna quit my job! You got this girl! I’d defo consider buying some pepper spray tho just incase! Xx
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Thank you for sharing your experiences. Lucky for you that you have a supportive manager to take care of you!
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Aw girl I hope everything works out for you xxx
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Oh,this poor woman. You provided her with some excellent advice albeit I wouldn’t say “threaten to go to the police.” She should definitely alert the police,stalkers are very unstable individuals.
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Thanks for your input. And yes, stalkers are creepy!!
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No one should have to put up with unwanted attention while they are trying to do their job (or ever). Going to the supervisor and possibly HR is the smart move.
A company I worked at years ago here in the U.S. was found guilty of not protecting an employee and received a substantial judgment against it by the court. There was a manager who liked one of the employees and was behaving inappropriately — he even showed up at her house ringing the doorbell one. She reported his actions to the company but management didn’t take the appropriate action, so the employee sued the stalker and the company for harassment and creating a hostile work environment. The company learned the hard way not to take these situations lightly.
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I encountered some uncomfortable situations at work as well. I let the managers and supervisors know immediately so that they will be aware. They moved that individual into a different department, but eventually was fired.
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Thank you sharing your experiences with us. It was great that your superiors trusted you.
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