A Word Of Advice: I’m Being Singled Out

Hi Kally!

How have you been? Let me jump right into my problem. You see, a new manager has just joined the company and he has been assigned to lead my team. While under his leadership, we are able to work effectively and efficiently and our productivity numbers are up. That’s really great! Our management is so pleased with our numbers that it is promised that we’ll all get a big fat bonus in April if we continue to be that good.

My problem is that my new manager likes to single me out. He likes to call me out on lunch hour, perceiving to hear my thoughts on certain work-related subjects. None of my team members gets invited at all, only me.

He likes to use me as a leading example during meetings as well. Comparing my work attitude and my numbers to those who are doing lesser than I am. He also likes to single me out to do overtime on work that is rushing on deadlines. If I stayed overtime, he stays overtime. No matter how late I stayed, he stayed the same hours as well.

This makes me uncomfortable. And it isolated me from my team members whom some of them have noticed it and started teasing me about the attention I have been receiving from him. I need to emphasize that he hasn’t been inappropriate towards me, all these have been truly work-related. We have never get into personal chit-chats or anything personal in my life or his.

There is this huge project that has been assigned to our team and it provides an opportunity for one of us to go with our manager to another country for training for a week. Everyone is excited about this golden opportunity and tries very hard not to show their enthusiasm. My manager took me aside on the day he announced the news of this project and told me that I am selected and to prepare for the training. He hasn’t officially announced to the team yet and the trip is in one month’s time.

I feel like a hypocrite every time a team member tells me how much they want to go and I have to pretend that I don’t know I am the one going. I hate myself. And I hate my manager for doing this to me.

I don’t know if I should confront him and tell him that I am uncomfortable. I don’t want to spoil my chances to go for this training but yet, it does seem that he is showing favouritism towards me. I shouldn’t be complaining right?

Help me out as I am on the fence here.


Alicia S.

Hi Alicia,

Thank you for sharing your problem with me. It might seem that you are encountering a common problem, however, this time you are on the ‘benefiting’ side.

As you emphasize that this new manager’s actions are solely work related and he hasn’t misbehaved around you. The overseas training, the overtime work, the exclusive lunches about your opinions lead me to have a strong inkling that he or upper management might have earmarked you as leadership material. This is an awkward period where he might not be feeling confident about your capabilities or he might be waiting for confirmation from his superiors before he can reveal his actual intentions.

Before you jump the gun, I suggest that you sit on tight and wait it out after the overseas training is completed. He might show his cards to you when you both are removed from the office environment during your abroad stint. If you are not made of a potential material, no matter how bias he can be, it’s hard to persuade the company to sponsor a week’s training overseas.

That being said, if you are still feeling uncomfortable, it is always good to have a chat with your manager. You should never be made to feel uncomfortable in a workplace. Perhaps your manager did not realize that he is overdoing it and unintentionally created a problem for you. Remember, a manager is here to guide and mentor you hence you should feel that he is the go-to person whenever you have issues at a workplace.

Meanwhile, be excited about the new opportunity ahead and not let this damper your learning spirit!


Can’t get enough of MiddleMe? You can find me sharing my thoughts here as well: 
Instagram @kallymiddleme
Twitter  (MiddleMe_net)
FaceBook (MiddleMe.net)
LinkedIn linkedin.com/in/kallytay

Best things in life are meant to be shared, start spreading MiddleMe around, after all, sharing is caring.


17 Comments Add yours

  1. You have good insight into her situation. It’s easy to surmise that attention masks an ulterior motive, and sometimes it does. I hope she is one who is genuinely being groomed for success, and not groomed for being a mistress.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Kally says:

      Let’s keep our fingers cross. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. reemasandhu says:

    Highly appreciate your attitude by positive node.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kally says:

      Thank you and welcome to MiddleMe!


      1. reemasandhu says:

        My pleasure dear 🌸

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Advanced Research Technology says:

    Great advice! Did you want the “I’m am” in the title?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Kally says:

      Oops! That’s what lack of sleep will do to you… going to get that corrected now.. thanks for the alert!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Advanced Research Technology says:

        You’re welcome. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. 3C Style says:

    Great advice Kally. if I ever need advices regarding a work problem I will definitely turn to you. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kally says:

      Thank you so much. I always try to lend a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. 😊

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Patty says:

    Again, good advice, Kally 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kally says:

      Thank you, Patty. Xoxoxoxo

      Liked by 1 person

  6. reocochran says:

    I agree with your answer, Kally. Take advantage of this to be able to get the overseas training and extra paycheck, too. Overtime needs to be rewarded so hopefully, he is respecting this person’s work ethic! 🛩 This trip could be the biggest opportunity ever!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kally says:

      Totally! The last I have heard from this person is that she is accepting the training overseas. So good for her!


Share Your Thoughts Here

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s