We all go through life sometimes questioning ourselves whether we are doing something right. Whether we are being true to ourselves, whether we are doing our best, whether we are happy.
Sometimes, we doubt that we are truly happy. I mean, we may appear happy to others, we do sound happy and we think we feel happy. Are we? Or aren’t we?
Are we living life the fullest? Are we doing a job we love? Is this the career I want to pursue for the rest of my life? Am I passionate? Or am I just deluding myself? Over a paycheck. Over job security. Over putting food on the table for my family.
That’s a lot of questions and a lot of doubts. I do it too, everyone does it. Self-doubting. Whether you did a great presentation in the meeting today or you deserve that promotion or that long detailed email that you struggled to make it right for your CEO. And we often beat ourselves over it.
The question is how do you stop self-doubting? Or even self-blaming? I don’t think you can. You can try your darnest but in the end, the feeling will just creep up on you. If you allow yourself to self-doubt further, you can get depressed and start questioning your self-worth. I have my own doubts too. I counter it by asking myself a simple question “Have I give it my best shot?”
I know if I have given my best shot at the task, I know I’ve given my all. No regrets, no reservations. And I know I couldn’t do much at that point to give even more. In Chinese, there is a saying “无怨无悔” and it means no complaints and no regrets. I live my life by that motto – personal or work-related. You can imagine not everyone reciprocates my efforts in putting everything I’ve got into the project especially during a team effort. Co-workers might think that I am being a perfectionist or a bull slamming my head against the wall when in fact, I will not rest until I give it my best shot.
That is how I erase my self-doubts whenever it pops up and makes me uncomfortable. Sure, it is a useful instinct to check and balance the quality of our lives and actions. But too much dosage of it, it can really drag you down.
From one of my favourite drama series, Boston Legal, quoting Danny Crane: “From time to time he’d look in the mirror and ask, “What’s the point?” I never do that. Questions like that’ll kill you. What’s the point? You don’t ask — that’s the point.”
Share your thoughts on this with us in the comments below. I love to hear your opinion on self-doubts whether it is in your career or your personal life.
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