It’s not! It’s last week. I usually shunned announcing my birthdays because I don’t think my birthdays are such a big deal, and I also tend to self-reflect on my birthdays a lot. Have I saved the world today? Am I a good person? Did I max my time on earth? Have I done myself proud this year?

While I strongly encourage self-reflecting every once in a while, these questions can have a negative toll on me, and I think I placed myself too many expectations.

This year I stopped asking myself these questions. I still self-reflect, of course. But I did it using a different approach. I start asking myself these: What else have I not done? What else can I do in another year’s time? When will my next adventure be? How can I create to make this moment epic & awesome?

So instead of self-blaming and looking back on the past to correct my mistakes, I look forward to believing that as long as I am alive, I can change the way I live. So yes, if you are miserable today, you don’t have to be tomorrow; the power to control is in your hands.

Sure, you have restrictions that don’t allow you to make the change immediately, but that does not mean you can’t start with a small step today. One small step today, a hundred steps in a month, may put enough distance between you and the toxic lifestyle that allows you to give it up for good and work towards healing yourself.

I’ll take my birthday last week to provide an example. My older daughter is down with pneumonia, with the possibility that she may need to be hospitalised on my birthday. Yes, it is painful to see the little body wracked with high fever and coughing fits. Yes, the nights were long, where I took turns with her father to soothe her from her bad dreams. Yes, it stretched our patience as we spent the entire two days waiting for a diagnosis at A&E.

I did not blame myself. What could I do to prevent her from falling sick? Put her in an air bubble? Isolate her? Prevent her from going to school? Shift the blame on the teachers for allowing her to mingle with the sick kids?

Instead, I choose to focus on looking forward to her recovery. I told the little one we would plan a special day for the family when she gets better. My husband surprised us with a nice lunch at a neighbourhood restaurant and a candle on top of a slice of cake on the actual day. To me, this is better than having to dress up and travel to town (juggling a young toddler and a newborn in a fancy restaurant or constantly worrying if the grandparents are managing them) to have some steak at astronomical prices.

Focus on the little things and make little steps to change your life. It’s time for me to smell the roses I planted many years ago and appreciate every gesture. I wish for nothing but the stars, and if I do get the moon, it will be a delightful surprise. And if not, I’m blissfully dancing with the stars in my life.

Here are some of my thoughts about Change in life:
Change
A Word of Advice: Don’t be Scare of Change
Are you cowering from change?

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43 replies on “It’s Not My Birthday Today

  1. Belated Happy Birthday Kally. You are right, blaming does not help, nad looking in the past either. Looking forward and look for the little things! Wishing you daughter the very best with her recovery!
    Big hugs to all your family! Keep well and reach for the stars!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I read this carefully, and then re-read it. It says so much about how you’ve matured over the years. I’m sure your daughter will be fine, I had pneumonia as a child when there were no good antibiotics around… Best wishes to you and all your loved ones …

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You know what? This comment coming from you is so apt! You’ve watched me grown from a new writer to now a mother of 2 children. I definitely have mellow and matured over the years. Thank you for your well wishes, Bea!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Well, Kally, like the Mad Hatter in Alice Through the Looking Glass, let me wish you a Happy Unbirthday TODAY! After all, we only get one day per year for our Birthday, so we can wish you a Happy Unbirthday 364 other days of the year! And I hope you have many, many Happy Unbirthdays this year!!
    Praying not only for you, but for your husband, your other littler one and the one fighting pneumonia.
    ❤️&🙏, c.a.

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  4. So sorry to hear about that. But I love your attitude towards it. There’s no point in blaming, and the best thing to do is to focus on what you can do from here on out. Thanks for being an inspiring and sharing. Speedy recovery to your daughter. And also, happy belated birthday!

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  5. Take care of your daughter, and focus on recovery. Little ones have better immune than adults, so stay strong 👍 and.. Belated Birthday wishes Kally 💐✨

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  6. Thank you for sharing!!… a belated Happy Birthday, hope the day and all your presents were filled with love and happiness!!.. hope your daughter is on the mend and as for beginnings “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
    ( Maria Robinson ).. 🙂

    Hope all is well in your world and until we meet again…
    May love and laughter light your days,
    and warm your heart and home.
    May good and faithful friends be yours,
    wherever you may roam.
    May peace and plenty bless your world
    with joy that long endures.
    May all life’s passing seasons
    bring the best to you and yours!
    (Irish Saying)

    Like

  7. LOVE EVERYTHING YOU SAID ITS LIKE YOU WERE IN MY MIND LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF AND ACCEPT MYSELF FOR WHO I AM HAS BEEN HARD AFTER MANY YEARS OFF PLEASING OTHERS I HAD FORGOTTEN WHO I REALLY AM . AND I KNOW I CAN BE BETTER BUT IM GOOD ENOUGH FOR WHO I AM TODAY

    Liked by 1 person

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