Hi MMers, 

A big thank you for everyone’s blessings and well wishes on our incoming addition to the family. I felt very loved surrounded by friends who care not only in real life but also in the WordPress blogosphere. 

Another significant appreciation comes from the fact that I am given choices to choose how I manage my pregnancy journey because I’m a freelancer. Besides working on projects that I have passion for, I control how much I want to work, what I want to work and when I want to work. 

During my first trimester, due to the continuous toilet bowl hugging ritual, every time something went down my throat, I was ordered to be on bed rest. If I’m in a regular job, I will need to use all my medical leave allowances.

Sure, my salary will be covered during those days, and I will have medical insurance too, but I’ll probably lie in bed worrying about the piling work on my desk or the increasing incoming emails. I will worry about the meetings I’ve missed. I will constantly be badging my colleagues for updates yet feeling the enormous guilt of not pulling my weight in my team and letting everyone down. I will worry about not being able to cope when I eventually return to work. 

Do I have similar worries as a freelancer? Not really. I fear that I will lose my clients, but most of them are my regulars, we’ve worked together well, and I understand their expectations. I usually give myself enough buffer period to finish my work to work bits and pieces whenever I mustered enough strength to sit upon my bed.

Moreover, I can decline work that isn’t urgent, and my clients are happy to wait until I get better. Sure, I don’t get any income if I don’t take on assignments, but for me, it’s a fair trade for the stress I don’t need, especially right now. 

Meanwhile, I get to collect some snippets from fellow pregnant mums who are holding a full-time job and share with you here to illustrate what I mean: 

I was pregnant with my second child pretty much right away after giving birth to my firstborn. I had to endure unkind comments from my team whenever I need to take time off to see my gynaecologist every month. We required the salary, so I endured all the abuses. Somehow, I think they contributed to my postpartum depression. 
– Jamie, Admin Support 

I was ordered bed rest for the first three months by my obgyn, but my boss still asks me to rush my assignments. I couldn’t refuse because my boss kept hinting my bonus depends on those assignments. I almost ended up with a miscarriage, but luckily, the baby survived. I quit my job after my baby turned one year old.
– Samantha, Storage Manager

I love my job, but my workplace is very far from home. I had to take buses to commute two hours each way. The buses are often packed with no available seats, and I need to stand on my feet until I reach my destination. It gets difficult when I was in my last month of pregnancy. I was suffering from backaches all the time. 
– Joanna, Store Assistant

My supervisor made sarcastic comments during my pregnancy even though I didn’t take any time off. The comments worsen during my third trimester until my colleague reported her to HR. She made our working environment so toxic that nobody wants to work with her anymore.
– Jenna, Accountant

My manager and his wife were trying to have a baby for years, but nothing, not even IVF work for them. His wife came to the office and brought me out to lunch one day. During lunch, she offered to “buy” my baby. Seriously. She wrote a check and slid it across the table, like in the movies. I’m disgusted. I left the restaurant and went straight home. My manager refused to talk to me or address the issue until I came back from my maternity leave, and he pretended nothing like that has ever happened. 
– Diana, Secretary 

I suffered from a poor back since young. However, during my pregnancy, the pain was much, much worse. I couldn’t take any leave during holiday seasons and was tasked to stock up the shelves. My back got so bad that I had to visit the hospital when I couldn’t get out of bed. My supervisor thought I was bluffing that he calls the hospital, only to find out that I will be out of work the entire length from Christmas to New Year. 
– Evie, Supermarket Assistant

I lost my promotion to another colleague because of my pregnancy. We had a major client to win over. Both of us are assigned to fly over to wine and dine him. I couldn’t fly due to airline regulations, so my colleague went alone. He got the client and a big promotion. I got nothing, although I did a lot of groundwork research. It’s like my effort didn’t matter just because I couldn’t be there at the right time. While I’m still in the same company, I’m still bloody sore about that 5 years later. 
– Aviva, Project Manager

With these stories and many more that cross my path, I am fortunate that I get to choose what I love to do and get rewarded tremendously for it. That I get to sleep in late whenever I feel like it. I don’t have to squeeze with the crowd (especially during Covid times, and my immunity is low). That I don’t have to be on my feet, hurrying to somewhere. It’s a big deal when your body is creating a human life! 

Ending this post, I like to ask and let you ponder: what are you appreciative of in your life? 

Until the next time…

Sincerely,


Kally@MiddleMe.net

54 replies on “September is The Month of Appreciation

  1. What a great honest post Kally and that toilet hugging is certainly no fun at all. I’m so glad you’re able to call the shots and rest as needed. I too was lucky to have my own bus when I got pregnant and take off when need be. A year and a half after I opened the studio, I got pregnancy induce asthma (only 1 % of the population get it) and I couldn’t teach at all. LONG story here. I was so grateful for that. Hope you have turned a corner. 💖💖💖🙏🙏🙏

    Liked by 3 people

  2. 💜 YOU!!! THINK!!! This is BAD!!! just wait until the little brat is a teenager; even worse, has six siblings of similar age…seriously though, congratulations; please accept My Best Wishes to YOU!!! and ALL YOUR!!! Family SupaSoulSis

    …💛💚💙…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You are blessed wiht the work situation you are in. Unfortunately not the toiletbowl hugging…. it will ease off I hope soon. In these circumstances it is great to be your own boss and choose about work and set priorities. Do take care and stay in bed if you need to. Look after yourself, health is the most important thing for you and your baby.
    My first pregnancy while working:
    I have to say I had really good pregnancies. Working while I was pregnant the first time, I was sent home early often as all my colleagues were looking after me well. If I was slow or made a small mistake they all said ‘ don’t worry you are pregnant. ‘ I could get away with a lot but I did not use it to be lazy, I still wanted to do my job well as I was always a conscientious worker. This was however 28 years ago and working life has changed since then. We were a working “family” and looked out for each other. I look back and am grateful for the bosses and my colleagues then. We had a great time, I always remember with joy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! Pregnancies are really not easy. The Chinese have an old saying: giving birth is like having one foot in The Coffin. It’s morbid but also accurately describes how science hasn’t advanced much for child birth. There’s lots of unknown in this area.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. How very true.
        We live in the UK. My daughter is a qualified mid-wife (In the UK, the person who aids the mother and child during child birth) In her 10 years of duty she seen and learnt a great deal, and still there are those unknown factors. She’s also had a few babies named after her.😀
        Best wishes.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Congratulations, Kally! So happy and excited for you! I assume this is your first? Anyway, do take extra care, my dear. I look forward to your future tales on parenting. Cheers to you and your hubby! To exciting parenty times ahead.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. How wonderful that you’ll have an addition to your family, congratulations. Some of the comments that you posted about the experiences of pregnant women are so unkind and even insane. Just when you think women have made progress things like this happen. Let’s hope Karma teaches them a lesson. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Vanya. No, it is not fun. Not all pregnancy are about glowing skin, glowing hair and smiles. Especially you know you need to force yourself to eat so both you and your little one get some kind of nutrients. Yesterday, I had to get up at 3am to hug the toilet bowl until 4am. The positive part I tell myself I’m halfway there!!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. My son, now 39 years old, was born prematurely at 2lbs-4oz (1.02 kg) and was only 11-3/4 inches long (29.9cm)! It was amazing the care and devotion of the medical staff at Providence Women and Infants’ Hospital where he was born, and even more so what they were able to do to empower him to go home after three months in their care. He was about a week old before even his mother or I was allowed to hold him, and that was with incubator gloves in his ‘box.’
    Reading your story just brought back a flood of wonderful memories of his birth and childhood. Praying daily for you and your family, your friend always, c.a.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your blessings, CA Post. 1.02kg is really tiny. You and your wife must be so worried then. I’m so glad that all is well and your son grows up to be healthy and happy.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Thank you for sharing!!.. congratulations and hope all goes well !.. as for me, I appreciate the fact that I can wake up on the green side of the grass and live life filled with many adventures, cherishing each day because it will not come again… 🙂

    Until we meet again..
    May flowers always line your path
    and sunshine light your way,
    May songbirds serenade your
    every step along the way,
    May a rainbow run beside you
    in a sky that’s always blue,
    And may happiness fill your heart
    each day your whole life through.
    (Irish Saying)

    Like

  8. Congratulations Kally! You’re right. When you work for yourself, then you definitely don’t have all of the pressures of society weighing you down. I’m grateful that I work mostly from home, even pre-pandemic.

    Like

  9. congrats on your baby and woo hoo!
    also – there is independence from free lancing that some people need more than others and glad it works so well for you! some folks who value “security” more cannot take the ups and downs and risks that come with freelancing

    on a side note – i am appalled by the snippets you shared – hopefully people know that discrimination in the workplace can be brought to HR
    and i am shocked that any boss would hint that a bonus was on the line related to anything around pregnant stages or newborn weekend!!
    is this really happening so much in 2021??
    i ask because i know in true late 1990s when i worked during both of my pregnancies – i was catered to in an over the top way – i saw it more in hindsight but it was like both times there was proactive measures taken to extra ensure i was not mistreated

    and so this post disturbs me greatly to think that abuse went on or occurs so much
    hopefully this is not the norm and i know if many instances where paid time off has been increased to allow for mom and dad to both have time at home with newborn
    and also many examples of expecting moms being offered more beaks and other accommodations during their pregnancy –

    Liked by 1 person

    1. While many mums are protected by laws and regulations, there are still loopholes that some slipped under, unnoticed. Yes, it is not the norm and hopefully, many will learn to stand up for what’s right,

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Good luck with your new family member. I’d have to say I’m most appreciative that my teacher pension combined with my wife’s similar stipend allows us the freedom to travel throughout the year in retirement. That’s what my blog intends to communicate.

    Like

  11. The experiences you shared are discouraging, Kally. I have a feeling that if men got pregnant, they’d be treated more respectfully. I’m glad you were more fortunate despite the toilet bowl hugging ritual. (That made me laugh). Congrats on the new baby!

    Liked by 1 person

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