*As told to Kally from someone who wishes to be anonymous
I know I need help. I have problems controlling my anger. I tried very hard, I did. But little things trigger me off so easily.
My anger is selective too. I have no issue when I’m with my friends. Neither do I blow up at home with my family. Maybe because I’m hardly at home. When I am at home, my wife is working on shifts, sometimes pulling double shifts because she works in the Emergency Department at a public hospital.
It is when I am at work; my anger is almost uncontrollable. I worked in a small trading firm with 30 staff reporting under me. My boss is often absent at work, leaving another partner running the place and me. The partner doesn’t give a hoot about employees or benefits. He is selfish like that. The burden is on me to make sure we are profitable every month and pay everyone’s salary on time.
I have no time for fools, laziness or office politics. I will lashes out at the slightest mistake. I will kick chairs, throw files and slam doors. I will scream with profanity until I break someone down. I lost count on how many coworkers have cried because of me. Some have left because of me. I never felt bad about it. To me, if you can survive me, you can survive anything. I expect perfection when it comes to working. If you cannot be your best at work, don’t come in at all. That’s kind of like my motto.
Last year, I almost assaulted another coworker. Still, luckily, I was stopped by other coworkers, and the incident died down during the lockdown period when everyone had to work from home. I think everyone was glad that they are away from the office, mainly me.
I did use this time to do some reflection and signed up for some online anger management classes. To be honest, the lessons did nothing for me. I wasn’t angry when I’m relaxed and at home. Even when I confided with my wife and my best buddy, they were surprised. They didn’t think I had it in me to shout at anyone, let alone get into fights or throw chairs across the meeting room.
I am aware that I have made the office a terrible place to work in. I am probably the abusive boss that nobody likes and everyone fears. I’m not sure how I feel about that. Nope, I don’t feel guilty at all. I think my staff are inadequate and that I’m pissed off to be working with them. Whenever my thoughts cross to work, I can feel my pressure rising to a boil.
Before anyone starts calling the police on me, I fully acknowledge I have a problem here. My office just announced that they would reopen the office for everyone to come back to work again next week. This time, I won’t be going back. Instead, I am going to an anger management camp and starting regular therapy session with a psychiatrist.
By writing to you all here in MiddleMe, I’m putting my intentions into words so I can push myself forward to solidify my words into actions. I know the journey will not be easy, but I know it’s mine to conquer.
Wish me luck!
For more Whisper stories, check out these:
Whisper: In Love With My Boss
Whisper: I’m 38 And I Still Live With My Parents
Whisper: I sabotaged my one of my staff’s career
Can’t get enough of MiddleMe? You can find me sharing my thoughts here as well:
Instagram @kallymiddleme
Twitter (MiddleMe_net)
FaceBook (MiddleMe.net)
LinkedIn linkedin.com/in/kallytay
MiddleMe 
It must be very difficult, good luck!
LikeLiked by 5 people
He needs all the luck he can get, for sure.
LikeLiked by 1 person
oh my… you are wrecking other people’s lives and enjoy it … stop it because only you can or leave … you sound like a real bully … it will catch up with you, if not already… you’ll get sacked and poor references, especially now that you’re heading for a diagnosis of personality disorder … your wife will leave you and your friends will disappear… alcoholism, drug misuse, misery and loneliness are waiting for you…I bet you’re not prepared for that but then maybe you are… who will you blame…
LikeLiked by 4 people
thank you for your likes although there’s not much to actually like in these scenario’s…. tough love… to cut through the pain is pleasure caricatures and archetypes at play here … Google the term ‘control drama’s’ for more on the subject…. I have found that we don’t necessarily know that our very being has become so alienated and disassociated that we are merely products to be used and disposed of…. Kally, is if course right to encourage people to stay the journey… I write in the knowing that for decades I was being bought as a persona non grata product for the political ends of others I’d like to think I’d stand against… increased social complexity brings strange hybrids to life….be careful out there… if the words used here don’t have an echo listening to the Eurythmics, Sweet Dreams may…. how old is this song now… tough terrain… Great Post Kally, hope you are taking care of yourself too.
LikeLike
Good luck dear . You are brave heart already 🤗
LikeLiked by 3 people
He needs all the luck and blessings for this journey.
LikeLiked by 1 person
All the best love! Sending lots of love and positive vibes! ♥♥
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thanks. He needs all the luck and blessings for this journey.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I understand, Hope you’re well too ♥♥
LikeLiked by 3 people
The first step is always admitting you have a problem, as our troubled soul has done here. The next step(s) are trying to do something about it, which they have mentioned. I am quietly optimistic they will turn things around because of these two important steps. It will never be easy, because those flash moments will bubble up. When they do, being able to acknowledge what is going on ( do I feel glad or sad?, or do I feel mad or sad right now?) and talking the issue through once they have identified how they are feeling with those who matter most will avert a cataclysmic outcome e.g. I am actually feeling bad because of how my colleagues are being treated. I am not mad at them, but I do feel bad right now regarding how I have reacted because of what is going on. Once the penny starts to drop, they can then work out how to take a deep breath, calm down, forgive themselves and recover the situation.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thanks for sharing your experiences and thoughts. He needs all the luck and blessings for this journey.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hello, you are a little too under pressure, I wish you a good job to get out of anger.
LikeLiked by 3 people
This is very seriously. Professinal help may be needed to get a grip on yourself. My anger is mostly to the computer wich is very slow most of the time or makes mistakes. It is probably time to by a new faster one.
But getting angry at poeple all the the time is not a good thing.
LikeLiked by 3 people
💜 Well Done Anonymous; very good, carry on and ignore The Naysayers who ARE Mostly Passive Aggressive…at least YOU!!! Have Admitted, Acknowledged and Addressed YOUR!!! MMHI (Multiple Mental Health Issues) while They, In Denial, Pretend To Be Sane Saints; just keep on Truckin’ with Therapy while They Eventually Crash and Burn
…💛💚💙…
LikeLiked by 2 people
💜 I Bullied My Boss and He Bullied Me Back; that Fight was Ultimately Won by Me…it doesn’t make Me Proud; most of The Comments Here ARE Constructive and Supportive of Anonymous who has taken The Courageous Step of Seeking Mental Health Help and I Suggest The Passive Aggressive Critics Here Do The Same
…💛💚💙…
LikeLiked by 1 person
💜 Judgemental People who, by Default, Destructively Criticise Others Seeking Mental Health Assistance ARE, in fact, Looking in to Their Mental Health Mirror and Feeding The STIGMA!!! Associated with MMHI (Multiple Mental Health Issues)
…💛💚💙…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hey, you will do great just trust yourself 😉❣️✨✨
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you for sharing this and your courage to do something about it. Mental health is important. You are not alone! Big hugs !!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I respect that he acknowledges his problem. I hope the anger management camp will help and that he might look for another job where he can start fresh and maybe better suited.
LikeLiked by 1 person
try this
only you can do it…
LikeLiked by 1 person
💜 It’s Interesting when Passive Aggressive, Destructive Critics Destructively Criticise that They ARE Actually Talking About ThemSelves; it’s Crystal Clear Clarity that I AM, Too, Guilty of This Reprehensible Behaviour…so NOT!!! Preaching; just Sharing My Experience
…💛💚💙…
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much!
LikeLiked by 1 person
great insights and recognizing one has a problem is the first step.
Anger management is the next one.
LikeLiked by 3 people
That’s so true.
LikeLiked by 1 person
As someone who spent many years being the angriest man on staff, I am lost for words at your confession. I never took it anywhere near throwing furniture, let alone attacking someone.
I hope you find a therapy or a therapist that works for you.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks for your like of my post, “The Seal Judgments – Revelation 6:1-17;” your kindness is greatly appreciated. I also am thankful for all of the other likes that you give to other articles that I write. I am truly blessed to have you as such a good international internet friend.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are very welcome. Thanks for being such a good friend.
LikeLike
Hey same problem is with me. Only difference is I am same with my family too and later I realise I did wrong or I said wrong things. Later I apologize but my words or my actions have already done the damage. I know internally that I am wrong but could not stop my anger when it should be stopped. Please suggest what are you doing for this. How to control anger and not hurt others. I do not want to hurt anyone, neither physically nor mentally. Although physically I don’t do but mentally yes I do hurt everyone around me. I feel it is very difficult to deal with me. But I am confused what should I do. How to control myself. I love my family and friends. They do understand but they cry because of me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with us. It is an invaluable insight. You can consider seek professional counselling assistance in your locality.
LikeLike
I like your way of writing . It’s distinctive and unique . I felt inspired by your thoughts and started my blog too 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good for you! I wish you all the success.
LikeLike
Nice pice of content . I think everyone must learn the skill of anger management
LikeLiked by 1 person
Absolutely! Thank you so much for your comment.
LikeLike
Oh.so much anger in office is not right but there’s climate and specially boss ‘s rude behaviour makes everbody to be angry.it is natural.If we don’t opposed the wrong doing then all will understand that we are weak person.that time anger is right.don’t worry for anybody.do as you like.you are a blessed girl,my dear kally!! Bless you with love❤
LikeLike