Good day to you.
I have a problem. To be frank, I am scared and lost at this moment. I’m a first-year student at my university, studying engineering. My family isn’t well-to-do so it takes a lot of my parents’ savings and borrowing from relatives to get me to go overseas to study at this prestigious university. So it is imperative for me to get myself a degree and do them proud.
It is a chance of a lifetime but it does put a lot of pressure on me to do well in my studies. The thing is I have zero interest in engineering. I applied thinking that I might be interested in it but after having a go at it for a full year, I totally suck at the subject. Every test, I barely passed. Every morning, I just dragged myself to school.
Honestly, I don’t know what subjects interest me. I’m so homesick but I can’t go home. Maybe it is better for everyone if I can just go home but it means betraying my parents’ faith and trust in me. Disappointing them is the last thing I want to do. I’m their only child. Their hopes and dreams pinned on me since day one.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to go home and be a laughing stock but neither do I want to continue to be this miserable.
Sincerely with respect,
I’m so sorry to hear that you didn’t enjoy your schooling. School life is supposed to be all about learning with a dash of fun in it.
Understandably you are away from your loved ones and feeling homesick is perfectly normal. I felt it too when I was working overseas for 2 years. However, the big difference between your situation and mine, I thoroughly enjoy what I was doing.
One of the key questions that you should ask yourself is that whether it is subject that you dislike or the homesick situation that is putting you miserable. Two are clearly separate issues here and if you are able to eliminate one, you might have a solution to ease away the other.
There are two ways to go about it. One is to seek counseling from your school counselor. You can even try to go for other classes in different subjects to see if something perks up your interest. Another good and painless way is to browse through some of the free courses online and see if anything clicks for you. This way, you don’t have to completely drop your studies before you make a decision but rather, explore your interest and if you do find one, try to make the switch in your university.
Another solution is to perhaps relocate to a university nearer to your home and transfer the credits there. You can also opt to pause your studies until you clear your head. A break for a few months isn’t a poor choice but a sensible one especially if you don’t like the major you are doing now.
There is no shame in pausing your life to evaluate your choices, even if you have to backtrack and start all over again. I believe your parents want you to be happy and nothing pains them more if they know that you suffer because of their choice, not your own. Life is all about trials and errors. Being true to yourself is what’s important here than to live a lie for the rest of your life.
Think through on the options above and let me know once you come to a decision. We can always take a step at a time.
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