Due to the HUGE response, I had the last time on Open Advice: Education Direction, I am going to do the same thing again. I have another reader who emailed me anonymously, seeking everyone’s help here.

I have a reader’s letter below and instead of me giving the advice, YOU dish your advice out. I’ll consolidate my advice with yours and repost this article out next week.


 

Dear MiddleMe,

I am currently dating a nice young man but we are having a big issue. I know your blog is not a dating website but somehow I felt perhaps you can help me out here from a different angle.

You see, I am a recent university graduate, top of my cohort, specializing in Economics. While my guy is a car mechanic, working in his field for almost 4 years. He never did go to college, dropping out of school to feed his family when his dad left home. My parents did not like him. They think that he is not suited for me and on occasions, asked him at point blank why is he wasting their daughter’s time. In turn, he went back to night school, taking up sales and accounting courses. Last month, he even quitted his job and join a sales job at my dad’s firm.

Since then, he is a changed man. Gone was the jovial happy man I loved and in place is a man who looks jittery and stressed out all the time. I know he prefers to work with cars rather than to mingle with people. His dream is to own his garage repair shop one day. I know it sounds very simple but that is what I love about him – his simplicity towards life and his passion towards his cars. 

My parents’ attitude towards him has improved a little ever since he worked with my dad. I have spoken to him a lot of times about pursuing his passion and we always end up not speaking to each other for days. His reasoning is that as long as I am happy and secure in our future, his loss of dreams are peanuts to him. When I argue that I am not happy now, he’ll retort that I am too young and I should listen to my parents and that when we are in trouble if we can’t even afford to pay off the mortgage on our future house. 

Please share this question out to your readers. Help me to convince him that what my parents think does not count in my books and what matters is chasing his dreams. I can’t bear see him being in misery while planning for our future.

Let me thank you all in advance. I can assure you that I’ll be watching and reading all the comments carefully.

Thank you!

From,
Corey G


Share your advice for Corey below and I’ll consolidate your advice for her and repost this article with the advice on next Friday. 

Looking forward to hearing your advice!!

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11 replies on “Open Advice: Pursuing Own Happiness

  1. I think you should tell him that life is all about creating good memories and happy experiences. You want him to enjoy life and pursue his passion because you love how he is when is he doing things he enjoy. Money isn’t everything.. although I can totally understand your parents because my parents are the same.. All they care about is stability.

    I actually wrote a post called, “The perfect Man” and mentioned how Asian parents would most likely care about the guy’s financial situation and place little importance to appearance and personality because to them, “looks don’t matter and personality is useless if you are broke.” Sigh.

    Good luck.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Dear Corey,
    I understand were you both are coming from. I love you for wanted to see your boyfriend happy (I know the feeling) and you should definitely keep encourage him to follow his passion. At the same time try to understand that nice young man of yours. He wants to make you happy and as a man he feels responsible to provide you a good life. Although you couldn’t care less about your parents opinions about him, he just knows they are important to you and doesn’t want to come in between your relationship.
    Try to find a balance, for instance he should stay at his job and during the weekends he should spent time regarding his passion. Meanwhile try to save money so in a couple of years he can buy his own garage, so when the time is right he doesn’t have to feel he’s taking a to big risk.
    Don’t be to harsh on him, dear Corey. Sounds to me he really feels he’s doing right by you. Keep communicating, keep spending time regarding each others passions and both remember that you should work to live, not live to work 😉
    Kind regards, Patty

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Dear friend. Hindu scriptures have a wonderful word called “svadharma” which would loosely translate to pursuing one’s own potential and work. Only if he is enjoying what he’s doing will he ever be happy and contented. That will bring him peace and success too. Its obvious his svadharma is to be a car mechanic. He’s cut out for it, he’s enjoying it and he’s successful in it. He should definitely get back to his core competence rather than doing a sales job that’s not really cut out for him. Its best for both as a couple because his happiness brings cheer to both. Best he gets back to what he enjoys working as.

    Just my 2-bit as a friend. Best wishes

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Corey..
    Every man wants his lady to be happy!! The woman would always what she always want. But you should also know that a man’s mind works like a machine when it’s on overdrive and adjusting to a new terrain.. The young man is just trying to balance all equations; so that everybody he calls family is happy at the moment..
    Be patient and try to make him feel he has made a right decision.. Reminding him he has thrown away his “dreams” out of the window, would only put him under more stress and pressure to deliver..
    If he believes he can conquer his new found career, all you need to do is support him.. and bare him beautiful children!!
    If you are sure he loves you as you love him, things would turn out right because he is your king, which means he would fight tough battles to keep his queen and empire strong. #Celonarants™

    That my take!

    Charles Okpere.

    Liked by 1 person

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