Readers’ Advice: Education Direction

Last Friday, I posted an article up with Evan’s email seeking advice to handle his dilemma. With his blessings, I decided to post his situation up and seek MiddleMe’s readers advice on how to help this young man.

Thank you for your positive response and your helpful advice. I have consolidated the comments below to give Evan and others a much better summarize view. I am sure that Evan is grateful and will take your advice to heart.


 

Dear MiddleMe,

I have not started working yet but the next step that I am about to take will affect my choice of career for the rest of my life. I am starting university next year and I haven’t quite figure out what I like to do.

My parents have different opinions about the courses I should take. My dad thinks I should learn to be more assertive and will benefit if I take up a business course. My mum prefers that I invest my time in technology or engineering classes because she is an engineer and her dad was an engineer before. My parents have often argued over this since a year ago and this is causing me a great deal of stress. My friends say I should pick a course of my interest but I am a boring person. I don’t have much hobbies or interest. I do like to read a lot though but I don’t think there is a university course on reading.

I am my parents’ only child, and it hurts to see them quarrelling over me. There have been talks of my mum leaving my dad over this and I think this is getting out of hand! In my rebellious streak, I want to tell them I don’t want to go to university anymore but I know it is not the right thing to do.

I really want to let my parents know my decision so I can stop them quarreling over dinner every night but how can I tell them when I don’t even know it myself?

Please help!

Best,
Evan C

Dear Evan,

Thank you for reaching out to us and allowing everyone here in MiddleMe to help you.

Let’s start with the core of your problem, that is you. Figuring out what you want is important but most important is that you have to have more confidence in yourself. Like Patty said, you are not a boring person otherwise you wouldn’t write to us here and like Noel Williams mentioned that you need to take charge of your life and be more assertive in pursuing your dreams.

You can start questioning yourself what you like by exploring what kind of context you like reading about as per suggested by R_prab. You can do up a list like what I love to do and what Roger has suggested to reflect on those subjects on your lists which have overlapped, see if you are able to centre in upon one which sets your mind and instincts working together. I do find that once you set your words in black and white, something thoughts get clearer and solidify. Try talking to people as advised by Solvig, who aren’t your parents or even family, will help you understand you better, especially if they are good listeners and can harness whatever your heart is beating for.

You can also look at the practicality aspects like your employment locality as per suggested by BeaMD and I do agree with her that a degree may open doors in most job but skilled jobs requires more of a technical education. And hearing from 76sanfermo questioning yourself what field would you like to work in , in the future? Remember when you are really young and your teacher asked you to write or draw your ambition? Explore that for a start. Try out a few summer internship is a great idea, contributed by Solvig.

Generation Now suggest that you talk to your parents, indivdually and both together, on their expectations on you. Throw the question back to them and probbed them for in-depth details. Roger also mentioned that a parent has to accept a child will wish to go their own way, all they can do is guide, support and be ready to help the child up when they stumble (we all stumble, all through our lives). Tracedive shared his experience of not listening to his parents and took up a course of journalism and psychology because he desire to be a writer. Solvig also shared what happens when he listened to his dad and ended up dropping a course in the university after a year.

Ultimately, you have to make your bed and lie in it. It is your future and your choice. Your parents are only able to advice thus far. Signing off with a quote from Tracedive, “Follow your heart, take a break from the commotion, listen to your heart and you will get the right answer.”

Best of Luck.

Regards,
All of Us at MiddleMe


If you have any more advice to give to Evan, please feel free to help the young chap by adding your comments below!

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14 comments

  1. This is a very common issue in a tech oriented environment.
    In my opinion, Evan can opt for an internship in a field of his choice. Plus, a specialisation course on the weekends will definitely add to the resume.
    Granted, it would be hectic. However, it would give him that clarity about what kind of future he wants for himself. Are his skills enough for a job, or does he need more study in a particular field?

    Also, it would calm down his parents for a while, because he’d be trying both avenues for himself to see. It’s a very stressful situation to be in, but during that internship he would experience office life first hand and know if it is for him.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hi Kally I may need some help with my sisters bf stalker that has started a cps case against me, reported my IP about dling and he went from fat, bald and broken up with to him trying to pump nitrous oxide in my room while in the basement putting epoxy on everything I own. Including my microwave. It is 130 here and he hit my site 40 times in a few minutes like he did a month ago and said it was a cps worker and they do not troll the internet. I want to squeak some info out and it is best served cold and out of the country so there is nothing he can do about it

    Liked by 1 person

      • I am not on a self hosted site, so I am not sure I am able to get the plug in. I found out a month ago my site was retired a while back. He is not effecting my ability to do anything online, just being a nuisance and giving me largely fake views in my mind. A month ago I got around 1000 from the United States in an hour and change. No likes all quick views. I was going to stick with having the brake line in the first or second sentence but many people just like and then do not read. I may do that again. It pissed me off as I said it was him in front of my sister and said said I have better things to do then that. Well Friday I listened to him saying how he got my IP, I immediately had Verizon change it and I used a VPN all day when posting and that had me in other countries. It slowed me down. He also called Verizon and said I downloaded Jurassic World, as he does not know my library and he said April 1st, it was more like June 15th on Optimum and Verizon said someone called like 10 times in a week and the call seemed like spying as I did not even have service when the supposed DL took place. He did the same with another movie. Myself and other sister have DL at least 1000 movies and never caught and ppl do not get caught as the sites are international, cams do not count, nor do screeners and if an owner uploads it they are giving it to others to share it is less than 1 percent. Very hard trick to have twice in a few weeks when my computer dls in seconds at times.

        Like

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