I was talking to one of my friends who is having some troubles at work. Work have not been smooth sailing for everyone in his company where they are expanding in a rapid rate and everything seems to be in a mess and everyone seems to be unsure of their roles anymore. Does this sound familiar to you?

While at work, we often have differences in our opinions and the decisions we make. More often than not, people at the management level do have the right to question you and perhaps forcing another decision that is unpalatable down your throat. Without seemingly going against others all the time and of course, without throwing the towel to quit, there are ways to avoid such conflicts and yet still retain your principles. One of them is to pick your rightful battles to fight on.

I often view my working days as battles on the field and me as a general leading my army of soldiers to victories. One thing I learned early into my career is that you can’t change some of the things in your company or your role. Yes, I do advocate making changes and striving towards progress, however, there are times you need to learn to let go.


We can break down into categories like the ones below:

Things you can change
It is within your scope of work and you don’t need permission to spice your tasks up. You need little or no help in changing the things you do and whatever you change improves your own work processes but does not impact the whole vision or directions of the company.

Things you can influence
You believe with statistics and proven evidence you can influence your boss’s decisions into deviating the steering into a slightly different directions. Or you can use the power of positive peer influences to motivate your team and peers to do better for this quarter.

Things you cannot change or have no power to influence 
You may try a couple of times however, the people at the top just refused to budge because of certain “reasons” that are not made clear to you. Or you may beam your strongest influences at a certain coworker but he or she just simply ignore you or stay the same if not worse. At this time, it’s about letting go. If you cannot stomach it, it boils down to whether the job or the company’s vision is suitable for you and your growth. Constantly banging your head into obstacles are just going to give you a huge headache or deflated your spirit. Either adapt and hoped that in time to come, things will improve or seek greener fields out there.

Let’s apply the above to some real life examples to give a better illustration.



Things you can change
The way you approach your customers, the way you present your sales and the way you use certain sales tactics are things that you have a lot of maneuvering areas to better your skills and in turn, improve your career performance.

Things you can influence
Market trends, customer’s comments, and calculated projected forecast are some of the examples you can use to influence your boss into changing next quarter’s sales targets. Positivity support, proper 1 on 1 guidance and encouragement are what you can use to influence your team to sell better and hit the targets.

Things you cannot change or have no power to influence 
By telling your company’s shareholders that profit doesn’t matter, only long term customers’ relationships does are never going to work. The realistic cynical consumerism world is just going to push you to insanity if you kept on harping about it. Instead of wasting your saliva arguing with the top, go back into the other two categories and see if you can do it in little ways of your own. You might never know, bit by bit, little by little, you just may be able to use your actions to prove your point subtlety.

startup-594091_640Project Mangement 

Things you can change
Your efficiency, juggling different scope of your work, your approach to different people in different departments are what you can control because it’s all about your input.

Things you can influence
Figures and facts, case studies and powerful persuasion are some of the methods you can apply to influence things to go your way. Instead of saying I can’t all the time to your bosses, try saying perhaps we can do this… Apply different persuasive techniques onto different personalities.  Studied their weakness and swiftly apply to attack. A brilliant example is when I know my secretary hates to do overtime when I need her to do so because of her family, I always overcompensate her by giving her free tickets to a Disney ice-skating shows or helped to order in dinner for her family or arrange to pick up for her kids. You can do so in a different capacity in your own way, a cupcake or a cup of Starbucks won’t hurt anyone and immediately brightens the person’s day. Just don’t overdo it.

Things you cannot change or no power to influence
Pushing management to scream or dictate at others to follow your ways or your timeline. You’ll lose respect immediately among your coworkers that you had to have a big boss to help you pave the way and you are just showing you are not the right person to be in this role.

These are the two jobs for examples. I may not be in your role or your industry, your company might do things in a different way, but the basis of any job are the same, you just need to find out what fits in the categories and act accordingly. Otherwise, you’ll end up swimming against the never ending impossibly currents and not reach the shore.

Swim or sink, the decision is yours.


Looking forward in hearing your opinions on the above topic or come join me in Twitter MiddleMe_net.


57 replies on “Pick Your Battles

  1. Indeed, this does not only apply to the work force but, it also applies to the society of human beings inhabiting this earth. 🙂 How you be? Been to my post? Had time to read the book? Just missing you and your encouraging words, that’s all.. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Dividing things into what you can change, just influence or don’t have sway over is an excellent anti-stress recipe for life, though the war/battle/general image is ok for some on-the-job situations, but a bit aggressive for everyday issues 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You sweetheart you! Always lifting me up even when I am not down! For nowadays, Father got me basking underneath His everlasting arms far away from these earthly grounds…ha ha! HalleluYah! Can’t hardly wait for the finish line! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

          1. I have taken it out of CreateSpace. Now I will check to see the Kindle situation. In the future, for myself I will re-publish it in CreateSpace, after I make sure is good enough to print. That way, I can buy a hard copy of it for myself and, maybe for you and others gifts.
            Right now I will continue to make available in the blogs. Only thing is, I do not know why I do not hear from anyone downloading it yet? Perhaps after you finish reading it you can help me promote it?
            I want out of the marketing arena. My whole heart is set on our Father’s will to reach His children with that message. Also I am still working on Dying In The Present Living In Eternity. What you think? I covet your input. 🙂

            Liked by 2 people

          2. Hi Thia, the thing is that when you put your book on the blogs, you don’t get the stats to tell you how many times it gets downloaded. I have already forwarded your link to some of my personal friends to get them to spread around their social circles as well. You may need to consider approaching someone who is expert in marketing books for more advice. 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

          3. Thanks goodness, I already have the links to distribute the books for free.
            Even so, I sense something about my reservation to pursue the matter, I do not know what it is that I sense.
            One thing I know, it seems to me that your input shall be a pivot for this message to take off. Thanks for spreading it among your friends.
            Also, I am waiting for the circumstances here to turn upwards. Right now it is all downwards. Much difficulty in all areas. Even when this Jordan is the safest place of all the places in the world we are going through a very difficult times.
            So, Father has me to wait on Him to work things out for us. Hope that makes sense to you.
            In the meantime, guess I’ll go get me a bite to eat from my kitchen! 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

  2. Kalle, I just finished reading your new post, Picked Your Battles, that is a very thoughtful post covering a lot of different situations in the workplace.
    You being a woman, finding yourself working your way into management positions has to be a fairly steep uphill climb. You are fortunate many women have gone before you and put a lot of cracks in that old glass ceiling. I do believe that glass ceiling is going to come tumbling down. This complex world is finding more and more women CEO’s and many, many women in upper management positions. From all of the things you covered in this post you are well on your way to being one of those women sitting at the head of the table in the conference room.

    You have a very kind heart and you consider people’s feelings in the way you interact with them, I hope that doesn’t come to be an anchor around your neck. But like you said if you have people that are impossible to work with, there are greener pastures out there.

    It is very hard to understand why some people are unable to take constructive criticism. With many of them it is strictly my way or the highway. Those personalities are the cause of the conflict in this world. They would never make it managing a business so they go into government, where they can be partly illiterate and still make a big salary. Sorry, that sounds very negative and critical, I’m really not that way. I’m a very easy-going person who considers how others want to be treated.
    Again, good look in your endeavors. I see you swimming, even if against a tsunami, of my way or the highway people.

    You are in Singapore I in South Dakota, USA, my computer lost you twice tonight, must be the satelliite signal. None of this may be possible after the cyber wars!? Pray that never happens.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. South Dakota. I just google the images of the place and looks beautiful!! And I can see that you all are big on nature conservation. I stopped climbing the corporate ladder 6 months ago to build MiddleMe so I can share more of the experience and advices to the world. Climbing to be the top is never my dream, my dream is to help people especially young managers to succeed. I want to see a kinder, more passionate leaders out there, whether they are female or male. I want to see the heart back in business, the innovation back in consumerism.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I think you’re completely right about picking our battles. There are certain things that there is no way we can ever change, just as you say. If we continually make a fuss about them, however, we may end up with a reputation. Then our bosses stop listening to us even when it comes to those issues that we could otherwise influence.

    Liked by 1 person

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