Hello MMers!
I hope life has been treating you kind. Life is now at a standstill for me because our Covid positive numbers are rising, and the Malaysian government decided to lockdown the entire country again. Even without the lockdown, looking at the daily numbers blasting over social media is depressing enough.
During these weeks, I haven’t been feeling my best. Plagued with minor ailments like the common cold, diarrhoea, migraines, I’ve been feeling under the weather that rendered me in bed most time. Fortunately, my husband, grounded by the pandemic to work from home, can juggle both video conferencing and parenting at the same time when I couldn’t gather enough energy to roll myself off the bed. Besides working and parenting, he shouldered on most of the household chores as well. Bravo!
While stuck with bed rest, I came across an interesting article about how women in China and Hong Kong choose to either stay single or married without kids. This is because they don’t want to be stuck in being the primary caregiver in the family, having to sacrifice their careers and sometimes, their freedom as well. Even for the rest of the world, the role of the mother is skewed.
But I do get what the women are feeling, or rather fearing… You slaved through years of education, jumped through hoops to get that dream job, dodged through backstabbing and biases to grab that promotion, only to pause (even a complete stop) on your career progression so that you can raise a family. If you and your spouse are at work 12 hours every day, who is taking care of your child? And if you are not there for your child, what’s the point of having children at all? If you pause your career, even for a while, will you be able to get back into the game? If you have a child, will you be expected to be not only the primary caregiver but the only caregiver and juggle all the chores at the same time?
Not having children is controversial because in Asian culture, let alone the Chinese culture, having children is viewed as an important milestone in life. It is impressed upon us as a filial duty to provide lots of grandchildren, the more, the merrier, to our parents. For a woman to not have children is akin to a man not having a career to provide for his family. In the eyes of many parents, there is no redemption.
So is it still possible to balance both career and children? Sure, but many sacrifices have to be made, plenty of compromises to make it work, and even more understanding from both spouses to make this arrangement a success.
This is only possible if your child has a great father and you have an awesome supportive husband. Someone who isn’t afraid to carry a diaper bag and changed diapers in public. Someone who stepped up to iron the laundry, mop the floors and make wonderful soups without being asked. Someone who happily pretend-play as Anna when your daughter wants to be Elsa from Frozen. Someone who isn’t calculative, who does what at home and brings back more dough from work.
I am fortunate that my dad is like that and showed me a role model of what dads should be like, and with that inbred in me, my chosen someone cooks better than me, cleans way better than me and is the handyman around the house. Ever since my daughter is able to express herself better, he stepped up as a parent tremendously and even took over the caregiver role entirely on days that I am unable to do it.
So if you have someone in your life who is a caring husband, a wonderful father and an amazing grandfather, give that person a big hug, spend some quality time together and express your appreciation for him to be in your life right now.
Happy Father’s Day!
Signing Off,
Kally@MiddleMe.net
MiddleMe 
The old days when hubby made the income and the wife ran the house are gone. And I think that’s as good for men as it is for women. Every additional skill, even the domestic skills of housekeeping and ironing, is valuable.
PS: Like the new profile pic, Kally, and hope you’re better soon.
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I hope you get well soon. Sending lots of love and positive vibes! ♥♥
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Yes I had a good father, a good husband and now have wonderful sons and son_in-law.
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I liked so much what you wrote.Italy has always been a country with many children but now less and less.Women study and work and it’s so difficult to take care of children.Some grandparents are extremely helpful and some husbands ,too.But some husbands are not as their mothers do not prepare them for taking care of children and -even less-taking care of home.You’re right :everything works wonderfully when everybody does something and we have to hug those who do.Best wishes for your health.A hug from Italy !
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Thank you so much. A big hug and blessings from Malaysia!
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Take care Kally and sorry you are under the weather with all of this not so good news. Take good care and hope to see you soon❣️💖🌷🌷
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Thank you so much, Cindy. Hopefully I recuperate soon.
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Take good care of yourself, and thanks from all of us to your … ideal husband!
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Lol! Thank you, Bea. Your comment brightens my day.
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I hope you feel better soon Kally!
We are just coming out of our 3rd lock-down in Alberta (stage 1 of regained freedoms)
I just read an article that China passed a law allowing you all to have a 3rd child now… motherhood…
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Sending Angels, with healing in their wings to you! And I echo your praise of men who are remarkable. Both my Dad and brother are two such men!
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That is so beautifully said and I am so overjoyed you have the wonderful dad and an amazing husband who supports you with everything. They certainly deserve special mentioning. Wishing yourself all the best so you can be on your feet again. Sending you love and hugs ♥
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Hope you feel better soon, Middle Me😸Healing Pawkisses for a Happy Weekend🐾😽💞
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Absolutely an amazing tribute 💕
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Amazing husbands and fathers are the best. Loved this post Kally.
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This is so nice. Your hubby is a blessed man. 🙂
And I pray for a full recovery for you. 🙏
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Dear Kally, this is a very touching post. I’m quite impressed to read that women’s problems are the same everywhere, and it’s so important to have a good man by our side, who follows job and family (as we women do). But ‘m also so sorry to read that you are not well, what’s going on? I wish you a quick recover and, please, let me know
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Thank you so much, Paola dearest. The weather here have been hot and cold, I keep getting the common cold and recovering and getting it again. Sigh!
Hope I didn’t make you worry too much. Cheers and take care, my friend.
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Thank you for the news. Well, sometimes the weather can be very boring. I’m happy to hear that it’s just a cold 🙂
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Ýou’re very blessed to have a wonderful dad as well as a wonderful husband. They are also blessed to have you as the daughter and the wife. If the husband and wife of a family are happy together, so will their children. Get well soon.
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Thank you so much!
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Hope you feel better! ❤ Thank you for the post about fathers are true partners in parenting! Bravo to your supportive husband! ❤
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Thank you so much, Cheryl. Have a wonderful day.
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Bon Week-End
KALLY
Voici la fin de semaine
Fini le boulot ! Bonjour le repos
Profite un maximum de ces 2 jours de repos
Je te souhaite un bon samedi plein de surprises
Et une bonne journée de dimanche reposante
Lundi sera vite là
Ainsi va la vie
Je te souhaite déjà un bon lundi et un belle semaine
à venir
Et avoir un grand plaisir à te retrouver
prochainement sur ton délicieux blog
Bises d’un ami qui t’apprécie
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Thank you so much, Bernard! I hope your week is good.
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This is a beautiful tribute and a thought-provoking reflection! Career and children are a delicate balancing act, which having makes a truly committed partner at your side beyond valuable.
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