Dear Working Mommy,
Thank you for splitting yourself so you can feed the family financially and physically. I know it is tough to juggle two roles at the same time. So much so sometimes you think you might have split personalities.
There is just so little time to do everything at once. And the golden question is how do you know which to prioritize? Everyone will tell you that your child comes first over your job but it isn’t that black and white all the time. Do you go for your performance appraisal meeting or your daughter’s ballet recital for the 10th time this year?
Ah, then there’s the guilt trip. You feel guilty enough for not spending enough time with your little one without having someone shoving the guilt in your face. Reminders all over social media and parenting magazines on how it is better for the child’s growth if the mother stays at home, eats your heart and soul away at every word. As if that isn’t enough reminding that you are missing her first giggle, her first word, her first day at daycare.
You are missing her first giggle, her first word, her first day at daycare.
Nobody knows how hard you work at balancing between a good mother and a good employee. You pat your little one to sleep while with another free hand, typing furiously away on your reports. You tried hard not to nod off in the meeting because you stayed up all night as the little one couldn’t sleep due to teething. You wore your sweater on a summer day because you need to hide the vomit stain from little one this morning – it’s either late for work or an old blouse from the bottom of your laundry basket – you had forgotten to do your laundry last weekend.
You accept every promotion with guilt, with pay raises comes increase time away from your child. You dodge every business trips like the plague even though you know it will hurt your chances to be made the partnership. Over the weekend, you bring work home because you couldn’t like the other single coworkers work their asses off and had their dinners in the office to meet the deadlines – you want to be home just in time so you can kiss your little one goodnight.
Every single time you accept a social appointment, your head is swarm with worries that you never get to relax until you get home. Is the babysitter watching her? Has she slept yet? Did the babysitter remember that she needs her night light on? Your coworkers kept piling alcoholic drinks on you when he knows you are still breastfeeding. And not to mention the dirty look your boss gave you whenever you look at your watch for the fifth time in the first happy hour.
Is the babysitter watching her? Has she slept yet? Did the babysitter remember that she needs her night light on?
As for babysitters, they are a blessing as well as a pain. It’s a hit and misses whether you hire a good babysitter, never mind the right one. You tear yourself away from her pitiful cries and pass her over to a total stranger. When you found the perfect nanny with the perfect credentials and the perfect chemistry with your little one, you fear that your daughter will start calling her mommy instead of you. Why? Because you are never around. Your heart aches when she reaches out for her nanny instead of you, that she cries when the nanny leaves and when she draws her nanny instead of you.
I can feel your pain, Working mommy. It’s hard to leave for work when your little one is still asleep in her cot and come home to your sound asleep baby. You have made sacrifices that nobody sees and nobody praises you for. You gave up your precious time with your little one so that she can have a better secure future so that she can one day go to Harvard and not worry about her school fees.
So thank you, mommy, for all the unseen sacrifices you have made, all the aches every time your heart contracts and guilt trips you have taken just so for the sake of your family.
*Did you check out my Letter To Stay-at-home Mom?
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