Dear Kally,

I think I am in a strange position that perhaps you have not dealt with before. I don’t mind hearing what your readers have to say and maybe give me an idea or two on how to proceed my next step.

It is horrible to have this problem and even worse to have to seek anyone’s advice but I can’t see how I can get out of this unscathed.

I work at a used car dealership and we have around 20 odd staff. I used to report to two different bosses, let’s call them Bill and Peter. All is fine until I slept with Peter and continued my affair with him on the sly for 6 months until his wife found out about us and made him stop coming to office and leave the operations side to Bill. No one in the office knows and that was four years ago. Now I’m a much more mature woman, recently got engaged to the most wonderful man on earth.

For the past few months, Bill’s wife have been coming into the office almost everyday, something she rarely does in the past. And she has been giving me this obnoxious glare every time she passes my desk. It might be also because I have been recently promoted as executive assistant to Bill. I know Bill’s wife and Peter’s wife are best friends, I suspect that she might be told of my past affair with Peter. It is making me super uncomfortable but I kept brushing my feelings aside because I really love my job.

However, earlier this month, I’m asked to shift my desk to end of the corridor and it doesn’t make sense since I need to work closely with Bill. I’ll have to walk a few minutes before I get to his office for him to sign a document. Last week, there was rumors that Bill is looking for another executive assistant. I know there are not enough work for two of me. I can’t help but felt that I am going to be replaced.

I love my job and I do well in my job. What are my options?

Worried Sick,
Lori W


 

Dear Lori,

You must be feeling terrible right now. I’m sorry that you are paying a mistake you made 4 years ago. Besides, having an affair has absolutely nothing to do with your performance at work.

You must have done well in your work, as you said, to be recently promoted to executive assistant. I can see your passion in your job to have endured the harassment from Bill’s wife day in, day out. That must have been really hard on you.

I don’t suppose you have a HR personal in your workplace so my advice is for you to seek external legal advice on wrongful termination. Please make sure you are protected and you have evidence that you have been doing well in your performance, anything from appraisal to compliment emails or letters from your bosses or customers.

Once you have covered your legal grounds, approach Bill and ask him to clarify the ongoings like the glare and the rumors. For all you know, it might be a misunderstanding and all from your imagination blown out of proportion before you take any legal action.

However, if your boss does take the route of terminating without giving you a good legitimate reason (sacking you because his wife dislike you is not a legitimate reason), you can proceed to pursue this legally.

I wish you well in your next step. Take care.

Regards,

Kally@MiddleMe.net

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25 replies on “A Word of Advice: Get her out of my Hair!

  1. I understand the situation .life has moved on and its been 4 years. Forget the past and give ur best service at work .. But also keep looking for a similar job outside that u love to do. If u get better opportunity than this and just in case u r replaced with a genuine reason u won’t feel disheartened and discourage u still have other offer in hand.is there any ombudsmen team ?? So that u can speak about policies and stuffs in detail?? Just be strong and have plan b in mind also.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I believe i am too young to give you an advice and empathy or sympathy aren’t the things you actually need. the truth is what’s done 4 years ago should not be bothering anyone now, moreover what happened, took place between two people and just one among them cannot be the victim. I guess none of us are ever matured enough to broaden our thoughts and see things completely instead of just dealing with half a vision. I hope Lori does exceptionally well and proves that a mistake in the past should never be grounds to judge a person.
    good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. There is a long-standing principle ~ or rule ~ in business against fraternization between employers (or bosses) and employees, and for good reason. Of course, as the old saying goes, “it takes two to tango;” however, Peter broke the non-fraternization rule, not to mention his marriage commitment, when he began having an affair with one of his employees. Usually when such situations come to light, if there is any fall-out it is the employee who takes the hit, though this is certainly not always the case (thankfully.) If anyone ought to “take a hit” for the affair that occurred, it should be Peter for breaking not only his marriage commitment but, where the business is concerned, the non-fraternization principle. Of course, the affair was discovered, Peter really did not bear much or any repercussions, and that was now four years ago. One can hardly imagine Lori being terminated at this point in time for the deeply unfortunate mistake she made in sleeping with Peter that long ago. However, if the situation really comes down to this possibility, one has to wonder if the tables cannot be turned on Peter; after all, he is the one primarily (not solely, but primarily) responsible … and he should be held responsible by the company.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I want to go with Noblethemes. Situations like this should be avoided. A married man should respect himself and his spouse; and if you are a young girl and know someone is married, avoid an affair. If you get a new job, beware!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Great post and really good comments. The only thing I would add is that if she lives in an ‘at will’ state or signed an at will contract or similar agreement, there may be little she can do if they do decide to terminate her employment. It may not hurt for her to consider other options (like looking for another job). Peace of mind matters…

    Liked by 1 person

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