I hope everyone is doing awesome. I love the month of May because it’s the month where I and many others celebrate the joy of motherhood. And trust me, it’s a lifelong job. It is a difficult job. It is a job that doesn’t come with a degree, but yet everyone, including your own mother, will have a set of expectations (sometimes very different) from you. So many different parenting styles, yet nobody can genuinely say they have master parenting. Why? Because each child is unique. So there will never be a one size fit all for everyone.
So for this May, I’ll open with Different Types of Mothers. Please bear with me if you are not a mother (maybe, yet or never); I promise this will be an interesting one.
Different Types of Mothers
You are fearless at work while you appear to be tireless at home.
You conquer battles with your team while you win at every meal, homework and sleep battles.
You are expected to wake up before sunrise, prepare breakfast for everyone, send your child to school, get yourself to work, fight your work wars, gobble down your lunch in front of your screen while rushing your report, go through endless meetings, trying to get home through the rush hour, pick up your child on time, try to put together a healthy dinner, wash the dishes, revise homework with your child, put your child to sleep, pack your child’s lunch and school bag for tomorrow and finally, put up your feet to watch Netflix only to find yourself dosing off because you’re too tired.
Only to repeat the same routine tomorrow.
Stay at Home Mothers
You look longingly at the glamourous moms on tv, those that wear suits and heels with nanny and children towing behind her while you glance at the laundry pile taller than you.
Your life revolves around your child. Every. Single. Minute. You can’t go to the toilet without a child screaming your name or someone popping their head around the door to ask if you are finished. You can’t get out of the house without looking dishevelled and like a panda.
You can’t remember when is the last time you take time off to have a haircut/spa/mani-pedicure. Somehow in spending all your love and your time, you have lost yourself in the pile of dirty plates and unfold clothes. You wish that you can have one day holiday so you can focus on yourself.
You are the provider. You are the caregiver. You played both roles so well. You are everything to your child.
Sometimes, you wish you have someone to share your burden, carry your worries and cuddle up when life gets tough. You have seen the envy in your child’s eyes as he/she looks on at families with a mum and a dad. You feel guilty whenever your child miss out on another classmate’s birthday party because you just can’t find time to bring him/her.
You work extra jobs. You work so hard. You are the best employee. All because you want to give everything you can to your child. Everything except a dad.
You gave up everything. Your career, your friends and your family to move halfway around the world so that your partner can realise his dream career and your child can have better education.
Everything that you are familiar with is no longer there. You miss girls night out with your besties. You miss your mum’s cooking. Most of all, you miss financial freedom because your visa permit does not allow you to work.
Everything is balanced on a thin hope that all these sacrifices are worth it that your family will emerge stronger because of the different experiences you’ve been through.
You can’t help it. You know, you suppose to feel like you have gained another child instead of feeling that you have lost your child to another person.
When you realise that you are no longer a priority in your child’s life and his/her partner will be the one who will spend the rest of his/her life with. Someone will cook for your child. Someone will clean for your child. Someone will take care of your child.
You can only watch a part of you walking down the aisle while you put on your bravest front to smile and wish the couple happiness. Your baby project is completed, and before (and a big IF) grandchildren comes along, what are you going to do with your life?
Finally, the nest is now empty for a long while, but every weekend and festive holidays, your house is filled with waves of laughter and screaming.
Time for you to reap your rewards and spoil your grandchildren crazy. Splurging on them, after all, you can’t bring your tidy fortune to your grave. Leave the discipline and diets to the parents; your house will only dish out cookies and ice cream.
So the cycle finally comes to an end. The journey, or should I say the lifelong career of a mother.
Let us applaud each and every mother in the world, for without them, there won’t be us.
Until next month, take care, MMers!