Dearest Kally,

I never thought I will write into you because I am always so sure of my career. You see, I love my job very much – I am a special needs teacher.

From the start, I grew up in a supportive family of stockbrokers and investors but my parents never let me feel that I have to step into their footsteps or legacy. My family is pretty well-to-do, leaving me enough financial space to do what I want to do, which is to teach. I love giving back to the society that has been generous to my family and I am great at what I do.

This year is a tough year for me and my family. At the beginning of the year, our school has announced that they are closing the only special needs school in my vicinity at the end of this year. I can opt to transfer but the only space left is out of state, means I will need to relocate. My dad had passed away last Christmas, leaving my frail mother managing his business. I chipped in to help as and when I can, but the business is a full-time role. I know if I put my heart to it, I can learn the ropes of the business pretty fast. But my heart is in teaching.

My mother offered to close down the business or sell it to my uncle so she can move with me out of state to fulfil my dream. I don’t know if I can and should be that selfish after all the business is my father’s legacy. I know my mother will be sad having to move away with me, leaving the memories of her and my dad behind. I can’t move anywhere else without her, I’m all she got.

Please get me out of this dilemma. I know in the end the choice lies with me.

Gratefully,
Jovanna S.



Dear Jovanna,

I’m so sorry for your recent loss of your father. Indeed, you have a tough decision on hand however, I believe this decision lies with your mother and not you. Whether your mother chose to close the business or sell it off, this entirely lies with her. What I would suggest is that you spoke earnestly with her but don’t deliberately sway her decisions.

If teaching is something you love very much, you can see if you have other alternative means than to move away. I believe if the special needs school is closing, there might be a parent or two who needs a home tutor and you can offer to fill those needs. Teaching doesn’t have to be in classroom settings, tutoring might even bring a greater satisfaction to you since you are more involved with the individual student now.

Being a tutor, you will have the flexibility of time to assist your mother in managing your father’s business (if she chose not to sell) and you don’t have to relocate as well. Please do take note that a relocation is a stressful event even though it might mean a new start for you and your mother. If you do decide to take that route, my suggestion is to take it by parts. Maybe you can move out first and settle in before inviting your mother over to see if she likes the new location. She can stay for a few weeks before deciding this is for her. It is much safer rather than to do something drastic like selling everything and uproot yourself in one day.

Ultimately, the decision lies with you and your mother. Try to talk it out with her in multiple sittings so you can gauge her emotions. You are her daughter, just make sure she is not losing herself in the midst of wanting the best for you.

Best of luck, my friend.

Regards,
Kally@Middleme.net

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3 replies on “A Word of Advice: Kinship or Passion

  1. I agree with Kally, it is your mothers decision in the end.
    Talk to your mother openly about your dilemma.
    Good luck dear Jovanna!
    Kind regards,
    Patty

    Like

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