Forgive me – this is yet another guest post rolling for the 3rd week but these posts that I came across are just too good not to share. Like Issy Martin’s piece resounding with me so much, I can see myself in it. Our roles are very much similar except that she is a solution focused hypnotherapist while I am a writer and recruiter but like she pointed out, our roles are too many and we just can’t list them down.
I hope you enjoyed her post as much as I did. Please hop by her website here to read more of her work.
This question never used to bother me before I left the workforce to have a baby. Then I had another baby, and then another one, and before I knew it, I was 6 years into parenthood and hadn’t technically returned to the workforce. I had done lots of other things (as well as bringing three little people into the world). I had nearly completed a Masters Degree, a diploma, and multiple postgraduate courses. My husband and I had renovated a one bedroom flat into a three bedroom home. I had trained with and volunteered for a national family support charity. I had set up a business, ran a busy evening practice as a solution focused hypnotherapist, and was neck-deep in co-founding another venture. But I hadn’t technically returned to the workforce. I’m not even sure what that means anymore. I seem to be working harder than I have ever worked, wearing more hats, getting less sleep.
That simple question, “what is your occupation?” arguably a relic from a bygone era of lifelong careers, never fails to reduce me to a spluttering puddle of self-doubt. What am i? Well here goes, although my answer unlikely to fit in the two inches the typical form allows..
I am a mother.
I am a homebuilder and homemaker.
I am a wife.
I am a homeschooler (thanks to COVID-19).
I am a journalist.
I am a writer.
I am a blogger.
I am a solution focused hypnotherapist.
I am a business owner.
I am a co-founder.
This list isn’t extensive. The occupation ‘mother’ in itself can be subdivided almost infinitely – into taxi-driver, cook, cleaner, playmate, procurer, coordinator, party planner, crafter, music teacher, and so on.
These roles occupy my every waking minute (and a good deal of my sleeping minutes too). They are my occupations. Yet not one of them alone seems to adequately answer the question ‘what is your occupation?’
When I am asked to answer this question in order to buy a house, get a mortgage, register a business, and pass through customs, I tend to scrabble through my collection of occupations like a lucky dip and bring out whatever comes to hand first. It’s a completely irrational decision-making process. And one that I come out the end of feeling a bit worse than before I went in.
Why are we still asked this question? Who wants to know? Is there a wrong answer? On a recent trip to Beirut for a wedding, after a quick toss-up between journalist and writer, my irrational decision-making process just so happened to spit out ‘writer’ – something I was hugely relieved about when my Lebanese friend explained what happened if you said you were a journalist. Presumably there are other answers that would raise eyebrows and lead to further questions, depending on who was asking: pickpocket, tax evader, fly-tipper, wine-drinker. Who knows? Although it’s tempting, I’ve never explored enough to find out, for fear of being hit by yet more life-admin.
So I wanted to reach out, to all those who are between occupations, starting new occupations, juggling multiple occupations, making do with one occupation until the next occupation comes along. You are not alone. Many of us grimace as we condense our whole selves into a 20 character box. Embrace the fact that your multiple roles and areas of value spill out and over the edges. Being occupied by many different things is entirely natural. After all, as the poet Walt Whitman reminds us, “you contain multitudes.”
If you enjoy the guest post above, here are some of my carefully curated guest articles that you will enjoy:
Guest Post: Adventures in job hunting: I got an actual apology!
Guest Post: “Are You The Professor?”
Guest Post: Long Duration Flights by CHAPE
Guest Post: Why My Greatest Achievement As A Goldman Sachs VP Was Quitting
Can’t get enough of MiddleMe? You can find me sharing my thoughts here as well:
Instagram @kallymiddleme
Twitter (MiddleMe_net)
FaceBook (MiddleMe.net)
LinkedIn linkedin.com/in/kallytay
Best things in life are meant to be shared, start spreading MiddleMe around, after all, sharing is caring.
MiddleMe 
👍👍really awesome post on womanhood
LikeLiked by 5 people
I’m glad you love it! Have a safe and awesome weekend.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Same to you 😊
LikeLiked by 2 people
💌
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you, Ivana. Welcome to MiddleMe!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Kally
LikeLiked by 2 people
So nice and creative view 😍
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you, Abhishek. Welcome to MiddleMe!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I could relate to the every word written. Beautiful and empowering post👌❤
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you, Ramya! Welcome to MiddleMe!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Much of humankind continues to place worth on what we do instead of who we are. I keep thinking the world might be better off if who we are was the priority. That might change what we do. Thanks for this post.
LikeLiked by 7 people
I’m glad you love the post. Do pop over to her website for more of her talented work, Bryan.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hmm. “You contain multitudes” I like that. 😊
LikeLiked by 4 people
I’m glad you love the post. Do pop over to her website for more of her talented work, Herry.
LikeLiked by 3 people
🤗❤
Happy new week.
LikeLiked by 3 people
You too, Herry!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Multitudes indeed!
Thank you for that article!
LikeLiked by 7 people
I’m glad you love the post. Do pop over to her website for more of her talented work, Grace.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Raising children is the most honorable & important job there is. A movie called Mr. Mom proved that. The main character thought it would be a piece of cake. It’s not!
LikeLiked by 8 people
I still like Mr Mom. Its a bit dated now, but it highlighted a lot of issues re work, parenthood and gender bias.
LikeLiked by 4 people
I’m glad you love the post. I’ve got to catch that movie! Do pop over to her website for more of her talented work, Sean.
LikeLiked by 3 people
An awesome icebreaker Kally!
LikeLiked by 4 people
I’m glad you love the post. Do pop over to her website for more of her talented work!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Loved your Guest Post’s article. I too wonder, what is the need to ask one’s occupation!😊👣
LikeLiked by 4 people
How true, how true but many people identify themselves as per their occupation.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes, we are guilty. I believe that we need to announce our occupation because many of us are unsure of our identity.😣👣
LikeLiked by 3 people
This is a wonderful Guest Post! 💞
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you! I hope you go over to her website.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Really beautiful Kally.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Awesome. I hope you hop over to her website for more of her works.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks Kally,
God is so AMAZING to have created women like You and your Guest, Both of you place being a mom first (well after God-FIRST), which is the way it ought to be.
Like you when I was working and someone inquired “what do you do?”…. I too had to pause and ask (and resist the temptation to ask do you REALLY have the time to to know ALL that I do?)… then having overcome that temptation, I’d pick one of my responsibilities such as “I’m in Management” . or “In Sales”, or is “Purchasing”; with a hope that it would be sufficient.
Women ARE (and can be as the two of you evidence; Spectacular! …. Awesome! …. Incredible: YOU GO GIRLS!
God Be with you,
Patrick
LikeLiked by 3 people
Guys are awesome too! Don’t make them feel leftout, Patrick. Lol. Stay positive and blessed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Kally, Khayati here.
I am from India and I have opened this page, I will be glad if you could be a part of it. I like your content and I want it to reach everywhere possible 🙂
Thankyou!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Hi Khayati! Thanks for the invitation. I have submitted my form.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thankyou so much Kally! ❤
LikeLiked by 2 people
I think this is an important topic, Kally. It’s time for the world to stop putting people in boxes and descriptors. If I was to boil down everything I had ever done work wise, it would be (visionary) problem solver.
As for the mum’s of the world, even if they were coming back into the workforce, I have always given them serious consideration because I know what they are capable of. Even most of the executive teams I have had over the years have either been all women, or the majority.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Unfortunately, in my part of the world – Asia – ladies are still very much expected to get married and rear children. Hopefully, that will change in the next generations if not this one.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes, I do see that often re the Asian region. The pressure it puts on women, and also couples, is enormous. The Equal Opportunity Act was introduced here in 1985. However, there are still many issues and the debate re women in senior positions rages on. However, we do have many women in key roles. Change will come.
I know many people would find this unprofessional, but when I get asked for my business card, these days I say I haven’t got one, but I am easy enough to find. It hasn’t been a problem. However, I realise most people wouldn’t be able to do this. Imagine having a business card that was like a portal that could show people what you do – now that’s something that would excite me.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Technically you can. Just print a name card with nothing but your website address. That will make people sit up and be curious enough to really go to your website and see what you do.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks, Kally. That’s a very good idea and I appreciate the tip.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I have always despised the question “What do you do for a living?” I am a firm believer one shouldn’t never be defined by their job, no matter how hard you work to obtain the title (I worked hard for mine, just look at my career journal pages). My favorite question to ask is “What did you eat today?” This question can tell you a lot about a person and be a great ice breaker. You and your readers may enjoy this post on the topic
https://reallifeofanmsw.com/2020/02/25/brussel-sprouts-meet-relationships-2/
LikeLiked by 3 people
Same here. When I didn’t have a job and went into freelancing, it was awkward when people don’t know how to react to me being a writer.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for sharing!.. what is my occupation, one would ask??… a human being being me, of course… “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ( Oscar Wilde)… 🙂
Hope all is well in your part of the universe and all your tomorrows are filled with love and happiness…. 🙂
LikeLiked by 3 people
Totally wise words. I can’t say it better than you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m a messenger! I love your blog ill be back to read more! Keep up the good work!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you so much, Tobias and welcome to MiddleMe.
LikeLiked by 2 people
My Pleasure! & Ty!
LikeLiked by 2 people
A great posting, and all so true. Most times one forgets how much motherhood is occupiing women. Not only paid work is work, and caring for children is consuming a lot of time beside work. Thank you for sharing, Kally.
LikeLiked by 3 people
You’re most welcome, Michael.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, Kally! Very kind!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Defining ourselves by what we “do” is often problematic. Our true selves rarely belong to only one of the labels we can apply to ourselves, and the label “mother” seems to be particularly difficult to sort out.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Well said. I don’t define myself as roles, I define myself as my personality.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hello Kally.
What an interesting and great post. Thank you.
Have a good day!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Very important article and thank you for sharing Kally !! 💕
LikeLiked by 2 people
You’re most welcome!
LikeLike
Wonderful post! By the way, Kally I have nominated you for Vincent Ehindero Blogger Award. I hope you will accept it. I know you really deserve it! God bless!
Estela
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much for the honor and your generosity, Estela. Blessed your kind heart.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re much welcome, Kally. God bless you too!
LikeLiked by 1 person
As a retiree (from paid employee) but not from being a volunteer, I waiver between still calling myself a librarian or a writer. I seldom self-identify as a retiree (except in the previous sentence) because that is not how I see myself and I devote too much of my day to either volunteering for the USS Midway Library or working on some type of writing. Kally, let me know if you might be interested in expanding this idea.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I love to expand the idea with you! What do you have in mind? Drop me an email at Kally@MiddleMe.net or chat with me by add me on FB messenger.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Will send it now. Thanks.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Got it and replied you!
LikeLike
PS Wonderful post and I can feel for the author’s dilemma. I love her possible answers–some of them are hysterical.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I have at dilemma too. Nowadays, I just introduce myself as a mom. Whereas my enthusiastic hubby will be telling the whole world that I am a writer.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s your self-identity–give yourself whatever label works for you best. Nice of you hubby to acknowledge and celebrate that you are a writer.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You are absolutely right that motherhood deserves recognition as an occupation — perhaps the most challenging on earth. ❤
LikeLiked by 2 people
Well, it is the only occupation for life.
LikeLike
In the midst of it ALL, I Made a choice to care for my ‘inner’ self. I accepted and acknowledged I was and am a Child of God and my eternity does no depend on all the other hats Ii tried to wear. Blessings! You are LOVED from a ‘Higher” Place.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you and blessings to you as well. Stay safe and smiling, Faye. Take care.
LikeLike
Hi do you remember me I have recently started Highschool and I have almost got 100 followers how is your life going?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hey Ben! Congrats on your increased followers. I’m great. I hope school is going well for you. Stay safe and smiling.
LikeLike
some day, I hope, we’ll all stop acting as if human value can be measured in income & work…
LikeLiked by 1 person
YES! That day will never come sooner for me.
LikeLiked by 1 person