I am a mother, daughter, wife, writer, freelancer, career counselor, volunteer all roll into one little me. That’s many hats to wear on one little head!
And some critics do love to highlight that I’m not giving my best to my family, namely my daughter. I have met one such criticism over the last weekend where I brought my daughter to playgroup. One of the mothers pointed out that she solely devoted all her time to her child and will never think to divert her attention to anywhere else. She thinks that it is the mothers’ role to dutifully focus on the need of the family and not herself.
Shame on her to guilt trip me!
The reality is that we often wear many hats. Naturally, we are all someone’s parent, child, siblings. What roles we add on to that will add colors into our lives and many others.
Of course, there are times that things happened all at once and you suddenly find yourself unable to breathe, it’s all too overwhelming. I’ve been there when suddenly I’m thrown into mayhem and my commitments piling up on me. Those times, I stopped myself, asked myself what and who are the priorities and never been afraid to ask for help.
I want every single moment of my time to be truly fulfilled. Whether it is playing blocks with my little one, rushing deadlines for my clients, conducting interviews over Skype for my projects or just cuddling up on my couch with a pint of rum and raisins ice cream, enjoying an old movie. I can’t find myself idling for long. Soon, a challenge or an idea will come along and I’ll be tempted to try to balance among my other priorities.
True that I love my child very much and true that you can wear too many hats at the same time. However, it all narrows down to the capability of oneself, isn’t it? I’m able to handle both my family chores, professional work and volunteering easily but that doesn’t mean another person can and I don’t think less of that person if they can’t (unless they start shaming me like the one above).
Everyone has different limitations and boundaries. All of us has different learning curves.
For me, I can’t just grow together with my child as a Mother. I need to grow as Kally, the individual too. Only by growing in all aspects of myself, can I show my little girl that you can stretch yourself and your limits to see how far you can go.
To love yourself and others as much as you love yourself.
To love yourself is to know yourself, take time to explore who you are, take opportunities as they come to challenge yourself to greater heights, take courses to improve yourself and in turn, learn to let go of foolish worries and unimportant things.
Yes, to an outsider, I may wear a lot of hats at once. I know the saying of the jack of all trades and master of none but right now, I don’t need to be a master of anything. All I am contented is that I go to bed at the end of the day, tired but satisfied, knowing that I have accumulated experiences, memories and live my day to the fullest I know how.
To me, that is good enough.
What are the hats you wear currently? Do you think you wear too much? Share with us in the comments below.
Love my motherhood stories? There are plenty where it came from:
Journey with SAHMs
Motherhood Will Never Be An Easy Job
MiddleMe 
Kally, I agree with your paragraph: “For me, I can’t just grow together with my child as a Mother. I need to grow as Kally, the individual too. Only by growing in all aspects of myself, can I show my little girl that you can stretch yourself and your limits to see how far you can go.” Those were my thoughts as I read your post. How dare that other mother try to lay a guilt trip on you! Forget about her comment, and keep living your life to the fullest.
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“To thy own self be true”
You my dear friend Kally do That to perfection.
Now a great great grandpa (pappy) to four beautifully different kids is simply amazing… to be to grow with and through them is an endless joy.
God makes each of us uniquely beautiful and different.
I feel sorry for the mom who can’t discover anything else to do to challange herself.
One day she’s going to wake up and her lifes work will be leaving home only to discover how very much of life she has missed.
Kally, your right as usual, it’s not how many hats we wear, but how well we wear them.
Don’t stop challenging yourself
; its contagious, your daughter might catch it and what a wonderous thing that would be.
Life and multitaskinghare the norm because God made us that way.
Keep your priorities straight:
God first
Your family second
And later RIP third
Be you and your world will continue to be a better place
God bless
Patrick
BTW
I TEACH ABOUT 40 PEOPLE MY CATHOLIC FAITH, AND SHARE IT WITH ANOTHER 100 EVERY WEEK
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superduque777.wordpress.com
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It doesn’t seem that you are doing anything wrong. I think if your life focus is exclusively on your children, you will be in trouble when they grow up and leave home, also it is a luxury of a very wealthy person to be able to think of nothing else but children.
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Mmmmmmm My Dear Friend
I must say I am flattered, it is beholding how great and yourself you could be. I still admire your courage my very good Friend
Please keep writing from us, we are learning one or two things from your peaceful synopsis. I just wish Women from South Africa can spot such greatness and inspiring sayings of yours
I am flabbergasted as always
It’s been a long time hey…. Hope you have been and are doing good
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Thank you so much for your encouragement. Everyone is learning from each other and there’s always something new to challenge yourself each day.
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I learn a lot from you My Astute Friend, so great compassing myself with Einsteiners like you in this circle
Keep it up
Keep inspiring us
Keep sharpening our aspirations
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Thank you so much for your support. Happy holidays!
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There is always someone who does not like what you do. You do what you think is best and wear different hats. This is your world, that is how you do it, and you are doing a grand job. Never forget yourself, we often do when we have children. Don’t worry what others say!
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Oh, you’re always so sweet, Ute. And so positive. You’re one of the strong women I look up to. You always set such great example!
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Thanks Kally, in fact, I look up to you! Learning lots from you! Thank you for this lovely comment, makes my day! ♥
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Good to know someone outhere think the same of me! Tha ks for sharing!😉😍
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Thank you for your encouragement and welcome to MiddleMe!
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In your list of hats, you did not mention your important role as a friend. You are doing what is right for you. My rhetorical question to the “My child is my life” mother is “What will you do when your child 1) goes to school and 2) grows up? Will you still be happy when that child is a 30 something, lives in your basement, and still expects you to wait on him/her? You do what is right for you. Sorry you got dissed by mother (who felt herself) superior.
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Awww! Thanks for pointing out the missing “friend” role. I missed that out! Love your probing question. I did thought long and deep about what you’ve asked here. I am at peace with myself even though the mother did riled me up a bit. I am comfortable with what I am doing and hope for the best that I’m setting a good role model for my daughter.
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If I’ve learned anything since being a mom it’s this—your kids are not the center of the universe. As a Christian, my life should center around service, but I serve more effectively when I make time for God alone, and time for rest. I serve with greater joy if I make time to do something that enriches myself—e.g. reading, working out, or creative activities. I don’t have the luxury of taking a lot of time, but I take it.
I too wear lots of hats—writer, tutor, volunteer, etc—and my kids don’t get my undivided attention, but that is a good thing; they are learning that the world doesn’t revolve around them. They know I love them because much of what I do is for them and with them, but they also know I take time to refresh!
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Elihu, a big thank you for letting me know that I’m not alone for wanting me time to grow myself and devote to myself. As much as I love my child, I think it is important to grow together with her rather than to only watch her grow.
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I love that last statement about growing together. Self-development, rest, or even a hobby will model for your child the value of continuing to learn and improve, even as an adult.
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It is my life, I am the only one that can live it and I will only get one try at it, therefore, I awake every morning ready to face life and its challenges, doing it my may, making decisions using what knowledge and abilities I possess.. what may work for me may not work for someone else and vice-versa… 🙂
“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realize how seldom they do”.. Eleanor Roosevelt
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I love Roosevelt’s quote. Thank you for the perk-me-up! I do think life is too short for me, it’s like not enough days to learn everything and have epic adventures!
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Then you are truly living life as it should be!!… 🙂
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“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming; “Wow! What a ride!” Hunter S. Thompson
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Wow! What a quote! Blessings to you and your loved ones.
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Loved the title…
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Thank you so much!
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You’re welcome Kally🌷🌷
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We live in a world where too many people regard others as their personal mirrors. If someone does anything slightly different, from the Great and Powerful Oz, it is cause for upbraiding. Yes, shame on those who will not abide the differences that other people bring to the table!
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Thank you for such an inspiring and amazing comment. This is so encouraging!
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“Confidence is knowing who you are and not changing it a bit because of someone’s version of reality is not your reality.” Shannon L. Alder
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Great quote, thank you for sharing this!
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I always look forward to your comments because of the lovely quotes!
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Some people can never mind their own business. Ignore her, she’s probably jealous that you can do so many things.
Now, how many hats? Depends on you. And only you. And do remember, when your daughter is grown-up, she will be proud that her mom was successful in many fields.
Cheers Kally.
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Thank you so much. I need this. All the comments here have been so encouraging. I know I’m doing the right thing. We all wear so many hats at one time.
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Which is fine. How boring to wear one hat only. 🙂
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There is no doubt you are doing what’s best for you and your family. I’m sure times become challenging but you rise to each occasion. That is to be admired. Don’t let others steal your dream or dampen your spirit. You have a higher calling in being a mother while balancing life and your profession. Keep pressing onward. You won’t regret it
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Thank you so much! And welcome to MiddleMe! I won’t let others dictate my choices. I do live by my choices with no regrets. Your comment is truly appreciated and encouraging!
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Absolutely agree, dear Kally. We can’t change to make another feel more comfortable. As long as you feel happy with those hats, keep wearing them and wear them with pride 🙂
XxX
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Oh, I’m so wearing my choices (and my hats) with pride. Not going let myself or my daughter down just because someone trying to guilt shame me. Love you, Patty. You have always been a wonderful guiding light.
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As have you! XxX
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We may wear just one hat at a time but do carry many other hats with us, to be used up whenever there’s a need.
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That’s so true! I’m so sure I’m not alone. Many of us juggle with different roles in our lives. We are just not meant to be sitting still and watching the adventures slip by. Hahahahaha!
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