What if Snow White did not take a bite out of the poison apple? What if Cinderella did not go to the ball? What if Sleeping Beauty turns out to be a boy instead? There are plenty of crossroads in our lives. Many decisions made impacted our lives in more ways than one.
Idly, I wonder what would have happened if I choose to stay working in Shanghai instead of giving up my highflying corporate ladder to settle in Kuala Lumpur.
This is what I will probably be…
A career woman in Shanghai probably relocates again within in China. I probably will not have as much time to build my family as I’m super focused on my career so my little one will only make an appearance a few years later. Plus my job will require me to travel frequently so being pregnant will not be ideal, neither would morning sickness.
My husband will resign and stay at home trying to build a business of his own but at the same time, feeling somewhat helpless due to his limitations of the language. I will have a spotless home and wonderful homecooked meals because he is more domestic than I was. Probably still is if I haven’t taken over the role in KL.
I will not start a website called MiddleMe because I wouldn’t have the time, and neither would I need to freelance since my career will bring in enough challenges to drain me mentally and provide financially. I wouldn’t have known such a supportive blogging community and readers like you all here. That’s for sure.
Thus
I’ll never know what it feels like freelancing for a career or how is it like working for myself and not working for someone else. I won’t have tasted the freedom of being in control of my finances – how much I want to earn or be able to choose the work I’m interested in or be able to enjoy the flexibility and time I’m given through freelancing.
For this, I have matured so much intellectually and obtain new skills, whether it is to market myself to clients, setting boundaries and rules to protect my interests, balancing the books and timetables – well, in other sense, owning a small-time business.
I’ll probably procrastinate having children (which means the world to me to have my little diva) and to enjoy motherhood now. I am very certain that I will still be a mother later. But I won’t be able to devote as much time as I do now staying at home with her. I will miss most of her milestones and guilt-trip myself for being a bad mother every time I go to work or need to stay back at work.
I’ll get updates from my husband or her teachers on the growth of my child. I’ll constantly be amazed (and full of sorrow) that she seems to grow up so much whenever I come home from business trips. I’ll spend more time on FaceTime with her than Face to Face. And I’ll miss her little butterfly kisses at night.
I will miss out on giving back to society and volunteering for a greater cause. Something I wanted to do for the longest time but just couldn’t find the time or the energy to do it. I wouldn’t meet wonderful people through my volunteer work and likeminded mothers who are in a close bonded community, those that became wonderful friends.
Most importantly, I’ll never have “met” interesting people online and able to share an affinity with. Or to have touched so many hearts and mind with people. Or exchange amazing conversation through emails with some of you. Or receive wonderful sweet encouragement and support through comments here.
Because MiddleMe.net will just be a passing idea, something I toyed with in my mind but too busy with work to actually execute it.
So what if my “what if” path will take my career to greater heights and I probably will be flying business class, traveling around the world in style and collect expensive watches and handbags as a hobby. Maybe drive a luxury car. Live in a bigger house. I’ll still be missing the experiences, the memories and most of all, the friendships I have the blessings to gain on my chosen path.
With a smile, confidently and proudly announce I have no regrets.
What are your what ifs? I look forward to reading your what-ifs in the comments below and if you like, write a post about your whats if and post the link here!
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I have no regrets and having children early on in our marriage and being a stay at home Mum was the best ever choice ( not financially! ), but I think it would be fascinating to write a novel about one’s alternative self, the one who DID fancy that chap, who didn’t end up in a different country etc!
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Hahaha. Stop putting ideas into my head. I might just write a book about it. My hands are so full now, if you can see me juggling.
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You open a question to make use of assumptions that could change the course that has been taken in life. And in the end, when drawing conclusions from what one has done, if everything goes well, it would not change for nothing. It satisfies me to read you.
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Thank you so much for indulging my whimsical what ifs. I have no regrets in life but it’s been fun to write this post.
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What I love is knowing that I am not the only one that takes journeys on the “what if” bus!!
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Isn’t it just fun to speculate the what ifs in our lives?!
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I love it!!!! The possibilities
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I am so glad I found the joy in writing what ever comes to mind. Allowing my thoughts to roam like a child through the toy store as I chase my thoughts with pen and paper. I am inspired for sure, thank you
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Thank you for inspiring me likewise. It’s been a fun post to run and write.
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No what if’s here… “Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come”… I just let my heart take the lead, never second guessing.. the only question I have is what destiny has planned for me today… 🙂
“I used to have all these plans and think ‘Ah, I have my whole life figured out’, but then I realized no matter how much I plan: life happens! So I find myself living day to day trying to do my best, embracing every moment as a learning opportunity and chance to get to know myself a little more.” Q’orianka Kilcher
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Ah I have no regrets, DutcIl. I often let my heart do the decisions too. I’d say run with the wind wherever it might take you. Every turn is an epic adventure.
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“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” Helen Keller
🙂
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Beautifully quoted as always…
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Beautiful post xx can’t wait to read more.
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Thank you so much and welcome to MiddleMe!
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I really enjoyed reading about this other cultural potential experience. Great post.
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Thank you so much for telling me you enjoy this!!
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Without any doubt you made the RIGHT decision and consequently the WORLD is a BETTER place because of it.
And for ALL of that we THANK YOU!
God Bless,
Patrick
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Awww… you can be so sugary sweet, Patrick! God bless you and brought you to my doorstep.
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All the “what if”s in the world can’t replace the significance of living in the present moment. I’ve toyed with enough “what if”s to understand that they kept me stuck on a dream, on hoping, and as much as I’m a big advocator of dreaming and hoping, it doesn’t always serve the purpose… especially when it’s taking precious moments away from living your life fully, as it is, in the present, right here right now.
Good post!
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Thank you, Sindhuja. I never get stuck in a dream, I choose to live it. Forcing myself to make choices that I’m uncomfortable with have bring me to greater heights and more adventures to write on. I love hopes because it can push me to prove those hopes can be realised, with just enough time and effort.
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I learned that we are exactly where we’re supposed to be in life. What if I would have been employed in a big company making good money and climbing the career ladder ? I wouldn’t have been a self employed many-hat-wearing juggler doing exceptionally well at balancing work, motherhood, and being a wife, daughter, sister, and friend. No regrets here either. Life is meant to be lived following the paths laid in front of us. Now, when you come to the fork in the road, weigh your priorities and do what it takes to ensure they are met. Great post by the way. I enjoyed it tremendously! 👏🤗
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Thank you so much, Alexandra, for sharing your experiences with us. It’s true that we won’t be where we are if not for the choices we make.
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“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.”
-Tony Robbins
If you stayed in China, you probably wouldn’t have made this amazing blog post.
Thanks, Kally!
Geary from
https://alliseverything892198203.wordpress.com/
(All Is Everything)
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Thank you, Geary! It’s true! If I have stayed in China, I wouldn’t have this website at all. My life will be totally different. Probably still single and childless. Haha.
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And we probably would not have ‘met’. Now that would be a regret for sure 😉
Besides that, you’re one of my inspirations! XxX
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Totally!!! But maybe we will meet in somewhere else. Fate is such funny business.
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You made the right choice. Both your “babies” will benefit. 🙂
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Lol. Thank you! Have a wonderful weekend.
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