People say to live in the moment and treasure every second living, immerse and breathing in the ‘now’.
Sometimes I feel that in order to truly treasure your moment is to appreciate your past, embrace the differences and how far you have come through from different paths of your life journey. So I love to spend little moments like now to reminisce and waltz through my past and remind myself that sometimes I forgot….
What it is like to be single
That is before I became someone’s mommy. Gone were the mornings where I can sleep in, buried my head in my soft goose feathered pillow to drown out the sounds and sunlight. My needs are forgone as I cater to every whim and demands of my 19-month-old toddler.
I became more than a mommy, I took on the role of her playmate, her teacher, and her slave. No more white linen blouses as I maneuver to get the food into her tiny mouth (its back to eye-hand coordination for me and of course, her).
No more prancing around the house in rock n’ roll music (my house plays only nursery rhymes nowadays). And no more late nights watching movies in cinemas with popcorns as I struggle to make sure I get in 8 hours of sleep in order to be ready for next day battle with the chores.
What it is like to work in the corporate world
Walking around with a tea latte in one hand and still disheveled in my pajamas at one in the afternoon, I chided myself quietly for letting a whirlwind of events (usually created by my little one) in the mornings to get to me.
I do miss when the whirlwind of events are rushing from one meeting room to another, cursing myself silently (for accepting way too much meetings) as I skip two steps at a time to the meeting room right on the third floor, out of breath, only to realise that they changed the location of the meeting at the last minute.
What it is like to go out after dark
Living in Kuala Lumpur, like most cities in the world, going out alone after dark is asking for trouble. But not in Singapore, where I can be decked in my sexiness and feel safe that I won’t be harassed with catcalls or worse, robbed in the alleyways.
I don’t have to care if my tiny shorts and my flimsy top offend any conservative religion or in fact, anyone who would blink twice at my dressing in the humid weather of 39 degrees (even at night). I don’t have to worry if I pile my neck with strings of gold and diamonds (for the record, I don’t) and fear I will be a victim of snatch theft.
What it is like to sweat over a major project
As much as a freelancer, I do take on important projects but nothing as big as organizing a dinner & dance event for 2000 people.
Sure, I have participated in website launches but only on a smaller scale and for smaller brands. It is a different ball game altogether when you are part of a team that launches a product that millions are anticipating where any error is one mistake too many and prepares to get called out for that mistake in the press.
Mistakes in those major projects that I had my name in can means the heads will roll and jobs can be lost. The stakes are definitely high but the adrenaline is even higher as I manage to pull off the biggest achievements of my life.
Success has a taste and it tasted so velvety in my mouth. Oh, it feels so good.
What it is like to chase after a deadline
You pushed yourself to the brink and when you thought you are about to collapse and no longer able to push an inch further, your brain comes up with the most brilliant idea. You scrub away why you have done for the past 16 hours and work on the brilliant idea against the clock.
My most memorable moments are working tirelessly with a group of passionate colleagues for almost 72 hours straight and coming out, smelling nasty but alive.
What it is like to not have a single care in the world
I mean I still have cares previously but it is not as important as the cares I have these days. Besides caring for my child, I’m trying my best to give back to society and learning to care more about what goes around the world and not just events that will impact me directly. Somehow without work on my mind all the time, I take moments to be observant in my surroundings.
Just a minute ago, I watched a woman deliberating whether to leave her dog outside of Starbucks so she can go in and get a bottle of water for it. I solved her dilemma by approaching her and volunteer to keep an eye on her dog for a few minutes. I used to be so self-absorbed that I wouldn’t have noticed that woman’s internal struggles.
Same goes for volunteering, the idea has always been back of my mind but now, I finally set aside time to give part of my time to volunteer for a nonprofit organization that caters to parents and young children.
What it is like to spend money frivolously
Obviously, when you are single and working, you have a huge income to dispose of. I love it that I used to be able to purchase air tickets on a whim to go on weekend getaways to neighboring countries without having to save up. I wouldn’t hesitate to grab a dress or two off the H&M rack without looking at prices.
With a family and freelancing, those are luxuries of the past. Every cent save is a cent earned. And I have moved away from consumerism bit by bit, not by choice but where do I have to go to show off that new swanky heels?
Plus heels and babies don’t match.
I don’t know how Kate Middleton pulls off heels and babies, I can’t even balance myself on those 5 inches.
These are the indulgence of my past, so what have you sometimes forgot…? Please do share with us in the comments below.
Loving my inner thoughts? Want to dig more into my brain and see how it works? Here are some articles to give you an idea:
Feeling Disappointed At Singapore’s Legal System – An Innocent Child’s Life Is At Stake
Elite Schools: A Nay For Me
Best things in life are meant to be shared, start spreading MiddleMe around, after all, sharing is caring.