Whisper: I’m 38 And I Still Live With My Parents

Lindsey is hopeless. That’s what most people will say if you asked them what they think about me. I’m nearly 38 years old and I’m still living with my parents.

Not that I want to but I don’t really have a choice. I don’t earn that much and whatever salary I have, it goes in and out pretty fast. I can’t really afford to pay rent or even get myself a car.

I’m the youngest of five in my family and yes, I’m the accidental baby that comes along when my parents are in their mid-forties. So yea, I get pampered a lot. It also means I don’t have the pressure to perform like my brothers and sisters, which did alright for themselves. All of them went to university, got married to wonderful partners and have bundles of lovely children.

Not me. Instead of doing my degree, I convinced my parents to use the college funds that they put aside for me, on a worldwide backpacking trip that I did on my own. The pyramids in Egypt, the Eiffel Tower in Paris, the Great Wall of China, I’ve been everywhere. Even got to see the breathless enchanting Northern Lights when I was in Iceland for 3 weeks.

Neighbors say I’m a dream chaser and I’ll never settle down. My parents, although they never push me out of their house, are silently worried. I never held a job for more than a year. Most of my savings are used up for my next trip. I can never travel enough. A stable job can never satisfy my need for wanderlust. It just stifles me to stay in one place for too long. So for years, I worked at a number of jobs. Waitressing at cafes, singing at pubs, office cleaning at daybreak and even a few times, a mascot for children birthday parties or the local fun fairs.

I know my parents instructed my siblings to take care of me when they passed on. As much as they love me and I love them, my brothers and sisters have too much on their plates to hand out to their 38 years old “baby sister”.

I know I should get myself a decent job, a decent man, get married and have children like everyone else but I don’t think that is the life for me. I don’t think beyond next week, you know. It’s scary to plan so far ahead. I prefer living in the moment even though at this moment, my bank account is empty and I only got my lunch money to last until my next payday.

Friends say I should blog about my travels and perhaps bring in some passive income. Oh, I tried but I found I can’t follow through, not even on Instagram. I don’t have a smart phone. I don’t have a laptop. To get to use the computer, I either go to my sister’s house to borrow hers or to the local Internet cafe. Sometimes, the places I work in, allow me to use their computer so I can book my next flight out.

Secretly, I think that people around me are envious at my life. Called me selfish but you only live your life once and it’s how I want my life to be. On my resume, you can put me as an adventurer.

Maybe I’ll die alone. Maybe I’ll need to beg for handouts. But I don’t think I’ll have any regrets pursuing the traveling hobo life right now.


Enjoying Whisper Stories a little bit too much, here are some of the earlier ones to fuel your reading:
Whisper: The Thing that Destroy My Social Life and Almost Kill my Career
Whisper: I exchanged my family for my career

 

48 Comments Add yours

  1. cindy knoke says:

    Wow. There are so many amazing non-standard things you are saying here.
    To live life non-standardly, to not buy in to the protocol we are supposed to follow, takes an incredible degree of personal strength.
    I sincerely hope you stay the course, and I am glad you know while others may chastise, they are secretly jealous.

    Liked by 7 people

    1. Kally says:

      Thank you for your encouragement for this whisperer, Cindy. I think she is under a lot of stress by living by her own standards. Many may label her as lazy or selfish.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. cindy knoke says:

        It is a very hard to live true to yourself. But you tell me? Is it worth it?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Kally says:

          I can’t speak for Lindsey. But for me, it is very worth it to drop my corporate career, high flying post to become what I always wanted – a Mother, although my friends (even now) thought I was wasting my potential. Never felt that way, never will. Haha!

          Liked by 1 person

  2. tidalscribe says:

    You are an adventurer and traveller and you know you don’t want the traditional safe life so carry on. You have the happy advantage of a big family to return to. I think it is good for your nephews and nieces to have an exciting aunt who can tell them about the world.l

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Kally says:

      Thank you for offering your best encouragement to Lindsey. I’m sure she’ll be thrilled when she read all these positive comments about her choices.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. ... says:

    There is nothing wrong with loving adventure and travel. I love it too and would love to have a life like yours. Take care and hugs from me. 😊

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Kally says:

      Thank you, Roger for the generosity and encouragement you have shown Lindsey.

      Like

      1. ... says:

        That’s ok, I have gmail and hotmail if you or Lindsay ever want to talk.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Kally says:

          Big hugs, Roger! You’re awesome.

          Like

          1. ... says:

            Thank you. ❤ U

            Liked by 1 person

  4. thiaBasilia says:

    Oh Kally! This is the best of bests I read. Wow! The only reason I am not envious is because? That’s exactly the way I live at 79! How blessed we are!

    My dream? For the whole bunch of us to live that way! That dream? On the making by the power of love and wisdom from on high! Much love, thia. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Kally says:

      Thank you so much, Thia. Your encouragement and wisdom will mean so much to Lindsey. Godspeed and much love.

      Like

  5. Hammad Rais says:

    You know what, there are countless individuals in several parts of this very world who are in their late 30’s and are still living with their parents.
    One such individual is me!
    The concept of living with a family is different in Pakistan if you compare it with the rest of the world. Parents and their children love to stay together as long as they want to, under the same roof. A father will support his kids as long as he can and kids consider it as a great honor to return the favor to their parents.
    There’s no disrespect or feeling embarrassed about living with your parents here in Pakistan, even if you are in your late 50’s and your parents are still alive. We consider their presence as an honor in our lives because they gave us so much, right from the moment we opened our eyes in this world.
    So, they deserve respect and love from us every single day!

    Liked by 5 people

    1. thiaBasilia says:

      Indeed! That’s the way it was intended to be. Good news! The plan of restoration to the original intent for our creation is now taking place. Amazing! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    2. Kally says:

      Well said, Hammad. Applause!! I think it is different on this concept for Asians vs Westerners. For us, Asian, living with family means we take care of our parents just as they took care of us when we are young, the closeness and bond are treasured. As for Westerners, living on your own represents independence and maturity in making your choices. There are good and bad to both types. Sometimes, I wish our boys are more independent and less “mummy boys”. Haha!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Paul says:

    I agree wholeheartedly with all the positives listed above! Lindsey–the problem isn’t living with your parents at age thirty-eight–the problem is how you perceive the community/family’s attitude. YOUR ATTITUDE IS PERFECTLY FINE. Like everyone else, I hope you stay as you are. And yes, everyone else is secretly jealous. The only other three cents of advice I have is to keep your eyes open, job wise, for something that works with your lifestyle. If you wanted a husband, you’d have gone online and gotten one., but you didn’t because that’s not you, okay? Stay as you are dear. All will work out just fine.

    Great post, thanks for sharing Kally!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kally says:

      Thank you for the positive energy you are imparting here and to Lindsey! I’m sure she is thrilled that her story has receive positive impact and encouragement from the readers here.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Here’s some advice from a Old Timer {soon to be 74}

    YOU are your worst critic; and You’re right now also the “problem” {Ya haveta wanna change to CHANGE}
    Consider finding a job that your loves could utilize:

    Maybe a travel agent? Maybe mom and dad could fund a travel agency for you to run? Of if you have the personality; some sort of TRAVELING Sales position. Maybe a job on a Cruise Ship?

    It seems to ME, that you’ve caused the problem and that its up to YOU to solve it. I don’t see where the situation will improve UNLESS YOU make it improve. So accept your responsibility. Don’t look for others to solve it for you; but also do not be afraid to ASK for help.

    Not everyone is called to the married life, so don’t be overly concerned about that element.

    My final advise comes form experience: GET GOD active in your life and your Life decisions.

    Patrcik

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Kally says:

      Good advice, Patrick. And you’re not that old 🙂 but just enough years behind you to impart yet another golden wisdom.

      Like

  8. Lani says:

    I think we live in a society that caters to a timeline of ‘this is how we do things’. And if you deviate from the norm then it’s frowned upon. It’s difficult to be different. We can glamorize and admire (or admonish) those who dance to their own tune, but at the end of the day, it’s hard, very hard. And yes, I speak from experience.

    At some point in our lives though we need to decide how to live our lives w/out hurting others. But are they hurt by our decisions? Is there anything we can do about it? Yes or no, it’s worth reflecting on how our actions affect others, but not to be paralyzed by it.

    Good luck dear, and thanks for writing this down!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kally says:

      Thank you, Lani for the positive comment and output on your thoughts. We all have the herd mentality, don’t we? Once we are out of the norm standards, we are labeled as difficult, different and not celebrated for our uniqueness.

      Like

  9. Patty says:

    Don’t let anyone put you in a box dear Lindsey, put don’t put yourself in it too 😉
    XxX

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Patty says:

      And I just remembered Alex and Becca. I don’t know if Lindsey reads the comments Kally, but she might find them inspirational: https://roamwildandfree.com/

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Kally says:

        Yes, Lindsey does read and follow my blog so she’ll come across your comments. Thanks for the recommendations!

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Kally says:

      Thank you so much for the positive advice and outlook, Patty!

      Ps. Still owning you an email… little one is sick 😦

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Patty says:

        Oh no…all the best, may she feel better soon! XxX

        Liked by 1 person

  10. I think it’s wonderful to be living with your loving parents… lots of love and power to you…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kally says:

      Thank you for your comment and welcome to MiddleMe!

      Like

  11. Ravisingh says:

    superb! loved it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kally says:

      Thank you, Ravi Singh.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Ravisingh says:

    u r welcome Kally!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. So honest…so pure. ❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kally says:

      Thank you for your comment. And welcome to MiddleMe!

      Like

  14. Lindsey has quite an interesting story. It reminds me a bit of my own. I had a more or less normal career until age 37. That was the year everything changed.

    At the start of the year, I was married and the owner of a small business employing 13 people. By year’s end, I was divorced and no longer a business owner. I had also been flung across 1500 miles to Colorado, to a city where I knew no one.

    After a couple years managing a small business for someone else, I decided I no longer wanted the responsibility of such things, and that I no longer needed to be respectable either. So — consequently — within a few years I was living a very free spirited life doing odd jobs such as waiting tables or building decks, and spending plenty of time going on road trips.

    I’ve settled down a bit since then. Age, you know. But I haven’t gone anywhere even remotely back to owning a business again.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Kally says:

      Wow. What a drastic shift in your life! Thank you for sharing your story with us. I bet you have plenty of interesting epic adventures along the way.

      Like

  15. Anonymous says:

    Hey,great post Kally!Living your life to the fullest and continue exploring more elements independently with interesting job though!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kally says:

      Thank you for your comment and welcome to MiddleMe!

      Like

  16. Train yourself in a thing you would like to – start a travel vlog as you like to travel. Talk about what all you have seen and also keep travelling. Would be helpful to so many people too

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kally says:

      Great advice! Thanks for sharing this with us, Rupika.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. bernard25 says:

    COUCOU
    J’ai un jardin enchanté
    il n’est pas très grand
    c’est un petit coin mais ; il t’est destiné
    Tu peux t’y reposer, même cueillir quelques fleurs
    que j’ai fait pousser avec tout mon cœur
    Certaines sont très gaies, parfumées et très colorées
    D’autres sont petites, insignifiantes et peu odorantes,
    Dans mon jardin, tout est utile
    tu peux y trouver une source de réconfort.
    de l’amour , de l’amitié si désiré et surtout d’être écouté
    je te souhaite une belle journée ou bonne soirée
    Belle semaine et plein de bonnes choses pour toi
    je te fais de gros bisous.
    Bernard

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Hoon Gyeong says:

    you are the luckiest one then. I want to live with them but the reality never want.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kally says:

      Thank you for your comment and welcome to MiddleMe!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hoon Gyeong says:

        most welcome dear.

        Liked by 1 person

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