I’m a 28-year-old guy and I have been working as a senior digital marketing executive for a local company for the past 6 years. In the looks department, I’d say I’m quite above average. Let’s just say I am not short of women throwing themselves at me for dates. Although I partied a lot, I have never been romantically involved with anyone. I have always thought that when I love someone, I’m going fall hard and it will be forever. With the exception of Sarah.
I knew Sarah from my college days. She was the one who got me my current job. Her father is the director of a fairly successful media company that has branches everywhere in the States.
My problem is I don’t know how to reject anyone. I know Sarah has always been in love with me. I have no intention of stringing her along and I have never given her any hopes that we will be romantically together.
Somehow, over the past 1 year, she considered herself as my girlfriend even though I have never held her hand. Sure, we have been out together but that’s what friends do anyways. Look, we have never even entered a cinema alone to watch a movie. The things we do when we are out are casual meals.
I have gotten myself into a rut when her father thought I am her boyfriend. He called me into his office and gave me a lecture on how to treat women right. I should have said something then but I didn’t. He proceeds to give me a promotion (that’s how I got the senior title) and threaten me that should I break his daughter’s heart, I’ll be jobless. My both hands are tied down with the financial burden, I have got a huge study loan to pay, I just place a hefty down payment for a new apartment and most importantly, I’m paying for my mother’s medical bills,
I just can’t lose my job. So I let it slide. Hoping that Sarah will lose interest in me if I continue to show indifference towards her.
Biggest mistake ever.
Over Easter, she invited me to a casual party at her family home. With the impression that everyone I worked with will be going as well, I showed up not knowing that she planned to announce our engagement. I couldn’t say anything, could I? Not in front of her 94 years old grandma!
I confronted her privately and she accused of me cheating on her! Her father got wind of our argument and almost threw me out of their house. Drama ensued at the workplace as well. My boss – her father will make snarky remarks during boardroom meetings and sometimes in front of our clients, putting me down and making me look dumb.
Oh, I want to quit so much. I want to throw my resignation letter in his face. I keep telling myself that I rather am in debt than to lose my freedom. But somehow I can’t make myself do it. Sarah isn’t a bad girl, perhaps I can grow to love her one day if that day isn’t today. She has always been a good friend. Friendship last longer than love and that’s good for a marriage, isn’t it?
I tried many times after our shocking engagement announcement to try telling Sarah my true feelings about her. I don’t think any went into her ears. I even tried one weekend not to answer her calls and choose to hide at home. The result is her father showing up and banging on my door. Sarah hadn’t eaten a single food ever since I went missing. I had to go and persuade her, coaxed her before she finally relented. After that episode, I fear what she will do if I break off our engagement on top of losing my job.
Sarah wants our wedding to be held at the end of this year. She has gleefully started planning her dream wedding and trying out bridal dresses. My future father-in-law has already announced to the company that I’ll be training as his successor beginning next year. I’m so deep in this mess, I can’t pull myself out of it. Even my parents are overjoyed that I am finally settled down with a nice sweet girl. My mother (blessed her heart) even gave Sarah her own wedding ring.
So there, I’m bound tightly by chains that I wasn’t even aware of them slinking over my body in the first place. I’m miserable, I’m sad but I can’t do anything to make it right. The only thing I’m grateful for is that I’m not in love with another girl. That will be too painful to bear. Perhaps, it is my fate that I will never taste love in my lifetime.
So is it okay for everyone around me to be happy while I stew in misery?
Looking for other whisper love secrets like this?
Whisper: I’m In Love With My Student
Whisper: I am obsessed with my secretary
MiddleMe 
Dearest Kally, I got my two cents worth for this young man. Could you pass it on to him? I see the problem so clear!
This is the HUGE misconception with that emotion called LOVE. Also the cause of so many failed not only marriages but big time any relationship.
Love is not the euphoric thing that we called LOVE. Love means COMMITMENT. Like:
a. A pledge or obligation, as to follow a certain course of action: a public official’s commitment to uphold the Constitution.
b. Something pledged, especially an engagement by contract involving financial obligation.
He is committed to pay his school loan. In the same way? He can commit himself to Sarah, after all? Sarah is already his friend.
Perhaps he will benefit from following the love in my heart I share with all? Just a thought. How u been? How’s the princess? Much love, thia. 🙂
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Big hugs, Thia. Little one is doing good and healthy.
I’ll pass on the advice to the storyteller. In fact, he is able to see your comments. Thank you for genuinely and generously wanting to help him. I’m sure he is appreciative.
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Been reading all comments. lol. What do I see? We are all human beings! I had the same reaction to the article when I first read it. I am a human being. Surprised? lol
Now? what do I see now? Both the young man and the young woman are EMOTIONALLY IN-STABLE! Why blame the girl only? She is doing what we all do, aka, manipulating with our emotions of love or anger or whatever, only? She is doing it to the MAX! So?
It’s only natural that we human beings react in shock, but! If we start looking at ourselves and our doings? If we start questioning our reactions? It will humble us!
Even so? It will set us free to love the lovely and the unlovely. It will set us free from our own self’s limitations. I know. It happened to me. It could happen to thee. Much love. thia. 🙂
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Love your thoughts, Thia. Truly comes from years of experience and wisdom.
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O my Sweet! Wait until I get to share what is happening this week and from now on. For now I’m keeping to myself. Walking. Eating. Sleeping. Relaxing. It’s really been YEARS of experience! lol Now? at 79? I’m starting fresh. Can u believe it? Much love, thia.:-)
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Oh please do share in an email to me. Big hugs, Thia.
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Just in time. It’ll be emails for a while. Taking a break to work in the book. I’ll see the high lights to email you. Ok? 🙂
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Caught your email. Please pardon me as I take some time to reply to your email as I’m traveling now with the little one. Godspeed, Thia and big hugs.
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Traveling in good company for sure. Testing time! lol love u much! xoxo 🙂
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Love you much much and do take care, dear Thia.
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Oh dear, she sounds like a character I created for a sitcom. I didn’t really think someone like this existed.
I don’t think you should marry someone you don’t love or feel a romantic connection to for the sake of money. Money goes but memories are forever. Is this what you want to remember?
Start looking for another job. Your promotion will look good on your CV. The ‘successor’ role is only if you marry the daughter so it’s best you write that off. When you find another job, you can explain your reasons politely in your resignation letter or make up a reason – perhaps say you are grateful for his generosity but need to make your own success in life.
I don’t understand why you haven’t told your mum the truth. You need someone in your corner that knows your true feelings and can support you whilst you break off the engagement to Sarah and her family. Otherwise, enjoy your succession.
I believe you will meet a girl you really connect with and you will find it impossible not to cheat on Sarah and be extremely soul destroying to remain faithful. Then you will live a life of lies or misery.
Getting out is your best chance at long term happiness (short term will be financially hard but you can progress you career on your own abilities instead of a false love).
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It is interesting
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I agree with “allyaldrige”. One thing he should do is follow his heart. Start find a new job, sell the apartment¨and be honest with the people involve.
Many people afraid to lost money, job, etc,etc and get stuck in the rut. But if the person start following his own heart, something amazing will happen.
I am a believer and I always say: one door closed and the other door will open wide.
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Thank you for sharing!… there is only one option for the young man and that is to be honest in front of everyone…it is not going to be easy… it will come out eventually in either case… 🙂
“You don’t marry the person you can live with, you marry the person you cannot live without”…
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Ah love this quote. Yes, it is not an easy path for him to decide on. It’s his life and ultimately he is going to pay a price whichever he chooses.
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Life is not easy, sometimes one has to make difficult decisions when truly living life… 🙂 one needs to determine what is happiness to them… that is why some people become freelance writers… 🙂
“It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.” Agnes Repplier
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I like to think the more difficulty your life is, the more interesting it’ll become. The part about freelance writers is so true! Lol!
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And some become old hippies… 🙂
He’s an old hippie
He’s not sure what to do,
He don’t fit in with the old
He’s too old for the new
He’s not out to make a fuss
He’s just trying to adjust
(Bellamy Brothers)
🙂 🙂
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Oooo… you keep making me fall in love with your quotes!!
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I’m damn near speechless….
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😶
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I’m surprised this is a real person. What a mess he has on his hands. He must start to find a new job. He hasn’t realized it yet, but he will need one regardless if he marries her or not. If they marry, something will happen and she will leave him and then he will lose his job. If he doesn’t marrry her, he will lose his job. Two paths with the same outcome.
IMHO, She doesn’t sound stable in many ways to me, by not eating until her father shows up at his door? Very strange reactions and needed coaxed to eat. This is not the first time this woman has been in a situation where she controls it all by her emotional instability.
If he can’t do something to end it himself, he needs to find a guy who will “romance” her away from him. This may be one way to save his job. Wishing him the best in life either way. 😊
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Thank you, Debbie for your sincere advice. You are very astute indeed on the paths that will destroy him and his job eventually. Friends has been counseling him likewise. But life is full of tough choices, ain’t it? To me, the lady in question is playing mind games and not emotionally matured. But it is based on his side of the story.
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omg just look for another job. Do you really want to marry a person who forces you into a relationship? I’m digusted by her attitude and your bosse’s attitude. They are coercing you.. I understand that you feel trap, but if I was you I would rather lose the job than losing my freedom. Imagine if you want to divorce her afterwards? I’m sure she will find a way of ruining your life… She’s a spoiled girl, who always has her way from what it looks like. Run! lol – If you want to be smart about it, start job hunting on the low, and break up with her when you have a secure position somewhere else.
Good luck!
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Lol. Love your honest advice. I practically can vision you screaming “Run!”. I know he will read your comment if he hasn’t already and hopefully, heed your advice to ‘run’ the other way.
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Kally, I agree with all of your commenters. This man should tell the truth first to Sarah, until she “hears” him.
Then, his family and last his boss. It will be best to leave, quit and start over. He can even say his boss had pressured him into a relationship. . . Just no names given.
Be professional! Good luck. . .
Nice conversation starter, Kally.
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Thank you, Reocochan. The last that I spoken to him, his mind still in turmoil. Perhaps your comment will be a changing point for him.
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You always have a choice. Me, I would never ever choose to commit myself to someone I don’t love and stay at a job with so many strings attached. The misconception in this story; it is NOT WRONG to be egotistical and choose to love yourself first. Yes, it will not be easy, but yes, it will be worth it to be able to life a live authentically.
I so hope this young man, with a whole life in front of him, find the strength to choose for his own happiness.
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Good advice, Patty. I think he will be a good classic case for you to coach on. He needs to see his worth rather than view his job more important than his worth, throwing away love in his life.
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Thanks dear! And yes, I agree totally. XxX
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I think you should follow your passion, because that’s is your right decision in you. Just straight away with your feeling.
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Thank you, Muka for your advice.
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The truth will always set us free! I would advise this wonderful young man to cut himself loose. A marriage that he was manipulated into entering could only be misery for the rest of his life. There is a much better destiny waiting for him!
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