Motherhood may be a dream job for many but it definitely not an easy job. I dare say the toughest job in the whole world, more difficult than any other worst jobs out there.
Don’t believe me?
Motherhood is an endless worrisome job that has absolutely no break. It’s a 24 hours x 7 days job. Even when you get a day off, (your partner volunteers to look after your child for a day so you can pamper yourself or realistically get some sleep), you worried your head off and conjure images of your partner (pick one: accidentally drop the kid / forgot to feed lunch / lost the kid in the mall).
And at the end of the day, no other companies will ever recognize your contribution as a Mother and even go as far as to ignore the years of sacrifice you made on your career as a stay-at-home-mommy.
Yes, it’s nothing personal, it’s just business. And in the business world, it can be cruel. So is motherhood. You have the fantasy of gorgeous nursery with an adorable cute little one smiling up at you as you sat in the rocking chair, rocking the sleepy one under the moonlight.
The brutal truth (I wished someone had told me this) is that the gorgeous nursery is a non-existence because you’ll bring the little to your bedroom every night for the next one year because of the fear of sudden infant death in sleep. I’m not exaggerating, SIDS is very real. The gorgeous nursery (if you still have any) will cost you an arm and a leg, filled with worn clothes, piled up with new diaper packs (resulted from binge buying during a sale) and well-meaning gifts (that are useless) collecting dust in the corner.
And the baby is not going to be as adorable as you think she is when she wails in your face, going red and nothing you can do, absolutely nothing you do, can make her stop crying. (My little one is a colic baby.) You stop sleeping 8 hours anymore (I wish someone had told me that), you are so sleep deprived you walked into glass doors (happened to me twice this month) and the moment you get some peace and quiet to lay your head on the soft pillow, she starts crying again.
About worries.
Give me a manager who worries about his responsibilities all the time. Give me a boss who thinks he is not enough (and never will be) all the time. I’m a workaholic by nature and I do worry about loads of things when I was a manager: my staff, their performance, our product launches, our service level, key performing indicators, profits etc. Sometimes, it even kept me awake at night. Or spoils my holidays because I couldn’t set it aside.
Oh, please. That was nothing compared to motherhood. I eat, sleep and breath baby worries every single minute. Yes, I did the craziest (but common) thing that new mothers do. Wake up in the middle of the night just to stare at my baby’s chest for a few minutes to make sure she is breathing fine.
Yes, it’s a cruel cruel world.
And to think that many hiring managers and recruiters just scoff off your explanation when you mentioned you took (filled in a number) years hiatus to look after the future generation of this world. Instead of looking at skills that you developed as a mother, they choose to go ‘So good life, I envy you that you can stay at home with your kid.’
If I hear the same speech again from someone else for the fifth time this week, I’ll diaper fling at the speaker.
I made the hard (and teary) choice to give up my career and stay at home to nurture and it’s supposed to be a beautiful thing. A self-sacrificing move. Instead, mothers are being punished when they want to return to work full time by people who think full-time sleep-deprived motherhood is no big deal, not worth the mention in your resume.
That aside, motherhood itself is punishing. I don’t see anyone would feel guilty or worried about losing their jobs if they sneak out the backdoor for a 5 minutes smoke break. I can’t even close the door to my toilet to shower/ poop/ pee without worrying if she’s going to survive if I take a quick pee, let alone the guilt of closing the door on her.
Our one-way conversation goes like this “Sweetie, mommy needs a shower. Can I close the door, please? Just 5 mins? Okay, you can sit outside by the door. I’ll be right out before you know it. Fine… you can come in and watch me shower. I’ll be really quick. Whatever! I gave up, you can shower with me.”
My daughter’s response to the conversation is a non-stop wailing (no tears) until she got into the shower stall with me.
Of course, motherhood has its rewards. Let me let you in on one real fact: the heart-swelling satisfaction you get when your child puckered up to give you her first kiss beats hands down first-class business trips, fat juicy bonuses, sky view office and the big fat paycheck. But it’s not just one moment, it’s multiple moments, heart swelling moments every single day. The time she fell and hurt her knee, she doesn’t want anyone but you to hug her. That moment she beam at you when you walked into the room. The sweetest moment when she shares the last of her precious favorite blueberry with you.
Those are the moments where I feel “Yes, I’m envying myself for able to stay at home with my kid!”
This post is dedicated to all the mothers out there.
The ones who kiss our pain to make it go away.
The ones who endure 12 hours of labor.
The ones who sacrifice her (career / girls’ night out / hourglass figure / dreams / sanity)
The ones who guilt trip themselves all the time
The ones who stole bites of chocolate from the fridge when they thought nobody is watching
The ones who accidentally took a sip of wine and felt like a terrible mother because she is breastfeeding
The ones who sleep only 4 hours every day
And the ones who walked into glass doors
Happy Mother’s Day
Can’t get enough of my thoughts on motherhood? Check out these:
Timetable Of A Work-From-Home Mother
Curb The Gender Differences For Our Next Generation
Can’t get enough of MiddleMe? You can find me sharing my thoughts here as well:
Instagram @kallymiddleme
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LinkedIn linkedin.com/in/kallytay
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MiddleMe 
I so relate to you being a new mother and yes no one buy your point that you have spent on taking care of your child and taking off from your career,everybody just want to tag those time as doing nothing.Great post Kally.
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Thank you and happy Mother’s Day! Don’t despair, we mothers will strive on!
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Thank you Kally and same to you
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Excellent shared wisdom, Kally. As a mother of seven and “mom of many” your words resonate deeply and encourage beautifully. Blessings to you and yours, Beautiful! xox
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Thank you so much, Micki. And a Mother of 7, wow! How do you do it? Happy Mother’s Day! Many love and hugs to you and your lovely family.
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You say it as it is Kally, I am sure all mothers agree. This IS motherhood, and it is not recognised as a responsible job. Mothers form the future leaders, workers, well generation. It is in their hands how caring , loving, understanding, responsible that generation will turn out.
Super post Kally, watch out for the glass doors 🙂
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Thanks a lot, dear. We are so recognize through commercial means but not on the corporate end, it seems so unfair. But then, business world never is fair. I watch for the day my head will breakdown a glass door. Lol!
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Hahaha! Wait until she hit the sweet sixteen with a mind of her own! And finish school/university? She believes to be your mother! That’s today’s generation of super smart ones–the future of the world! Bless my heart!
Take heart. Eventually? There is ONE who harmonizes all of our inharmonious lives by the power of His love from on high!
You are a wonderful mom! Your reward is coming. Much love, your sister. 🙂
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Thank you so much for your blessings, Thia. Every milestone is a sweet journey and a new chapter that I hope to look at it in a positive light. Every time she cries, I reminded myself that I’m happy that she’s alive.
Much love on this lovely day.
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Beautifully expressed…I can so relate to this 😊
Lots of good wishes to you as a mother and as a super woman we all are at tough times!!!
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Thank you and happy Mother’s Day, Fariha!
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Happy Mother’s Day 😊
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I can absolutely relate with this post especially the part where they don’t want you to shower, pee, etc. 😂. A mother’s job is like no other job. It’s rewarding when you see them grow into the kind person and they thank you for raising them well. You’ll be a fine mom, Kally just like I said from the past. Happy mother’s day to you!
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Thank you so much, Winnie. We share the joy, laughter and sometimes pain with all mothers alike on this special day. Happy Mother’s Day, dear Friend.
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You’re very much welcome, Kally! True! Thank you! 🌹🌹🌹
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Thanks for sharing… Happy Mother’s Day to you!… 🙂
“ The love a mother has for her children is legendary, it is said a child is the mother’s heart outside her body.” (Author Unknown)
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Thank you! It’s difficult to have your heart walking and bumping out of your body all the time.
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What a beautiful, truthful and heartfelt post. Thank you for sharing it with us today.
I can empathize with you; I had a colicky baby, she started screaming at 9 or 10 at night and barely let up until 5 or 6 in the morning when the day started again for my husband and toddler age son. I walked, rocked and cried with her, but couldn’t sleep as I had to let my husband rest so he could go to work. But through it all, as you say, there are those wonderful times of slobbery kisses, sweet hugs and the awe of getting to know your child!
Happy mother’s day!!
Blessings~
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I feel your pain, Mother! I was wondering why I am such a bad Mother, carrying the colicky one up and down, until my husband step in and sought doctor’s advice then, we had it diagnosed as colic. After she turned one, life is a lot enjoyable.
We never walk alone as mothers. Happy Mother’s Day with hugs and sloppy kisses.
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Kally,
I felt the same way! My little one’s colic began to go away when she was around 9 months old. Life did become much easier.
I hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day filled with lots of hugs and sloppy kisses!
Blessings~
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It was wonderful. To me, everyday is Mother’s Day when she is healthy and happy. Nothing compares to our little one’s laughter. Love and blessings to you and your family.
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It is like Mother’s Day! I love to hear little ones laugh. I think I could listen to their giggles and laughter all day long!!
Love and blessings to you and your family, too! ❤
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Sounds like being a good parent irrespective of gender
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Thank you and welcome to MiddleMe! Happy Mother’s Day!
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Hope you enjoyed the day. Holidays always raise expectations but frequently fail to meet them
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Not for mother’s day. I couldn’t care more about the flowers or chocolates. To me, Mother’s Day celebrations should be warm and loving and private. 🙂
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Thank you for sharing this out
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Best job I ever had. It is amazing the things that don’t even faze you after awhile. Enjoy your Mother’s Day.
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It’s totally true. I no longer freak out at poop explosion. It’s a norm of life.
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Thank YOU mom!
As a dad, grandpa, and great grandpa; I can’t even imagine the awesomeness of being a MOM.
I am often mindful because of the great example of my Bride of 50 years that I WOULD NOT BE HERE were it not for my Mom. I can think of no greater; or no more difficult occupation, JOB, or challenge than Motherhood.
Everyday OUGHT to in some small way be a “mothers day.”
THANK GOD [really} for Mom, and Mothers! {and I do}
With great gratitude,
Patrick
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Thank you, Patrick! I didn’t know you’re a great grandpa! Gasp!
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Being a mother is a big job. One that we should embrace and be grateful for. Toddlers are a handful, but their hugs are priceless.
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Well summarize thought! Thank you for sharing this. I love it. Happy Mother’s Day
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Well said.
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Thank you, Jennie. Happy Mother’s Day!
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Same to you, Kally! 🌸
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Very true Kally, and I can relate!
I have five kids, 4 grown-ups, I lose the eldest 5 years ago at 21 and his leaving made me change my life and the way I deal with his sibling a lot better. Motherhood is something we learn by doing and in the process, I felt like I made a lot of mistakes. It’s really difficult but the most rewarding and the most fulfilling task entrusted to us.
Happy mothers day and blessings on your journey as a mom!
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I’m sorry for your loss. It must been extremely hard and almost impossible. I, too made a lot of mistakes and I know I will continue to make mistakes but that is what makes us human. I learn and grow with my child together. Big hugs. Don’t guilt trip yourself, you will always be the best in your children’s eyes. Happy Mother’s Day, Aui.
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Thank you Kally and greetings for you as well!
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Motherhood, goodness, one time I was almost fired by my employer for coming in late and having mistakes in my job, My baby had been crying for 2 weeks the whole night. I never got plenty of sleep in those 2 weeks, I was fatigued and felt like I was dying. But am glad I pulled through. This post is so accurate.
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Thank you, Medza. I think Mothers are superhumans. Haha. I just walked into another glass door today. I don’t know how we function without sleep but we do. We still get things done (maybe with little mistakes but hey, we’re human too!)
Happy Mother’s Day!
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Happy Mother’s Day Kally! Yeeeees we are are super humans
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Happy Mothers day! Ohhhhhhhh yes this is the journey, right?
I never planned on losing one to cancer at 24 and when I did, work and not to mention society unless they lost a child, expects you to take three days and get over it..you take 10 months to make them a lifetime to raise them and they think you get on without them and your heartbeat in a few days…ughhhh so frustrating, being a mom in everyway is the core of who we are! The best prepeared people to deal with real life problems are Moms…cheers to mommas..
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Big hugs and so sorry for your loss, Keri. 3 days will never be enough, let alone 3 years and no Mother will get over the trauma even after 30 years. I hear your frustrations and I feel your pain but you are not alone, all the mothers out there are by your side. Totally cheers to all the mommas.
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Since you think motherhood is so hard you should try doing fatherhood! 🙂
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Haha. A good one. I know dads have it hard as well. Especially new dads.
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Especially those dad’s who were divorced against their will and prevented from seeing their children by their vengeful ex wife.
Then there’s the children:
My mom divorced my dad when I was 9 yrs old then back in April she buried her 9th partner on my 59th birthday.
Still I wished her a happy mother’s day in spite of the fact I’ve been paying the price for her choices for half a century.
I’ve noticed that you liked quite a bit of my posts on my site: the Poet’s flower garden a whole back. Then my comment on a tangle of weeds today.
Nice to meet you! 🙂
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My pleasure to meet you, Dabir. And I do agree with you on the daddies who are wrongfully abused. Some of my male friends are like what you have described. One of them hadn’t seen his Son for 3 years because his ex-Wife moved without telling him her new address. From what I know of his character, he is a terrific person and a wonderful father.
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Nothing soothes quite like the wit and wisdom of a mother.
Hope your day was fabulous!
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It was beautiful because I have her!
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I almost cried reading this. It’s so true! I had a bad childhood and by 15 years old, I was a mother. Although I was young I took care of my son, worked and went to school. By the time I was 20 yrs old, I had my daughter and I was a single parent till my son was 10 yrs old and my daughter 6 yrs old. During that time I worked 2 jobs and put myself through nursing school so that I can give my children the best possible life financially. With them having to be in daycare, they suffered some abuse that I didn’t find out till 2 yrs ago when my son was 21 yrs old. I blame myself everyday! Being a mother has not been easy at all for me, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. My children are my rock! Thank you for this article ❤
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Thank you for sharing your heartfelt experiences with us. Big hugs. You are the best! Don’t let anyone put you down. You gave what you could and even more. You are a wonderful mother and I hope your children appreciate your love and warm care.
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Thank you so much love! And yes my children turned out to be beautiful and kind people despite of everything. They love, respect and appreciate me. They don’t only say it, but they show it.
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That is everything a Mother will want in their children. I kept thinking my daughter is my report card. Her success is my own. And the only thing I want for her is that she is happy. Make any sense? I love that your children turn out so beautiful and kind. I don’t say this enough…you are a wonderful mother.
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Thank you!!! You’re absolutely right, all we want is for our children to be happy.
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Reblogged this on Alessandria today.
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Motherhood excellently portrayed 👏
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Thank you for letting me know
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I think that motherhood isn’t a job its a calling. I very heart felt thank you to all the mothers who keep life real. Nothing that you have done for us will be wasted.
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Thank you so much for your encouragement. Yes, motherhood is a very personal calling and it is not easy.
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A belated happy Mother’s day, Kally.
I understand all too well. But it has its upsides.
When one of my female executives would get pregnant, I would go: “Congratulations!” and wait until the very last moment for maternity leave to last as long as possible. When the new mother would come back after 3 months, all the office would greet her, and I would put a box of Kleenex on my desk. 2-3 hours later, at best the new mother would come in tears in my office: “I can’t do it, B. I can’t! It’s just too small!”
“Take a Kleenex. We can talk about it?”
“How?”
“You work on a project-basis from home, until you are ready. 3 months? 6 months? I don’t care. Most of the work we do can be done from home. We communicate by mail. If there is a doubt, we have a meeting here. Only one condition. If the client wants a meeting, you go to the meeting. Get somebody to keep the baby for 2 hours.”
That solution has always worked very well for me, the clients and the mothers.
😉
(I hope I haven’t told you that story already)
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You haven’t share this story with me but I’m glad you did now. I love it that your company is flexible and accommodating to new mothers. That says a lot about your company and your actions. Being a new Mother definitely not easy and we all can do with understanding and allowances like what you did. Kudos to you, my friend!
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In to-day’s world? Flexibility should be the norm. Of course, it also depends on the people. I did that with very good, responsible executives. People I had known for some time and whom I knew would take the opportunity as a challenge. And I was never disappointed. It is the way of the future.
Cheers. (How do you say “Bye” in Hokkien?)
😉
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Cheers! You don’t really say bye In Hokkien more like I’m leaving “wa zhao seng.” Means I’m leaving first.
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I love languages. How each language structures words into meaning.
Wa zhao seng. 🙂
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As a widow and a mom of three I can so relate. We need to build each other up and appreciate the hardest job in the world (raising a human). I lost my husband when the kids were 5, 9 and 11. So many times I wanted to tell myself to stop and just appreciate being a mom.
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Big big hugs. It is tough being a mom, even tougher being a single mom. You are extremely courageous to reach where you are today with your 3 beautiful children. You are beautiful and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
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❤️
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