Last Friday, I posted an article up with Evan’s email seeking advice to handle his dilemma. With his blessings, I decided to post his situation up and seek MiddleMe’s readers advice on how to help this young man.
Thank you for your positive response and your helpful advice. I have consolidated the comments below to give Evan and others a much better summarize view. I am sure that Evan is grateful and will take your advice to heart.
I have not started working yet but the next step that I am about to take will affect my choice of career for the rest of my life. I am starting university next year and I haven’t quite figure out what I like to do.
My parents have different opinions about the courses I should take. My dad thinks I should learn to be more assertive and will benefit if I take up a business course. My mum prefers that I invest my time in technology or engineering classes because she is an engineer and her dad was an engineer before. My parents have often argued over this since a year ago and this is causing me a great deal of stress. My friends say I should pick a course of my interest but I am a boring person. I don’t have much hobbies or interest. I do like to read a lot though but I don’t think there is a university course on reading.
I am my parents’ only child, and it hurts to see them quarrelling over me. There have been talks of my mum leaving my dad over this and I think this is getting out of hand! In my rebellious streak, I want to tell them I don’t want to go to university anymore but I know it is not the right thing to do.
I really want to let my parents know my decision so I can stop them quarreling over dinner every night but how can I tell them when I don’t even know it myself?
Thank you for reaching out to us and allowing everyone here in MiddleMe to help you.
Let’s start with the core of your problem, that is you. Figuring out what you want is important but most important is that you have to have more confidence in yourself. Like Patty said, you are not a boring person otherwise you wouldn’t write to us here and like Noel Williams mentioned that you need to take charge of your life and be more assertive in pursuing your dreams.
You can start questioning yourself what you like by exploring what kind of context you like reading about as per suggested by R_prab. You can do up a list like what I love to do and what Roger has suggested to reflect on those subjects on your lists which have overlapped, see if you are able to centre in upon one which sets your mind and instincts working together. I do find that once you set your words in black and white, something thoughts get clearer and solidify. Try talking to people as advised by Solvig, who aren’t your parents or even family, will help you understand you better, especially if they are good listeners and can harness whatever your heart is beating for.
You can also look at the practicality aspects like your employment locality as per suggested by BeaMD and I do agree with her that a degree may open doors in most job but skilled jobs requires more of a technical education. And hearing from 76sanfermo questioning yourself what field would you like to work in , in the future? Remember when you are really young and your teacher asked you to write or draw your ambition? Explore that for a start. Try out a few summer internship is a great idea, contributed by Solvig.
Generation Now suggest that you talk to your parents, indivdually and both together, on their expectations on you. Throw the question back to them and probbed them for in-depth details. Roger also mentioned that a parent has to accept a child will wish to go their own way, all they can do is guide, support and be ready to help the child up when they stumble (we all stumble, all through our lives). Tracedive shared his experience of not listening to his parents and took up a course of journalism and psychology because he desire to be a writer. Solvig also shared what happens when he listened to his dad and ended up dropping a course in the university after a year.
Ultimately, you have to make your bed and lie in it. It is your future and your choice. Your parents are only able to advice thus far. Signing off with a quote from Tracedive, “Follow your heart, take a break from the commotion, listen to your heart and you will get the right answer.”
Best of Luck.
All of Us at MiddleMe
If you have any more advice to give to Evan, please feel free to help the young chap by adding your comments below!