I always love reading posts from readers all over the world. One blog never fail to amaze me is Dr Gulara’s blog. She is such an inspirational figure to me. Below is a guest post especially written for MiddleMe by her. I do hope you all will enjoy her effort as much as I have.
Dr Gulara Vincent is a writer, blogger, and a university law lecturer. She lives in Birmingham, England, with her husband and two young children. You can visit her writer’s blog at http://gularavincent.com/blog or connect with her on Facebook (www.facebook.com/DrGularaVincent) and Twitter (@gulara_vincent).
Don’t want to return to your job after maternity leave? Then read on.
I first realised that I wanted to quit my high-paying stable once-much-desired lectureship in law at one of the best universities in England… on the first day of starting my job. On that day, I had a miscarriage. I was a teaching fellow in my department in the preceding academic year and worked my socks off. The interviews and appointment took place in February 2011, so when I found out I was pregnant in June of that year, I had mixed feelings: on the one hand I was elated to finally have a family; on the other hand, I worried terribly whether my colleagues would judge me for leaving for maternity leave so soon after starting a lectureship. My miscarriage on 1 September 2011 resolved that dilemma, but left me wondering whether I had got my priorities right.
So, when I got pregnant again in the summer of 2012, I tried to pace myself at work. I still struggled to slow down, and the end of the pregnancy was stressful with several unexplained bleeds and an early induction. It took me a few weeks to get used to my newly-acquired freedom, but once I did so, I realised I didn’t want to go back to work. But what could I do instead? How could I bring in money to support my family? By then, I was writing a book, but everyone kept saying that writing doesn’t pay the bills, so I didn’t believe that I had what it takes to quit my academic job. I returned to work for a few months, and got pregnant again. This time, I knew I had a year ahead to come up with a clear plan of leaving my job behind.
By the time my daughter was born in February 2015, I’d started building my business. It’s still in its infancy. I offer 1:1 sessions to women writers to unblock their creative flow. I blog regularly. My first book is complete and I’m pursuing its publication.
It’s all finally coming together. Here’s what I’ve learnt from my experience of starting your own business after maternity leave:
- Don’t just walk away from your old job, unless you want to be a stay-home mum, which, let’s face facts, is a full time job in its own right. Give yourself time to transition and build a solid foundation of your business. Start building the muscle of being an entrepreneur in your spare time first.
- Get clear on what you want to do, but more importantly why. Have an overall vision of why you want to dedicate yourself to your business. It requires time and commitment, and your big ‘why’ will carry you forward in times of difficulty, as well as inform the next step you need to take to move towards your dream.
- Consider going part-time before you quit. It can easily take 12-24 months to establish a business and longer to make it flourish.
- Make sure you’ve got the resources to invest in your skills and business operations. It may be starting or revamping your website, paying an accountant, or taking a relevant course.
- However difficult returning to your old job may be after maternity leave, honour it until your last day there, because it’s subsidising your new dream-life. I feel nothing but gratitude for my academic job. It’s given me the financial resources I needed, lots of skills I can take forward into my own business, and security to act from integrity and not despair. So, when I offer 1:1 sessions to women, for me it’s more about offering than making money.
- Last, but not least, owning a business can reveal many patterns we may not have been aware of while being an employee. Personally, when I stepped onto this path, my issues around self-worth, fear of exposure, my relationship with money and many others surfaced. I invested in my personal development through a series 1:1 sessions to clear both blocks and limiting beliefs. From that place, business building flowed with more ease and joy (you can read more about my experience of building business from the inside out at http://gularavincent.com/2015/12/14/the-ease-of-building-a-business-from-the-inside-out/).
- Choose the path that makes you happy. In the end, career and achievement are not what you’ll value in the long run.
Go and visit her blog to learn more about this amazing woman!
Want your stories to be featured on MiddleMe? As long as it is career related and inspiring, you can drop me an email at kally@middleme.net for a discussion.
Join MiddleMe at Twitter (MiddleMe_net), FaceBook (MiddleMe.net) and WeChat! Best things in life are meant to be shared, start spreading MiddleMe around, after all, sharing is caring.
MiddleMe 
That’s an amazing story. Deciding how to handle maternity is certainly an issue that requires careful thought. It’s not the kind of thing where you can just hope for the best and wait to see what happens.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Absolutely. Maternity in itself is a full-time job, and it takes time, commitment and determination to do well at it.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment and connecting on my blog as well. I enjoyed visiting your blog too. I hope to stay in touch.
LikeLiked by 3 people
You’re welcome. It was an interesting post. Thank you for the visit to my blog. I apologize for the appalling length of my posts! I try to split them up with frequent paragraphs and keep the tone light, but even so, they can be a bit daunting.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You’ve got a great sense of humour! I’m loving your posts 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you very much. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m glad you love her story!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes, it was very interesting. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree with point no. 7 🙂
Career and achievements don’t really mean much at the end of the day. Sure it will pay the bills but one can never be completely happy and satisfied.
LikeLiked by 2 people
It took me a while to realise that unless I’m happy in myself and with my family all those external achievements don’t amount to much. Thank you for reading and sharing your views here.
LikeLiked by 2 people
No problem 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
Well said. I agree with that point totally.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
¡Muy interesante! Y totalmente de acuerdo con la reflexión final: es de vital importancia elegir el camino que te hace feliz. Saludos 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
Absolutely – it took me a while to realise that simple truth. I feel much happier for getting my priorities right. Thank you so much for reading!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Reblogged this on Lost Dudeist Astrology.
LikeLiked by 2 people
This was inspiring and helpful.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh, I’m so pleased you found this inspiring and helpful. I really appreciate your feedback!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you!! So glad you like it
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good afternoon.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Good afternoon 🙂 I’m loving a warm welcome on this website.
LikeLike
Good evening!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh again a great guest post Gulara.
I goo regnant before I had my first post university job. Finding a job was already hard as many employers are apparently worried here about the fact that one might end up pregnant. I had a job as a high school teacher for 3 months but I quit as it was straining on my health, I worked less time than I had to spend in the school or in public transportation… Not ideal when pregnant. Also knowing that I would only have a 3 months leave total and coming back to my non stable and physical job when my child (it was a contract for the school year) would be 2 months old made me go mad. After I left I found out that one of my colleagues had an early miscarriage.
I was quite successful with my freelance teaching (I made more money than in the classroom) a success I have yet to reach again.
I am sorry for this heart breaking loss and I am so happy for you that you are finding your path and enjoy life with your two children.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much for your comment and sharing here. I think as women we experience a lot of situations like this but don’t talk enough about it. Plus, as you say, employers are wary of hiring women. It’s as if we failed if we work after having children, and failed if we stay home. Neither is good or bad, but it helps to find what makes us happy.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Very much essential tips for ladies.good one . again an informative post
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for reading. I really appreciate your comment.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Keep writing Such post. Eager to read
LikeLiked by 2 people
Interesting reading, indeed. As always, all the best to you w/blessings! 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m so glad you found it interesting. Many blessings to you too.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I see women struggle with this issue a lot. I chose to be a stay at home mother. We were poor as church mice, but survived. When I was ready to go back to work, I chose another direction which I ended up liking much better. Follow your gut. There is no one right choice.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m loving being home with my kids, so I’m certainly trusting my gut on this one. Thank you very much for sharing your experience. I really appreciate your support.
LikeLiked by 1 person
” In the end, career and achievement are not what you’ll value in the long run. ” And I totally agree!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you for your comment, Marcello, I appreciate you reading my post.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Excellent post that has multiple applications.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Robert, I’m so grateful for your kind words about my post.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Gulara, as always your words are wise and thoughtful. My problem was that I never figured out what I wanted to do when I grew up. I enjoyed being a stay-at-home-mom, but then I went through a divorce. I ended up working predominantly for small businesses. I learned quite a bit about the mistakes small businesses make, thus putting themselves out of business. If anyone is looking at going out on their own I DO hope they contact you first! Thank you for your advice.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Awww.. That’s super sweet. Gulara would love your comment! Thank you!
LikeLiked by 2 people
My absolute pleasure, Gwynn. It’s so much harder to learn things on your own especially under the pressure like you had to do after the divorce. I’m glad you learned a lot and now share your wisdom on your blog and by commenting on our blogs. Your presence and warmth are true gift and I truly appreciate all your support!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much for having me over here, Kally. I’m grateful for a warm welcome!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank yourself for the wonderful post! It is a tremendous success and my readers love your work!! I welcome you back anytime you have a brilliant idea. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Kally, and I love your readers 😀 Great community, fantastic engagement.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, I love my readers to bits! They are a fantastic bunch and always so forthcoming with likes and comments.
LikeLiked by 1 person