A Word of Advice: Losing the Red Line Here

Hi Kally,

I’ve followed your blog for a while, and I’m enjoying it and your input very much. I think many others would agree.

I was hoping to reach out to you to hear your perspective on an issue that I currently have. At the very least, I am hoping to vent a bit, because I feel like I have the need to get some stuff off chest.

So here’s the deal:

I’m working abroad, as a Financial Advisor. I have an MBA and I graduated in 2013. When I got this job, I was very happy, and kind of scared at the same time. Moving away from my home country as well as taking on this seemingly (and in reality also) hard job, was intimidating.

I’ve worked in this position for a little over a year now. My contract is until further notice. My salary is constructed as base + commission. Due to bad times in the market, I’m largely dependant on the base salary, which is not a lot, but sure enough to get by on, especially combined with my girlfriend’s salary. This is not, however, the issue here. Salary is vital, sure, but secondary to me. I find comfortability with company values and mental stimuli to be more important. The feeling that I can develop, learn more, and look up to my superiors, personally and professionally.

I don’t agree with many of their personal values. I don’t feel like I learn new things anymore, and I’ve kind of lost faith and feel rather hopeless oftentimes. I can go on and on about how much I think I could run the company 10x better than they can, but, again, that’s not the issue here. This is just backstory to why I feel a little down.

Long story short, I don’t want to be in this position for this employer any longer than necessary (i.e. until I find another job). The trick here is that it must (at least preferably) be in this city as I am in now, because of my girlfriend’s job. We’ve talked about long distance, but don’t want to try it. So, we’d like to work in the same city as each other. And I don’t want to move back home without a superb job, and I can’t just quit my current one until I’ve found another one here. Also, I hear it is easier to find a new job while employed, because it looks attractive to employers.

So, in essence:

* I lost faith in my employers after maybe half a year (both personally and professionally), which;
* Affects my motivation (and salary, because, commission)
* My confidence is low when browsing for vacancies, because I feel like I haven’t done or learnt anything for many months now

Ugh, I feel like I’m losing the red line here. Sorry about that. Even though this email is long now, I could go on a hell of a lot longer about many other aspects to this. Internal communication is crap, there are no goals and follow-ups, there’s no values (only money, money, money). I’m sick of it. I want to look up to my bosses and take pride in being part of the company. Now, it’s just a job that supposedly looks good on my resume. But I want more. Also, I haven’t got enough money to just quit and look for other jobs, so I can’t really quit and look for jobs full time.

Based on this total mess I’ve presented you, do you have any experience of anything similar to this? What would you do?

I suppose the obvious answer is to just suck it up and continue to look for another job.

Thanks in advance,
John I*


 

Hi John,

First of all, thank you for writing to me and appreciative of your compliments. It is always nice to have readers dropping an email to me, whether to say hi or to tell me their problems.
I don’t know about you but I find that typing out my frustrations and anger in an email helps to ease out the cranks in my mood and usually by the end of the email, I feel much more calmer. I do hope it is the same case for you.
Let’s dive into your issue now. Kudos to you for taking such a big leap into the unknown and move to a new country! It is very hard and difficult for those who relocate. Just simply tell us to adapt and settle down doesn’t cut the frustrations and confusions we feel on a daily basis. It takes a whole lot of time and effort.
You have more or less listed out your own solution here.
– You want to be in the same city.
– The amount of salary is secondary but still important.
– In need of constant challenges and learning experience
– You need a job to replace this current one.
Yes, I am going to tell you to suck it up while continue to look for another job. However, I am going to throw you some great recommendations that you can explore while job hunting.
1) Don’t be too eager to jump into any other job that comes along the way. You don’t want to jump from one erupting volcano to another erupting volcano. You’ll end up being even more miserable. Choose wisely on your next job. Open up your eyes, ask around and do research on the companies that you are applying for.
2) Instead of begging for challenges in your current job, look for it in other avenues like doing short courses. You can find short FREE courses at coursera.org and edx.org. The courses indicate how much time you need to commit to per week and it is okay to drop off a course when you get too busy, you can always pick it up from when you left off in another time.
I strongly advocate the free courses as it will divert your frustrations somewhere else instead of hammering your emotions towards disliking your job and you get to have new challenges and learn new things! The best part, it is totally free! You can choose to take up courses to enhance your existing skills like “Influencing People” or you can try your hand out at something totally unrelated like “Sharpen Vision: A Poetry Workshop”. Whatever it is, this is something you can add onto your resume.
3) While job hunting, you can also explore being a freelancer. With your expertise, you can find business and individual seeking financial advices from a 3rd party instead of directly through a company. Or at best, you can write financial articles and earn some quick bucks here and there. It gives you the challenges you crave for and perhaps if you’re really good at it, you find find yourself with a good reputation and freelancing jobs might come pouring in. By doing this, you are accumulating new experiences and also something you can list in your resume.
4) From what I understand, many parts of the world are experiencing economic downturn this year, some countries have already started feeling the heat. So don’t quit your job just yet, instead divert the frustrations away temporary. Picking up new skills and adding on new experiences, will create more dimensional outlook on your profile, making you more attractive to the future employers.
Above are my suggestions and I do hope that it works out for you. Happy job hunting.
Regards,
Kally@MiddleMe.net

40 Comments Add yours

  1. Geetha B says:

    Bravo Kally, you writing is as usual informative and very much to the point. Good going and thanks for all you do for others. Keep shining 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kally says:

      Thank you, Geetha for giving me the strength and belief to carry on my work. Your words made me smile.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Geetha B says:

        I am glad they made you smile and very certain you are making a difference in many people’s lives. That in itself should give you much strength Kally. Keep up the good work and your selfless help to people.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Kally says:

          Thanks again. Having a wonderful weekend!!!

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Nadine says:

    Kally you are raising excellent and valid points to a problem that many people are facing nowadays, well done ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kally says:

      Thanks very much, Nadine. It is a headache that a lot of people are facing now. Finding a job is not easy in this economy.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. thia licona says:

    Dear Kally, you are a professional with a heart? A heart with the wisdom of the power of love from on high. You have made my day again! Now, would you give a click for a trip to the blogs? https://thiasjournal.wordpress.com/ http://dietolive.nowistime.com/ I need a boost to my human soul? 🙂

    BTW I still have not been able to figure out the instructions on how to add the comments code in http://dietolive.nowistime.com/ and the forms do not work in the Contact page.

    Even so? Your advise to take free courses is perfect. I am a perpetual student. Much benefit from Continuing Education. Another good place to learn is: https://alison.com/?utm_campaign=382_nca_20160104&utm_source=outbound+marketing&utm_medium=email

    And, most certainly I will click in the two you gave here. I like to investigate. I know that Father is always in the look out for me to keep my carnal mind occupied in whatever will avail me to put His message through to the public.

    Another thing I would like to contribute to your wisdom is: As long as you keep looking at ‘what’s in it for me?’ that long you will remain in the box of failure or near failure.

    Yes, we must count the cost but? Let’s begin with the thought, How can I help you? What value can I offer to this world? Look out from your heart to help rich or poor? The return shall eventually materialize in a world of freedom. Take it from the horses mouth as the saying goes.

    His love in my heart for all, thia/Basilia.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kally says:

      Hi Thia!! I have been to your post. Can’t leave comments though. I thought you had put in so much effort and time to write such a long intricate piece, you deserve a big hug and a pat on the back.

      Like

      1. thia licona says:

        OK? I think I have been giving you too many links. The one link with the post I wish you to comment on is, https://thiasjournal.wordpress.com/

        Now? Perhaps that’s the one piece you are referring to as ‘intricate piece’?

        Alright. Here is my dilemma? Many people have praised me for the good writings but? Only very few have expressed to me that the writings are helping them.

        My dream is not to become famous as a good writer.

        Indeed? My dream is the hope to encourage my readers to grab on to the progenitor of those writings of mine.

        So? That’s my passion. That’s my hope? And hope is the evidence of things not yet seen.

        Thus? I wait. Soon? Our Father will finish the tapestry intertwined with the power of love from on high as He join us all together for His honor. For His esteem. 🙂

        Like

  4. andysmerdon says:

    Nicely said Kally… and good luck John, keep at it 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Bea dM says:

    Good advice, Kally. It’s tough all over the world right now, and most people I know have to hunker down, do a good job in often unsatisfactory situations, and use the time well to develop and hone their own skills. Though I don’t have the same issues, I believe in lifelong training anyway, and have done almost a dozen free online courses over the last 3 years. Coursera is excellent, very international, and I’d like to share another great though more Europe -oriented source: http://www.futurelearn.com. I’m told http://www.open.edu is good too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kally says:

      Wow!! Great sharing of those links. I haven’t come across them before. Hmm.. I’m so tempted to pick up a course myself despite I’m pretty squeeze for time. But wonderful advice you have given here. I’m sure John will appreciate too!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Bea dM says:

        It’s so motivating learning new things 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Kally says:

          Yes, it always is!!! Thanks for always dropping by, dear!

          Liked by 1 person

  6. Miriam says:

    Good advice Kally, many others can take heart from your words of wisdom.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Kally says:

      Thanks, Miriam!!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Well said Lally and all the best to John. I have personal and professional experience in this situation.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Kally says:

      Share your experience. What happened in the end?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I hired a career coach to help me because I felt stuck. She was great because I was made to realize what my values are so that I could find a job that had the same ones I did. When your values don’t match the company values there is an internal conflict that happens and makes you feel the way John described. I ended up changing jobs and also trained to become a life coach too because it was so inspiring. Now I am happy in two areas. I hope success comes his way as well. Thank you Kally for asking me to share my experience. 😊😊

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Kally says:

          Wow!! That’s great sharing, Jennifer! I hope readers that read your comment will learn a thing or two! Thanks. I’m so glad that you’re happy now.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Thanks so much Kally you are very sweet ❤

            Liked by 1 person

  8. BunKaryudo says:

    I have to agree with you about staying where he is until he finds something better. Jobs are not things to be discarded lightly.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Kally says:

      No, not in this economy

      Liked by 1 person

  9. wwwpalfitness says:

    Reblogged this on wwwpalfitness.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kally says:

      Thanks, buddy!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. wwwpalfitness says:

        You’re welcome:)

        Liked by 1 person

  10. TR says:

    Excellent advice on continuing education and John answered his own question and was looking for justification on “suck it up!” I would like to add my 2 cents. We all think we can “run the company” better because we’ve never had to. If we did we probably wouldn’t make such a statement. The grass is rarely greener on the other side and as for money, money what is the company in business for?
    You and your girlfriend?
    Suck it up John! Conentrate on making some money for your company which is more commission for you. Who knows you may get promoted

    Liked by 2 people

  11. I don’t know about John, but I needed some answers to my work life & I think I got some answers here. Thank you Kally ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kally says:

      That’s great you learn some answers here. Good luck and if you need tailored advice, you can always reach me at kally@MiddleMe.net.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for helping me and sharing your mail address 🙂 I will remember to reach out to you, in case I need any help 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Wise advice from a young and advanced mind on an all too familiar topic! Love the way you write and think! There is so much reward in helping another get a different perspective on a difficult situation. You were so made for this. I’m sure you already know that! Glad I found your blog☺️ Chanel

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kally says:

      Thank you so much, Chanel! But you are wrong on one count, I’m not young anymore. Haha! I’m in my mid thirties hence I come with bagful of experience. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You have such a young face! Must be the Oil of Olay! Lol! Ok Miss Experience, I’ll be reading☺️ Chanel

        Liked by 1 person

  13. 1stpeaksteve says:

    I am going to chime in being a fellow management member. I previously worked at two extremely well run companies. The last one was bought out and things changed for the worse and I left. I then ended up at a place that is far from my ideals but it makes money and is in a different field.

    I have been there 3 and a half years and I am a manager on another property from the one I started at. The former property just called me a few days ago to interview for a higher position. So I am working for a company that I am not fond of and moving up. Odd?

    No. Because I set my standards and I try to go above and beyond the norm. I also try to find solutions instead of complaining. You will go a lot further. I also am just viewing my time as learning new things and creating opportunities to put on my resume.

    If you are the fry cook at a fast food establishment and you suggest a new product or earn compliments from the guests for being helpful and friendly then you have something to put on your resume. So for John, realize that at work you can either just clock in day to day and do exactly what everyone is doing or you can look beyond your walls and find something to make yourself stand out. Believe me…most of your co-workers are probably doing the first plan of action and not doing the second.

    Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kally says:

      Wonderful advice!! Thank you for chipping in. And welcome to MiddleMe!

      Like

      1. 1stpeaksteve says:

        Thanks! You have a helpful site and to me, the joys of having a site is having interaction. So do not worry about me…I am sure I will do my part and chip in! Ha ha!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Kally says:

          By all means, you’re always welcome here!! 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

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