We are not perfect and we can’t be always expert at everything life thrown at us, admitting that is the first step towards self-realization and a step closer in recognizing your strengths. I am a perfectionist and when I was much younger, I’m pretty stubborn too. I always wanted to do things my own way, as much as I appreciate other people’s advices, I’m headstrong and prefer to find my own way. I once believe that that is the only way I would learn. And if I fall, I wouldn’t drag anyone down with me, the mistakes are all my own so is my glory.
After many years of bumping and falling, experiences taught me to put down my pride and open up my stubborn mouth and ask for help. If you are like my younger self, too afraid of rejections, too afraid of burdening others and wanted everything to be in your own way, you are just making your life miserable.
In a workplace, everyone works in a common community and only with strong team work will goals be met, productivity increased and challenges conquered. While I am not saying that you are not capable to achieve all that, together with a team you probably will achieve that and more by taking your results to a higher ground. And what’s more fantastic to have a group of people celebrating the victory you all achieve together?
I remembered one time I had to ask for help was when I was using excel for the very first time. Not having a computer in my home makes me very vulnerable in office when I had to compute some simple accounting data into an excel sheet. My boss knew that and was silently amused at my frustration, banging my fingers on the keyboard as I tried again and again to insert a drop down list and when I counted the number of items aloud instead of highlighting the column to get a total count. Don’t laugh, I was ready to pull my hairs out. I was then 23 years old, some 10 years ago where having a computer at home is not all that common.
Finally after half a day trying to complete a simple 15 minutes task, I turned to my boss and admit that I don’t know how. His reply? “I didn’t expect you to know. I was just wondering when will you open that golden mouth of yours and ask me for help.” Yes, my then boss now turned mentor can be so irritating.
I was taught a valuable lesson that I would carry forward throughout my life and now I’m passing down this advice to you. Don’t be afraid, don’t let pride stand in your way and of course, don’t abuse the help you get. The worst answer you can get is a “No” but at least, you tried and shame on the person who refuse to help you. It’s on their books, not yours.
Simply put, if I am an expert on everything, then I won’t be working because I’ll be rich selling my knowledge!
PS. Now I need to reach out for your help, anyone out there who is expert on namecard and logo designs?
I want to do one for MiddleMe. I’m getting tired of sending my website address over whatsapp to everyone I meet and the thought of having a proper namecard to pass over is appealing. I do know I can engage someone from Fivver.com but they can’t guarantee the results I’m looking for. And I’m not going to spend big bucks to engage a professional designer. So anyone who love to offer his or her help, I’ll take it!! Just drop me an email at kally@MiddleMe.net.
MiddleMe 
just dropping by to say..I always look forward reading your post daily…keep writing kally..
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Awwww… Thanks for your sweet words, my friend! A great big hug to you!!
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happy to tell you that i finally sent back your questionnaire.. Pls check it out.
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I’ve got it! Thank you so much!!
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Great post, Kally! You’re right, we all need help sometimes and could save ourselves a lot of time (and avoid unnecessary headaches) by putting aside our pride and asking for help when we need it.
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Thanks a lot for your support!! Glad you could drop by!
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This is so true. If we don’t know, don’t be afraid to ask for help. I can just imagine a little Asian girl hunched over her computer looking very angrily animated at Excel and not getting anywhere 😀 I have to give props for your boss for letting you swim on your own and use your own initiative as opposed to hurrying you along. We all have pride, and we are all afraid to be wrong because probably we’re afraid of being judged – and often in the workplace we are already judged for our work and performance, and we don’t need another burden on us. Asking for help can make us look weak, but in reality, no one is perfect and we all can learn from each other.
Good luck with the namecards for Middle Me! I’m actually wanting to do namecards too, so if you have any advice on that when you figure it out, let me know. It seems that a lot of people I know are doing namecards online 🙂
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Especially with us Asians, we are raised on not to ‘lose face’ in front of others so swallowing one’s pride is pretty difficult. I wanted to do my namecards online initially until someone pointed out doing it over at KL’s printers would be a lot cheaper.
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I was also thinking the same thing – to do my namecards offline at one of the print shops near my place in Melbourne. For one, it would save on shipping costs and I’d be able to feel the card before I make a large number.
I still hate losing face. I really do. It must be an Asian thing. A lot of the time I have to tell myself that may not be the best attitude.
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Definitely an Asian thing because frankly speaking when comes to other stuff, we’re not as egotistic except when comes to asking for help or doing worse than others.
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Great post Kally. You and I are cut from the same cloth. I’m really stubborn too and I hate asking for help. I can say with authority that “I feel your pain.”
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Haha! We’re so much alike, my friend.
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We are like minded in many respects. Time and exposure taught many lessons which are for our good so that we stop exhausting ourselves and utilize the talent of other people, GOD has give them 🙂
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Great wisdom! Only through experience will we learn our ways.
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Great post, no-one is petfect of course, although ive met many that think they are.
If you want design help, why dont you email me – simon.farnell@yahoo.co.uk
I could try helping, it depends what you need ☺
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Wow!! Thanks for offering! I’ll drop you an email in a bit!
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Cioo, whenever you like… ☺
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You’re awesome to offer your help!! Awesome!!
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☺☺☺
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Ah I am so much like this too! Growing up I ALWAYS wanted to do everything my way (spoiled only child style) and am still quite stubborn!
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Well, with that boyfriend of yours, you can be as stubborn as you want!! Lol!
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Hey! My turn. Here is my two cents worth. I lost count of the years I have spent dealing with my carnal nature and coming to the Father for help in doing so.
My Father in HIs turn? He was silent for many years. Then, one day, up went my request, Father, make me into what You want me to be. His response? A question with an answer. He asked me, “What is it that you want me to make you into? I already made you a human being.
Duh! But I am persistent. Later on I asked, Father? Take out of me that human nature, I always do what I don’t want to do, would you take that nature out of me? His answer? Read it in Isaiah 30:13-22. I will only quote part of that passage along my dilemma at that moment of time. Here it goes. Hope it blesses you all as it blessed me. Past writing quote,
“And though the Almighty Yahuwah gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide Himself any more, but your eyes will constantly behold your Teacher. And your ears will hear a word behind you, saying, This is the way; walk in it, when you turn to the right hand and when you turn to the left.
Then you will defile your carved images overlaid with silver and your molten images plated with gold; you will cast them away as a filthy bloodstained cloth, and you will say to them, Be gone!
Ha! Ha! HalleluYah! “And though the Almighty Yahuwah gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide Himself any more, but your eyes will constantly behold your Teacher.”
This amazing exhortation IS what most all miss!
Without fail every single soul that I know are hyped up in all the beauty of heavenly life without any notion that such heavenly life is not to be lived in this world! For as it’s written in this world we are bound for tribulation & affliction! As it’s written,
I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have perfect peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted! For I have overcome the world. I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.
And so, what is my point? What is it that I am conveying in this message in reference to my overbearing personality? And for an answer to this question I will have my Loving Father answer it for me. Speak to our hearts my Father that my readers may understand why You are having me to record these words at this moment of time.
“My child, as I have told you so many times before, I will never eradicate your human nature from you. I have heard your request and you have heard My answer. Most definitely you are a human being as I created you to be and there is no need for you to be otherwise.
“Yet My beloved child, there is a need for you to submit that ‘I’ that represents your humanity to Me. And in the submitting your ‘I’ to me lies the snare for most of My children because most of My children do not understand what ‘submission’ is in its entirety.
“The great majority of My children, including you, are much too busy defending themselves and trying to make others see their errors that they miss a great deal of the lessons that I am teaching to you and to them.
“And so, I let you suffer from others the unjust accusations and the attempt to control the way that I let you express yourself to the end that you learn to let go and be still in My Presence.
“Thus, manifesting your request in writing, delights My Being because I am now satisfied that you have learned such lesson after the latest outburst with Joyce which caused you to make such request to Me. For now you have become totally aware of the futility to defend or to stand up for your own self against the little things that so aggravate most all human beings!
“Furthermore I am most delighted with your progress in letting Me take care of all things no matter how long I let you struggle with your own negative thoughts about all that I have given to you to proclaim to others. Your obedience to stand firm in the words that I have given to you for the benefit of all of My children in spite of all the opposition and in spite of your doubts and internal conflicts is totally pleasing to Me—a sweet fragrance unto My nostrils!
“So, go on My child! Go on and on and pay no mind to any disturbance that comes your way because you are now, from this day forth, conditioned to do so! From now on I have conditioned you more than before to enjoy all things that you are to enjoy without the burden of what anyone does for you or against you. Rejoice and be glad for I delight in you and My delight in you is your strength!”
Wednesday, September 16, 2015 at 5:03 am
Father? Your delight in my obedience! Your delight in me IS my strength! How can I assimilate that in my mind?
“You can’t My child, so quit trying! Quit! Quit! Quit all your deliberations and aberrations and unworthy suspicious about My doings in Your life and the life of others!”
Since then it’s been uphill for me. Now, I know for sure that it is no longer I. but the power of love from on high that causes this unpredictable peculiar thing that by nature I am.
Let’s all connect in the Spirit by the power of love from on high. Thus will have a taste of the future paradise or the Kingdom of heaven coming down to earth in due time–His time. 🙂
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Reblogged this on wwwpalfitness.
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I;m also a perfectionist and find out the hard way that in some arenas make you disliked bc of your work ethic.
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Quite true, you’ll just have to make sure you don’t overdo it. Or you overdo it but hide it well.
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Oddly enough I look like I can do so much but in many instances the slightest twist or bend hurts me a lot. Plus if I am trying to avoid having my group yelled at I have to lead and do at least as much if not more. Just I can’t do doubles or even two days in a row for the most part anymore, unless it is just training or tending bar.
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When I was growing up, I hated being unable to do even the simplest things. Usually I just did the best I could, until the day it was important that I try harder. Being stubborn has rarely been an advantage, and eventually I found the courage to ask for help. To my surprise, it was painless and I realised I could learn more this way. Even now, I only try to do things myself for so long before seeking help, and I’m constantly surprised at hoe generous most people are…
I always use Picmonkey.com for logos and image enhancement. Brilliantly helpful site, and easy to use and most of it is free.
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Thanks for the recommendation on picmonkey. I shall check it out over the weekend!
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Have fun!
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Reblogged this on Anita Dawes & Jaye Marie.
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Good post Kally. Many people have problems with asking for help. I for one exhaust myself with a problem before finally turning to seek aide.
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We are very much alike, my friend. Banging our heads into wall until it hurts.
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LOL Love your reply. Have a good weekend.
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You too, enjoy your weekend!!
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Thanks
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I love to help others. Beside being part of my job description, I really love this one part more than any other.
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Nice!! So what exactly do you do?
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Well, I work as a product group expert in my company. My job is to train new employees in production department and to help out the existing ones in their work. I also handle queries of customers.
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Wow!! That’s a heavy responsibility. Training plus customer support? That must be a lot of work.
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Yes, it is. But customer support is minor thankfully, training and support the production resources is major
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Would you be able to drop an email to me? I just had a really great idea in my head to share. My email: kally@middleme.net.
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Email dropped as requested 🙂
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I think it’s definitely wiser to speak up right at the beginning if there’s any uncertainty. I’ve been lucky enough to have had some very good bosses in my time. One of the things they all did was to encourage those under them to ask when they were unsure about something. Not only does this make for a better, friendlier work environment (which is no small thing in itself), but it means that the job gets done properly the first time. It’s a very poor bargain to skimp on five minutes of explanation at the beginning and then have to spend a day and a half later cleaning up the mess.
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That’s the wisdom I have cumulated after years of banging my wall against the wall. Great advice, Bun!
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Haha! I’m glad your head banging days are over. 🙂
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i agree you should ask for help if you need it. that being said, it still boils down to whether the helpee likes you. just like my message to you about words and money. meaning i love writing and maybe there s a profit to be made. help?
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I’ve gotten your email, I haven’t got round to reply you. I’ll do it asap once I get home.
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at your leisure
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i thank you for your feedback. none of those metrics will be meet by me
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You’re welcome. I do hope you find something suitable for you.
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my words are selfish and if anyone likes them too so much the better.
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So true, independent nature of many. However, Excel will try even the most determined and stubborn! I was a temp once and had to make an Excel chart for my boss’s meeting. I was clueless. I created a chart that made no sense because I had claimed I knew Excel to get the job. He didn’t discover it until the meeting when he was presenting it. It must have been an amusing disaster as I was not fired but offered full time employment. I will never figure that one out.
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Haha.. Did you get around asking your boss in the end?
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When I started I asked 3 workers in the office who didn’t know what I claimed I could do, how to make a chart in excel. Not one was willing to help me. All said they were too busy. So I made it up as I went along. When confronted afterwards I told him, “How crazy is that? It was working right when I finished it. Wow.” As a temp I had a low level of commitment and didn’t want to work in logistics. Very dull for me.
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Nice post, Kally. I have to say that your mentor´s answer is priceless LOL
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Oh you should have seen his smug face!
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Yeah, that face when you are right but you have to wait 🙂
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Kally, There is value in trying to figure things out for yourself but, of course, the trick that hopefully does with experience is to know when to ask for help. Sounds like you have that experience part under control.
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Well, I did learn the hard way. Lol!
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Very inspiring, the logo and namecard thing? Hmm.. let me see if I can contribute something.. Just let me know.
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Thanks for offering!!! I have reach out to one of my readers. But nevertheless, you are awesome to extend your hand!! 😊
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This just made my day 🙂 So true .
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Thanks, Katie! Glad to have you drop by!
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I’m working on my blog, Sunday, November 22, 2015, it is 3:45 in the morning here in Provence, on the French Riviera, I see that happen, our lovely Kally, to whom I wish a good Sunday …
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Have a wonderful Sunday to you, Bernard!!
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I needed to read this. thanks! be well.
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Thanks for dropping in MiddleMe!
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it was my pleasure! 😁
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Happy Sunday ☺.
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Hey friend!! Have a great Sunday too!!
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Reblogged this on Debatable News: Mainstream to Tinfoil Hat and more.
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I hate asking for help, but sometimes it is necessary. If you know your way around Photoshop, you can design and design until you like it, my PC crashed and its still at the repairers, would have cooked something up. And pls dont spend big bucks on anyone.
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Ahh.. I suck at Photoshop but don’t worry about me, some of the readers here have reach out to me! Kudos to them!
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Awesome. Am glad.
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Thank you Kally. This has come to strengthen me. I always ask for help even on my blog as you have done here. Often I get it. Please, when you get help that can enhance your blog kindly share it with us. I am self-taught ICT. That is why I am not growing as fast as I know I would have because there are many operations which would have enhanced my blogging which I do not know; but gradually I am learning and getting all the help I can. Best wishes to you.
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Thanks a lot, Ngobesing!! I guess one of the ways to share your blog is through meeting people, not only online but in real life, that’s the reason why I’m doing my namecard so I can pass around whenever I meet new folks.
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I get you Kally. I will emulate your example. I am sure this will pay off for me.
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It’s never wrong to ask for help. You can always put your “spin” on things after you learn. One boss I had years ago told me, “Learn it my way first, then if you have a better idea I will change things.” He was so right. His way was best as he had the experience.
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That is another great advice as well. I love it! Thanks for dropping in. And welcome to MiddleMe!
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I always helped others and when I reached out for help before I got rejected. Since I am blogging I have met so many wonderful Blogger-Friends that are really there for me and my family and support us.
Thank you all for being such wonderful friends.
Thank you for your wonderful blog. Love Odie
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And thank you for you being you!! Its because of your generous heart, you gain friendship and loyalty!
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Thank you for your complement. ;-)) Love Odie
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Reblogged this on KCJones.
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