In my culture, words that came out of someone’s mouth is deem as a promise unless otherwise stated. One does not casually said something and meant other things. In all aspects, this will destroy trust, respect and perhaps kill off any relationship. Particularly in the business world.
In the business world, partnerships counted heavily on trust and reliance on one another. One misstep could led to dire repercussions. In Chinese, we have one saying “君子一言、驷马难追。” It means a nobleman must keep his promise. Once a nobleman gave his promise, sturdy horses won’t be able to chase the promise out.
I once had a director who used to give out empty promises as if he is dishing out sweets to everyone. The company I worked for has very good conducive working environment, every colleagues enjoyed and even excelled in their roles however, the director tends to spoil everything people work for by not fulfilling his promises.
I remembered one incident very clearly when we had just received a huge order and all of us had to do work overtime in order to meet the deadline, the director called a meeting and gather everyone in the conference room with the agenda to boost everyone’s morales. He gave a great long speech and praises to everyone, even promises big bonus at the end of fulfilling the order deadline and tripled everyone’s overtime pay. But when it comes to end of the order, everyone including the managers and senior managers decided to throw a party to reward everyone’s hard work and effort, the director was nowhere to be found when asked to foot the bill, all the managers decided to come up with their own money to treat the rest of the people. At the end of the month, HR was not informed that our overtime pay was tripled and there was no sign off on the promised bonus. When the matter was brought up to the director, he simply brushed the matter off by saying he will handled it when he has more time. It never came.
Another incident involving me directly this time was that he praised my sales results for the quarter and promised in front of everyone during our monthly conference that he always recognize talent and will promote me to managerial position. Everyone including all the frontline staff was excited and happy for me. Everyone applauded including the director. Even the managers came and congratulated me and welcome me into their ranks. The promotion didn’t came. Even after 3 months, the director didn’t approve the promotion. I pursued HR who was at the meeting too and heard everything, came back to me saying the director simply said it was a joke, he did not meant it. Imagine my disappointment and fury! This is not a small company but a listed company too! The director was not some small fly but he was in the board of directors of many accredited organizations too!
After that incident, there are many similar incidents and all of us learnt not to believe his words anymore. One by one we left the company due to disappointment and mistrust. The last I have heard, no one stayed in the company for more than a year, due to high attrition rate, the company couldn’t keep up with training and retraining people, many good talented folks just leave after fulfilling one year to a competitor. About a year after I left the company, it was sold to a foreign entity with a change in management.
Have you encounter similar situation as mine? Why not share with us your experience? Come and join me at Twitter MiddleMe_net for regular updates.
MiddleMe 
Reading your post makes me thankful that I’m ”retired” now. I had a situation just like yours happen to me once. I was promised a promotion from my manager once. When it nev er came, I questioned him on it and he told me to “be patient.” The next thing that I knew he had hired from the outside a relative of his wife’s to fill the position that he promised me! Needless to say, he lost all face with me and I found a new job.
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Sorry, I forgot to mention. This is very well written and I still think that you should have a teaching position somewhere.
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Thank you, Kevin!! I’m all ears to any open teaching positions out there! I’m sorry that your manager did not keep his words, it’s on his books not yours.
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I agree with Kevin…strange things do happen in the workplace but this duality of the higher authority bothers us the most. I don’t understand how they switch so efficiently between two roles and still face the same set of people without any guilt or shame!
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Precisely, it’s sad especially when you place a trust in someone with higher authority.
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Exactly. But then this is the way many people are…they teach us unforgettable lessons and help us write articles later…Hehe.
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Hahaha!! And grow some white hair wisdom!
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We are actually getting good out of their bad…in a way…:)
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I used to have a manager who always told me I did a good job. He said if I kept it up, I would get a raise. The next year I did the same or even better at bringing in new business. He said it was great, and if I kept it up, I would get a raise. This went on for several years. Meanwhile, men in my exact same position who brought in less business than I did were paid $10-15,000 more than I was. I probably could have sued but I was too nice. The “happy ending” though is that I now have that manager’s job. We got a new CEO, and he really change the way things work. Otherwise, like you, I would have left.
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I’m glad that you still got what you deserve but it should be more than a manager’s role.
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My job is going to change in January, but that’s a change I need to make my life better.
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To take on a more meaningful job I suppose?
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To reduce my working hours while still engaging in work that is meaningful, I hope!
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Well, then I wish all the best for you!!
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Kally, horrible bossess are unfortunately everywhere. I don’t know how old you are, but I’m 25, and despite my college degree and relatively good experience, I’m still treated like a stupid teenager sometimes. Treatment that I highly doubt would be directed towards somebody who’s just ten years older or more.
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I can tell you the unfair treatment doesn’t stop just because you get older, people form bias judgement against one another so let your work do the talking and your actions do the showing.
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You’re quite right Kally.Thought it sometimes takes time and (lots of) patience to hang in there, if you’re doing a great job you eventually get the recognition …
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Well, I did not wait for the eventually to happen. Haha! I was young and pretty impatient then and of course, disappointment.
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as long as we learn lessons as we go along 🙂
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It is sad when you get a promise and it never happens, not a good leadership. Promises and praise makes morale better and makes the employees want to do it, but empty promises has the adverse effect.
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Precisely. You have summed it all up!
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Ultimately creditability of such officers is at stake as subordinates stop believing thus jeopardising working of the organisation. Institutions grow with the confidence of customers and the workforce. Employees perform only when they have sense of belonging ness for the institution they are working in. My memories go back to the working of a very small Bank in India which emerged as one of the leading nationalised banks of the country and a young steno rose to the post of Chairman cum Managing director of that Bank. All employees right from sweeper to the GM level used to call the Bank as their bank. That was the heights of sense of belongingness
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Yes, it’s the sense of belonging that works alongside with the company’s goals and targets. Destroying it with empty promises is a foolish thing to do, let alone from a director of its company!
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Reblogged this on Anita Dawes & Jaye Marie and commented:
Words are so much more important than most people know…
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I was actually laughing at the part where you were told that “it was a joke”….how can someone be of high position and I am sure of a highly educated human being play such a stupid joke? yes it was a pathetic stupid joke…good for you your out that company already…
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I was so utterly let down and disappointed because I had really thought I would have that promotion. Young hearts are easily breakable.
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Wonderful topic which emphaises the importance of our ethical duty.
People will trust you only if your word is your bond. However, in life you have those who have a difficult relationdhip with the truth, who will say one thing and do exactly the brazen opposite and it becomes even worse if such people are in positions of trust.
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Wisdom words indeed. Thanks for sharing your thoughts in the comment! And welcome to MiddleMe!
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I think what you went through is a common tactic with some managers, specifically designed to bring about a high rate of attrition, so that they company does not have to give raises or promotions. It’s a poor tactic, and as you noted, never works in the company’s favour in the long run.
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It’s a nasty method to use and in bad taste too!
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Manages who promise one thing and does another must surely have a massively demotivating influence on an office. I can’t see how they can do their job properly if their subordinates come to distrust their every utterance.
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Well, as one reader mention, it’s not uncommon because words are easy but actions are tough.
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I would hate to work for a manager like that. 😦
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Love your culture integrety. Yes I worked for a company who hired a new director, all it came out of out of her mouth were lies and gossip, she ended up loosing her staff. When she was called to explain she made up lies and sutuations. We all left. She’s stuck now with temps only. She is surrounding herself with no talent so she looks like a star. Thanks for sharing, great subject. E
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Thanks a lot, Elisabet! I don’t think the company will survive very long just with temps and low quality temps too.
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About that promise your director made to promote you.. It reminds me of how Thomas alva Edison promised to give his employer the legendary Nikola Tesla 50,000 of he improved the simple DC generator. After countless sleepless nights Tesla succeeded and went to collect the money from Edison who laughed saying that it was an American sense of humour joke and have Tesla 18 dollar per week raise.
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That’s awful! I worked for a place like that once too. The higher-ups still can’t figure out why their employees don’t stay.
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High attrition rates usually mean low employees morale actually should be looked into seriously.
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I agree!
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You are absolutely right, Kally!
Making a promise nowadays is more easy than a piece of cake while keeping them up is as hard as chewing a pebble.
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And swallowing a rock! Thanks for dropping by, Hammad!
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Anytime, Kally!!
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Reblogged this on GUM: Growing Up Millennial.
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At least you can quit in the civilian sector. Working in a military chain of command, you just have to take it!!! I understand the feeling!
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Oh my, it happens in the military too??
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Girl yes. My recent blog kind of insinuated a little of what I went through. I have a draft saved about horrible supervisors. Just have to tweak it and publish.
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Ooooo… I can’t wait to read that post!!
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There is an Arabic saying as follows: PROMISES MADE BY NIGHT ARE LIKE MELTING BUTTER. Take care.
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Nice saying, very poetic!
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Kally, this is just abuse from a boss. There is never any excuse for not delivering on a promise. I would be embarrassed both personally and professionally if I lied – and this is just lying, I’m afraid. Good luck in the new position
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Yep, this is plain lying and in front of the whole company too!! I’m now working from home, doing freelancing, the only bosses I have are my clients.
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Dear Kally, I wish that you would get what you got promissed and what you deserve. I do believe that in the long run he will fail because he is full of meaningless words.
Thank you for sharing your story. Love Odie
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Thanks a lot, Sweet Odie! He did fail because he had to sell his company away.
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Hello Kally, then he got what he deserved. That is good. I wish you the best of luck for your job future. Love Odie
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Yes, I agree with you that promises must be kept to strengthen commitment and friendship. Empty promises are like immature fruit which good for nothing.
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True words! What’s a man without his words of steel?
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*is good for nothing*
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I hate it when a promise made is not being fulfilled
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I hate it too!
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Freelance work is the way to go! I’m happy for your decision to work for yourself and not rely on anyone else. I wish only the best things for you from now on and into the future. 🙂
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Haha!! There are good and there are bad sides to everything! Thanks for the encouragement!!
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This a great post. That Director does not have my respect. A man of such high position should not do that.I think it’s mean. If you promise for, instance, to do exercise every day but try and later give up you can be excused. You tried but could not cope. But if you promise to do something which you can do and deliberately fail to do it, I think it’s bad.
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Yes, that’s bad. Breaking people’s trust and disappointing them. Thanks for dropping by!!
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It’s my pleasure, Kally. Geat day to you!
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Hi, Kally! I nominated you for the Three Day Quote Challenge if you’d consent to join. You can check out the rules in my post:
https://vintagesapience.wordpress.com/2015/11/23/three-day-quote-challenge-day-2/
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Hi Saloni!! Hope you had a great day. Thanks so much for the nomination, but currently I’m overwhelmed with catching up the award posts, I don’t think I’ll do you justice. Perhaps next time, dear! Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts!
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Haha. That is not a problem! Enjoy the awards. You deserve each and every one of them, Kally 🙂
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Reblogged this on Olamatts007's Blog.
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That’s just awful! I can’t believe someone could say a thing and not follow through!
Don’t promise anything if you cant keep the promise! 🙂
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Yep, it was really a painful lesson for me. You cannot believe how disappointed I was.
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I felt really bad while reading, I’m sorry you had to go through that 🙂
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Awww.. Thanks. It’s all over now. I’m glad to have moved on.
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